The look on Aiden's face kept creeping back to the surface of my conscious mind. His eyes had changed into something I couldn’t recognize. The man who had stood in my living room just a few hours ago hadn’t been the same as the one I had fallen for.

Something had happened.

That part I couldn’t quite piece together. My mind whirled at the idea that he thought I had told them, but I knew with certainty that I hadn’t. I hadn't even told Kelsey until just a bit ago, after the fact.

But if I hadn’t told them, who had? I wondered.

I had run out of tears. All that remained was the bewilderment of what had happened. I mourned more for the loss of my friendship than for anything else. I hadn’t wanted a boyfriend, and it had taken much for me to admit any feelings.

Even more for me to act on them.

It made sense in some bizarre way that this should happen now. It had played out as if this were some cruel punch line to a large joke, a long con that culminated in nothing more than his acquisition of the job, and my complete emotional dismemberment. I remembered the kindness in the boy I had once known. I recalled the way in which we used to run off together, hiding in the tree house in his back yard with stacks of books that we would take turns reading.

I couldn’t decide if he meant what he said, or if he was still trying to break me somehow. Allegations of improper drug use would no doubt end his career. Was this his way of lashing out?

Finally sleep found me. Just before I drifted off one last comfort drifted across my mind. We had never had sex in this bed. I was glad that we hadn’t, or else I would never again be able to lie in it, much less sleep. I knew that I wanted nothing more to do with him ever again.

When I arrived the next morning nothing seemed to be amiss between the senior partners and Aiden. They exchanged pleasant small talk just as always. I glanced between them, trying to keep my confusion at bay.

The way he had laid into me the night before had led me the conclusion that Aiden's job was at stake beyond even the scope of just losing the full time job. Before I had much time to ruminate on it the bailiff came and collected us to go to the court room. I silently resolved to just get through the case, hear the verdict and get on with my life.

I thought briefly about my mother and felt saddened as she had remained best friends with Aiden's mother over all these years. I had no doubt that they would continue to remain so even if he and I were no longer speaking. They had years of practice after all while both of us were in school. She would be disappointed, no doubt, but ultimately this was my life, my decision and she would have to live with any decision that I made regarding my love life.

We arrived in the courtroom. Aiden would take the majority of the closing arguments, since I had opened. I refused to look at or speak to Aiden unless absolutely necessary. I could still catch moments in which Mr. Mahoney or Ms. Klein was looking us over, appraising our behavior.

Everything was already in place at this point, I decided. All I had to do was finish out the trial, and then one of us would be offered the full time job. After that I wouldn't have to see him anymore. I could move on and mend my heart and return to the days where Aiden remained a memory of someone I had once known a long time ago.

I felt as if the case had gone on for months, but it had only been a few weeks in actual court. Much had happened within that time. The one thing that I could count on with Aiden was that he remained just as professional as I. It seemed that we both had that in common throughout.

He nailed the closing arguments, bringing the attention of the jury back to the facts as we had presented them. That regardless of what the police had discovered upon arriving, the evidence filled in the gaps of assumption to show what really happened.

Under any other circumstances I would have been proud and congratulatory. But all I could see as he delivered his words, was a conniving manipulator. I wanted nothing more than the case to end. Much of the anger had dissipated, and all that remained was the deep cutting hurt and sadness.

The arguments came to a close, and the jury was ushered out for deliberation. Neither of us said anything to one another. I positioning my face to show professional distance. I had trained myself to avoid looking in his eyes as I believed this might have been too much for me.

Instead, I looked directly into the center of his forehead only when absolutely necessary. We had the option to stay during deliberation and none of us thought it would take very long. I wandered around the courtroom trying to find a way to pass the time.

The sadness threatened to overtake me at times, but I managed to keep myself distant enough as to keep that from happening.

Ms. Klein passed me in the hallway. I felt that I no longer had anything to hide. My anger kept me focused on the one thing I had left, the full time position. At this point I figured they had enough to have made a decision.

Another wave of hollow sadness came over me when I realized that I didn’t have Aiden to turn to, whether I won the job or not, he was gone. Still I veered back and forth between seething anger and mournful loss. He was the one who had hurt me and yet I wanted to find comfort. With him gone I had nowhere to find that comfort.

"Blair," Aiden's voice called me from down the hall four hours later. I stiffened at the sound of his voice. "The jury is back,” he said in a clipped voice.

No doubt one of the partners had sent him after me. He avoided my eyes just as much as I did his but held the door for me as I entered the courtroom. He followed a few feet behind me until we reached the defendants table.

Mahoney sat next to Ms. Klein with Darius Shaw between them and us. I tried to read the faces of the senior partners, but I suspected they had done this a time or two. They had small relaxed smiles, showing neither confidence nor retreat. I needed to learn how to implement that face.

Mr. Shaw kept his eyes down, but I could see his jaw muscles working as the jury slowly shuffled in each taking their seats. I watched their faces but they all proved just as unreadable as the lawyers. I wanted to stand up and scream just to relieve some of the tension in the room.

I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as the bailiff walked over to the foreman, a timid looking man with thinning hair and wire rimmed glasses. The juror stood and handed the slip of paper to the bailiff, who then walked across the courtroom once more to hand the paper to the judge. The judge put on his reading glasses.

The silence felt deafening.

It seemed as if every person in the audience had held their breath to hear the verdict. As the seconds ticked by I felt as if I was going to explode. The judge unfolded the paper and read over it before speaking. I dropped my eyes and closed my eyes unable to bear it any longer as he read the words.

"The members of the jury had come to a unanimous agreement, and based upon the evidence presented in this courtroom on the crime of first degree murder, they find the defendant Darius Shaw, not guilty."

Palpable relief swept over the room. I exhaled, nearly light headed, unaware that I had been holding my breath so long. The Shaw family behind us began to cry and exclaim with joy to have their brother, son, and father back. We stood and exchanged hugs and congratulatory handshakes. Mr. Shaw wiped tears out of his eyes as he reached to put his arms around Aiden and then me.

'Thank you!" he said. "Thank you, thank you!" He continued to repeat the words as he embraced each of us, also taking a moment to point towards the ceiling while whispering the same words.

I watched him step through the barrier into the awaiting arms of his family, and I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his little girl rushing to him as he crouched down to catch her up in his arms. That little girl had already lost her mother, and her tiny hands clasped together around his neck secure in the knowledge that she would not also lose her father.