Towards the weekend I get a text from Jessie, which reads:

Hey, lady! I’m throwing myself a birthday party this weekend at my place and you’re invited. You can bring along your blonde friend, too ;-) P.S I’ve attached that list of dating sites I promised you. See you Saturday!

I smile to myself at the idea of her arranging her own birthday. Then I frown, knowing that Jay will be there. It will be a social setting, and I’m sure there will be girls throwing themselves at him, even if the majority of guests will probably be batting for the other team.

The idea makes me anxious. I really want to go, because I like Jessie. I want to stay friends with her. But I need to think of something that will make me less heartbroken if Jay does happen to bring a date, or start chatting women up when he’s there.

I scroll through the list of dating sites that Jessie sent, no real intention of joining any of them. I’m kind of disillusioned with my quest for romance right now. But still, it puts an idea in my head. If I bring my own date, then it will show Jay that I’ve moved on. That his rejection was nothing but a blip on my radar.

Even though Owen hasn’t tried to make contact with me, I decide to throw caution to the wind, sending him a quick text asking if he’d like to come to the party with me. I get a reply soon after.

Owen: Hi, Matilda! I’d love to go with you. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch. It’s not because I didn’t want to, I just wasn’t sure if you liked me. But I’m really happy you’ve decided to touch base. Looking forward to the party.

His response stirs a pang of guilt in my chest, because I’m essentially using him. But I do like him; I’m just not sure how much. He’s a nice guy with a good personality, and that’s not a bad start.

On Saturday afternoon, Michelle comes over to get ready for the party at my house. She’s been extremely enthusiastic about seeing Jessie again, which makes me want more details about what happened between them. So I ask her.

“Let’s just say, the woman knows what she’s doing, and I’m talking downtown,” she replies in a saucy voice.

I burst into laughter. “Did you just quote The Simpsons?”

She shrugs, smiling. “Maybe.”

“So, is this a new era in the love life of Michelle Malone? No more men, just women.”

“No more meat, just fish.” Michelle chuckles. “No way, Matilda. Jessie might as well be a fella, you know what I mean? I like men, and sometimes girls who act like men. Keeps things interesting. It’s no big deal.”

“I guess not.”

There’s a knock at the door, followed by Jay asking, “Can I come in? Are you ladies decent, indecent? I hope it’s the latter.”

“My mind is indecent, if that counts,” says Michelle.

Hearing his voice makes me jump. “Come in,” I reply, wondering what he wants.

He ducks his head in the door. “You two heading to Jessie’s party?” he asks.

His eyes sweep over me, and his posture immediately stiffens. I wonder if it’s because of the dress I’m wearing. It’s red with a sweetheart neckline that frames my cleavage; the rest of it hugs every curve of my body. It feels like he’s trying not to look at me even though he’s addressing me, which inadvertently feels like a triumph on my part. Take that, rejection. I can look amazing, and I don’t care if he doesn’t want me for me. I know that he likes my body, which is probably why the little fumbles we had happened in the first place.

“Yeah,” I answer, trying to sound just as standoffish as he does.

“Want a ride there?”

“We’d love one,” Michelle purrs. Jay nods and leaves just as quickly as he came.

“You should have said no. I told Owen we’d pick him up in a taxi. Now I’m going to have to get Jay to bring us to pick him up.”

Michelle eyes me. “And why would that be a problem?”

I scratch at my arm. “It just is.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake. Can you please just tell me what’s going on with you two? I don’t understand why you’re being so tight-lipped. We usually tell each other everything.”

I sigh. “That’s usually because I don’t have anything to tell.”

“But you do now, so spill.”

I look at her for a second, feeling bad for keeping secrets, and then finally I give in. I tell her everything from start to finish. By the time I get to the part where Jay told me he just wanted to be friends in the park, Michelle is jumping up from her seat by my dressing table, exclaiming, “What an arsehole!”

“Calm down. I’m the arsehole for letting myself get my hopes up.”

She points a hairbrush at me. “You are most definitely not the arsehole, Matilda. I could murder him right now. God, I have such a hard time convincing you how lovely you are, and then he goes and ruins all my hard work.”

Despite her angry tirade, I smile at her. “You think I’m lovely. Why Michelle, I had no idea.”

“Shut up and stop being a smart-arse. You’re the loveliest person I know, even if you do have a habit of hiding it behind sarcasm.”

I go to her and give her a hug around the shoulders. “You’re being very complimentary this evening. Are you sure Jessie’s lesbianism isn’t rubbing off on you? Because personally, I think you might have a crush on me.”

She gives me a little shove. “Shut your face.”

I laugh and step away before going to put the finishing touches on my makeup. Half an hour later we’re both in Jay’s car, me in the passenger seat and Michelle in the back. When he starts driving in the direction of Jessie’s apartment, I say, “Um, we need to pick someone up first. Is that all right?”

“Sure, darlin’. You bringing another one of your friends along? If you are, make sure to keep her away from Jessie. Don’t want her corrupting any more of your pals,” he says, winking at Michelle through his overhead mirror.

Michelle narrows her eyes at him and sticks out her tongue in a playful manner.

I fidget. “Sort of. I asked Owen to come.”

Jay’s jaw tightens at my words, and his hands flex firmly around the steering wheel. Great. I had a funny feeling he wouldn’t like this. He’s been mean about Owen from the beginning.

“You asked the douche chef to come,” he says, his voice low and irritable.

“Yes,” I answer. “Is that a problem?”

It takes him several beats to reply, and when he does, his mouth is tight. “Nope. No problem.”

The drive is silent as we go to pick up Owen. He’s standing on the street outside his apartment block, waiting for us and holding a little basket. I step out of the car and get a surprise when he comes up to me and gives me a hug.

“Hi. How are you?” I say pleasantly as we break the hug.

“I’m great. You look beautiful. Here,” he says, thrusting the basket at me. “I know you like our restaurant, so I thought I’d bring you some of our homemade breads.”

I smile at the gesture. “Wow, thanks. That’s so nice of you,” I say, taking the basket from him. There’s a tiny niggling disappointment in my belly, because when he’d called me beautiful, it didn’t feel the same as when Jay did it. It didn’t feel epic; it just felt…nice.

Is nice going to be good enough?

Owen gets into the back with Michelle, and I return to the passenger seat beside Jay. I make all the introductions and am thankful that Michelle is being her usual charming self, because Jay’s reception is somewhat frosty. He glances at the bread basket in my lap, and there’s that jaw twitch again.

When we reach Jessie’s building, Jay parks and Michelle leads Owen to the entrance. I’d almost forgotten that she’s already been here before. I think she does it on purpose, too, sensing that Jay and I need to have a word.

“Can I leave this here?” I ask, gesturing to the bread basket as he pulls a small wrapped gift from his glove compartment. I didn’t know what to get Jessie, so I just got her one of those One4all gift vouchers and a card.