“Fuck,” he mutters, biting his lip. He holds his cock in his hand, rubbing it up and down my wetness, teasing at my entrance.

“What?” I ask, breathless.

“Forgot to bring Johnnies.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll just eat you out,” he suggests, already moving down my body, but I grab his shoulders.

“No. It’s okay. I mean, I don’t have anything. You don’t have to worry about that. And I’ve been on the pill since I was a teenager.”

“Jesus, don’t offer me something like that, darlin’. I might just take it,” he says, eyes not leaving mine.

“Please, take it, Jay.”

One eyebrow rises. “You trust me that much?”

I nod. “You’re clean, right?”

“Of course.”

“Then I trust you.”

“Fucking hell.”

He pushes the rest of my dress up and over my head, then makes short work of getting rid of my bra. His eyes feast on my naked breasts as he moves his head down to suck each nipple into his mouth. “Hey, girls,” he says, talking to my boobs with a wicked grin curving his lips. “Missed ya.”

Oh, God.

I didn’t think a man talking to my breasts could be such a turn-on, but when Jay does, it really, really is. He lavishes them with attention for a long time, so long that I’m on the verge of begging him to fuck me. He slips off his jeans and boxer shorts, then pulls his shirt off over his head. His expression is serious when he looks back at me. His hand goes between my legs, a couple of his fingers slipping inside me. I arch my back at the pleasant invasion.

“Jesus.”

I bite my lip. “Is there something wrong?”

“You’re so wet, and fuck, you feel incredible.”

My skin breaks out in goose bumps when I see the dark look in his gaze.

“Tell me the truth. Has a man ever made you come before me?”

It’s ridiculous, given that I’m naked beneath him, but I blush. He stares at me. “Ah, there it is. I was the first. I fucking love that.”

He pulls his fingers out, making me feel empty. It only lasts a second before he positions himself, locks eyes with me, and then slowly pushes in. It’s nothing like having his hand there. He’s so much bigger, thicker, my walls clenching tight around him. His hands cup my face as he fills me up, and then when he’s completely inside me, he goes still.

“Fuck.” He stares at me for a long time. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt.”

And those are the most beautiful words that have ever been said to me. I feel like I might cry. Too many emotions are building up in my chest. The way Jay’s looking at me makes me feel like what’s happening right now is so much bigger than I can possibly know. There’s worship in his every movement, every touch. I’d thought I was just an attraction to him. I’d thought he just liked my body. But that can’t be all there is. This feels like coming home, and my brain can’t comprehend why.

He rocks his hips once and I shudder, pleasure ripping through me with the movement. He does it again, and I grip his upper arm tightly.

“That feel good?”

“Yes.”

“You want more?”

“Please.”

He moves his hips again, this time faster and more than once. He rocks in and out, his breaths quickening, the two of us growing frenzied.

“Jason,” I moan.

His thumb brushes my lips. “Love hearing you say my name, especially when my cock’s inside you.”

I get lost in his eyes, in the feel of him. Music and party noises drift in from outside, but I barely notice. In here there’s just us, and it makes my heart hurt. I need some reassurance that he isn’t going to disappear into thin air like when he’s on stage. This feels too good to last.

“Please don’t pull away from me again. I couldn’t take it,” I whisper, but I’m not sure if he hears me. He’s too lost now, moving in and out of me, pumping so hard it shakes the bed, his expression fierce. I feel myself tightening, building to something I’ve never felt before. Just as it hits me, the most intense orgasm I’ve ever felt, Jay’s movements start to slow.

“Shit, are you coming?” he rasps, staring down at me.

“Yes,” I breathe. “I think. I don’t know.”

“God. I can feel it. You are. Incredible.” He speaks in short, jagged sentences. The next thing I know, he’s coming, too, pouring himself into me. He kisses me long and deep, his chest falling into mine, his heavy weight surprisingly pleasant on top of me.

“That was…incredible,” he murmurs, all out of breath, his lips in my hair. His hand wanders down between my legs, finding my clit and rubbing slow, lazy circles. His come is all over me, but it doesn’t seem to bother him.

I laugh. “God, how are we ever going to clean ourselves up? We’re a mess. Everyone in the party is going to know.”

“So what? Fuck ’em.”

He rolls off me, his back hitting the mattress, and I snuggle into his side, tracing the lines of his tattoos, the six of hearts in particular.

“Tell me what this one means,” I whisper.

“Six hearts. The six people I care about most in the world,” he answers without hesitation, surprising me. I’d expected him to avoid revealing his secrets like he usually does. “Some of them aren’t in the world anymore, though,” he goes on sadly.

“Oh,” I breathe, wondering if I’m one of those six. I can’t be. He got the tattoo long before he ever knew who I was. The realisation saddens me. More than anything I’d like to be one of those six people.

“Can you have only six?” I ask.

He doesn’t say anything, just studies me. I hate it when he does this, because I don’t have the courage to ask again.

“You look sleepy. You’re gorgeous when you’re tired.”

“I am?”

“Yeah. So fucking gorgeous.” He leans down and kisses the side of my mouth, then pulls away. Getting up from the bed, he pulls on his jeans, commando style, then grabs his shirt.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m just going to get us some stuff to clean ourselves up with. Don’t worry. I’ll be back in a minute.”

He leaves, and I lie there, staring at the ceiling. I just had sex with Jay. My body knows it’s a fact, but my brain can’t work its way around the idea. I’ve never known sex could be like that. So intense you practically forget your own name.

The door opens, and I quickly pull the covers over me, startled. It’s just Jay, though, returning with a damp cloth.

“Come here.” He crooks his finger at me, and I crawl to where he’s perched himself on the edge of bed. His sexy eyes meet mine.

I let my thighs fall open, and he uses the cloth to clean me. My heart hammers at how he does it, so careful, so full of affection. It’s the weirdest thing, yet so completely heart-warming. While his attention is focused on my body, the alarming sensation of falling comes over me. It’s not exactly surprising. Jay is so easy to fall in love with, even if he can be difficult, like Jessie says.

I want to ask him why he called things off when he took me to the outdoor cinema, but I can’t. I’m too frightened of the answer he might give me. I want to stay in this moment, hearing his words over and over in my head and letting them be my truth.

Because you’re mine.

It might not be wise, but allowing myself to be his feels like everything I’ve ever wanted. I move to go in search of my clothes, but he stops me, getting them himself and dressing me. He slips on my knickers, then clips me into my bra.

“Decided to wear nothing but red tonight, huh?” he asks huskily, referring to my underwear set, which matches my dress.

“You like?”

A smirk, his eyes on the lace. “I do.”

“Good.”

“Was that the intention?”

“Perhaps.”

His grin makes me tremble. “Not that it doesn’t kill me to go back out to the party, but I’ve got to give Jessie her birthday cake. You want to help?”

“Sure,” I reply, standing and smoothing down my dress.

Later on, after we’ve presented Jessie with her cake and the party guests start to trickle out, I find Jessie and Michelle on the couch, Jessie whispering seductively into Michelle’s ear. I seriously would love to know what she’s saying right now. As soon as they see me approach, Jessie asks blatantly, “What in the fuck’s been happening with you and Jay?”