"First, do you think that I took advantage of the situation?"

"No," I said, wishing I could put the blame on him, but knowing that wasn’t the real root of my emotional state.

"Do you feel as if you took advantage of the situation?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "No," I said.

"Good, okay. Third question, are you mad because we slept together?"

I hadn’t expected this question.

"Yes," I said.

"Now we are getting somewhere," he said. "Can you explain why?"

"Come on Aiden," I said. "It was unprofessional. We should have known better. This could ruin everything for both of us."

He emitted a small laugh which prompted me to shoot him a furious glare.

"Of course we should have known better, Blair."

"What's that supposed to mean!" I said.

 "Hear me out okay?" he said still trying to calm me. "I’m attracted to you, and I’m pretty sure you’re attracted to me too. Sometimes when people are attracted to each other, sex happens! We are human beings. This is what we do! Don't try to over think it."

He turned down the road that would lead to my block. His words had struck a chord with me, and I didn’t want to discuss it any further. I crossed my arms and turned away from him looking out the window. I watched the trees glide by as we approached my neighborhood.

“Job over boys,” I mumbled to myself.

Once I got home I would only have about an hour to shower and get dressed for court before I would have to get out the door to make it on time. Aiden's lackadaisical response offended me to no end, but I couldn’t decide if it was because it clashed with my thinking or because his words held a little bit of truth. Though my headache had largely subsided, I didn’t feel as if I had my game face ready, and this wasn’t just about my pride.

I was mad at myself.

Remembering the faces of the family of the murder victim, and questioning the fate of the accused, I knew that if I screwed up today we could be sending an innocent man to jail for a long time.

"Blair," Aiden began but he had just pulled into a parking space in front of my building. I pulled away from him opening the car door. I had nothing more to say because I had to get ready.

"I'll see you at court,” I said and slammed the door shut.

I trotted up the stairs hearing him calling after me, having rolled the window down. I ignored him, keeping up my rushed pace until I stepped into the safety of my apartment. I heard Kelsey moving around in the kitchen already up. Great. Hearing the door she stepped out of the kitchen to greet me.

"I guess the date went well?" she said, making a show of looking at her wrist, pretending to check the time.

"I'm sorry Kelsey,” I said. "I can't talk now, I have to be at the court house in an hour and a half."

"Wow," she said. "This gives new meaning to the phrase, 'walk of shame'." I brushed past her to get to my room. "Oh, your mom called about an hour ago."

"I'll have to call her later,” I insisted as I grabbed a fresh suit from my closet and headed for the bathroom. "I really am running late."

"Blair," Kelsey said. "She's at the airport. She needs you to pick her up."

"Shit," I said stopping in my tracks.

I had completely forgotten that my mother had said she was coming for a visit. When the court date got moved I had been so consumed with Aiden's attention that it hadn’t even occurred to me that the new dates would interfere. I certainly didn’t have time to go and pick her up at the airport, but I didn't want to leave her stranded either.

I looked desperately at Kelsey, who looked the picture of calm in her plush bathrobe, towel wrapped around her head and sipping on a freshly brewed cup of coffee. I must have looked the polar opposite, still wearing my disheveled black dress from the night before, my hair looped in a throw away pony tail with ends sticking out every direction.

"Um, Kelsey..." I began.

She laughed and held up her hand with her palm towards me.

"Don't worry, Blair," she said. "I'll go pick up your mom. I'll explain everything,”

I exhaled in relief. Just before I stepped into the bathroom I called after Kelsey who had headed to her room to change.

"Don't explain too much!" I said.

I was met with the sound of her laughter. I shut the door and started the water, letting it warm up as I undressed. My mind began to wander over the events of the last twenty four hours. There was a point somewhere in which I could have changed the course of things.

I could have said, let's call it a night.

Maybe after dinner, instead of agreeing to a walk on the beach.

Maybe when I stumbled and almost twisted my ankle.

Maybe even after we had had our drink at his place.

I imaged that happening, exactly as it should have.

I would have set my glass down on the table and said. "We have an early morning. We should really call it a night."

Then he would have nodded, perhaps with a glimmer of regret on his face. But then he would have taken me home. Maybe, worst case scenario he would have kissed me good night, before I exited the car. I would have gotten a good night’s sleep. He and I would still be friends, (and only friends!), and most of all I would be fully prepared for this case.

And my mother, what did it say about me that I had forgotten about my very own mother. She would understand of course. I should have called her when the dates were rescheduled. I should have postponed our visit.

I stepped into the shower and let the warm water wash over me. I wish more than anything that I could turn back the clock and erase the events of last night.

Why had I not stepped away, I wondered.

Why had I agreed to a night cap?

I knew the answer.

I knew the truth.

Aiden had been right. I was attracted to him, despite myself.

It had been me who had kissed him. It had been me who had instigated the whole scene. I never stopped him. Even now thinking back over the events I realized that underneath my anger, underneath the fury and confusion ran a vein of a much more powerful emotion.

I wanted him.

I had only had one other boyfriend in my life, back in college, Alex Marsden. He and I had dated through college and into law school. There had been some fleeting talk about marriage even. Eventually he had broken up with me because he said that I was too consumed with my studies, and he suspected that nothing would change once I graduated. Until last night he had been the only man I had ever slept with.

In retrospect, I realized that Aiden was much more talented in this arena. Alex had been right. When he had broken up with me I thought I should have felt more upset than I did, but the truth was I had been mostly relieved. The nuances of trying to fit in a romantic relationship between classes and internships, made for a stressful dynamic. I had canceled more dinners with him than I had gone to. He had been right that I wasn’t in the right mindset for a serious relationship. I had tried to part ways amicably but he was too offended and we lost touch.

I thought for sure that I had answered the question of whether or not I would date, anyone ever. Yet here I was, years later having slept with my best friend from childhood, who had never so much as expressed a curious interest in me.

Where would I go from here?

At least the sex was better with Aiden than it had been with Alex, I thought as I stepped out of the shower, reaching for the towel. When faced with a situation such as this in the past, I would have normally talked it over with Aiden, but then again, back when Aiden was in my life I would not have been faced with such a situation.