“Yeah. So, please move,” he whispered against my hair.

“I can’t,” I told him.

It was the truth. There was no way I could move away from him. It felt too good to be in his arms. My conscience normally screamed at me to avoid situations like this with him, but it was quiet at the moment. It seemed that even my guilt couldn’t compete with this moment. Or maybe it was the fact that that we’d just spent the day together, and it was the best time I’d had in what seemed like forever.

He cursed under his breath as his arms tightened around me. “It feels so good to hold you. I’m a dirty bastard for thinking that. But to say it? That’s even worse.”

“It’s not dirty,” I said. “It feels right.”

“Yeah, I guess it does,” he said.

Before I could stop myself, I pressed my lips against his neck and kissed softly. Then, I did it again. The feel of my lips against his skin was out of this world. A very tiny part of me suddenly screamed to pull away, but I couldn’t make myself do it.

Things were already messed up in my life as it was. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t move forward with Ethan until after everything had been settled with Joey. Kissing Ethan right now would only make things worse for not only me, but for Ethan as well.

My lips didn’t seem to get the message as they continued to press against his skin. My tongue slipped through my lips without my consent and tasted him. Ethan’s entire body tensed as I continued my exploration of his skin. Taking the hint, I finally pulled away. His arms refused to let me go though. I was trapped in his embrace, but it didn’t bother me. It felt too right to be in his arms.

“I need to let you go,” he whispered.

I stared up at him. There was sadness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

Without thinking, I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. It was a small kiss, insignificant and practically nonexistent. But it changed everything. In that moment, I’d crossed a line we’d drawn since that night I kissed him and realized how I really felt about him, a line I’d been tiptoeing for what seemed like forever.

I pulled away, my lips tingling with the memory of his.

“Oh God, I’m sorry,” I whispered.

If I’d thought he was tense before, I was wrong. His body turned to stone before me, his arms still locked around me.

“Ethan?” I asked softly. When he didn’t speak, I said his name again, “Ethan?”

Nothing.

“I’m so sorry.”

Dread filled me as I took him in. His eyes were pointed upward at the ceiling, refusing to look at me.

“Ethan? Please forgive me. I’m so sorry. Don’t hate me.”

That seemed to pull him from his trance. “Hate you? I don’t hate you.”

“But you’re angry,” I said. “You’re like stone right now.”

He took a deep breath and pulled me closer. “It’s not because I hate you.”

“Then, what is it?” I asked.

“It’s taking everything in me not to take you back to my bedroom right now and strip you naked.”

My stomach churned with a sudden warmth that told me we were in a dangerous situation. His words alone had me yearning for something more. I couldn’t though.

Joey and I might be separated, but we were still married. I knew he was still trying to convince me to stay with him, but there was no doubt in my mind that I would resist his pleas.

So, where did that leave me? In the arms of a man I wanted, a man I wanted so desperately in this moment that I felt that I might combust, but I wasn’t sure I could have him.

“I want you, but I don’t want to cheat.” I sighed. “I don’t even know if it would be considered cheating. I’m sure Joey would think so.”

“Don’t bring him into this moment,” Ethan said. He released me and took a step back. “Fuck. Why did you have to say his name?”

“I’m sorry.” It seemed I’d kept saying that over and over.

“It’s not your fault.” He rubbed his eyes with one hand, as if trying to get rid of a headache. “None of this is your fault.”

He reached out and pulled me to him, fiercely hugging me. I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back. We stood like that for what seemed like hours, so wrapped up in each other that it felt as if we were the only two people in the world.

“I want you so bad that it physically hurts,” he said as he rested his chin on my head.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make things harder for you.”

I started to pull away, but he wouldn’t release me.

“Just being near you makes things harder. This”—he squeezed me—“is like a reprieve. I can touch you, feel your body against mine, and that’s more than I could have ever expected.”

He kissed the top of my head, and then he finally released me. I took a step back, trying to find my bearings.

“I love you,” he said suddenly, so suddenly that I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right.

“What?” I whispered.

“I love you.” He looked as if saying the words were causing him actual pain. “I shouldn’t say that to you, I know that, but I can’t not say it either. I’m too far into this with you. I need you to understand that I’m not going anywhere, Caley. I’m going to wait right here until you’re ready to move on with your life. When you do, it’s going to be with me. I’m going to teach you what life is really supposed to be like. I’m going to show you what it’s like to be loved.”

Tears filled my eyes as I stared at this man, who was pouring his heart out to me. He was so young, barely older than I was when I had fallen in love with Joey, but this was different. The emotions playing on his face, his tone…everything was different. I knew without a doubt that Ethan meant what he was saying.

I stepped forward and reached up to cup his jaw. “Thank you, Ethan. Thank you so much.”

This time, I wasn’t the one to initiate the kiss. Instead, he lowered his head and searched out my lips with his. The kiss was gentle at first but grew in intensity to a point where I couldn’t breathe. His lips crushed against mine, making me dizzy with need.

I bit down on his bottom lip, and he sucked in a breath, his grip on me tightening. His tongue darted between my lips, tasting me, as I clung to his shoulders.

Ethan pulled away. “You have to make me stop.”

“I can’t,” I whispered before pulling him back to me and kissing him again.

“If we don’t, there’s no going back.” He pulled away. He put his fingers under my chin and forced me to look up at him. “Can you live with that?”

“I…I don’t know,” I said.

“If you can’t live with it, then I need you to go. I won’t let your guilt turn something perfect into something you’ll regret.”

“No matter how much guilt I might feel, I wouldn’t ever regret it,” I told him.

He shook his head. “There should be no guilt in your heart at all.”

He ran his fingers over my trembling lips. I closed my eyes, my heart and my mind at war with each other.

“Don’t leave me, please. Don’t walk out that door and take this moment away from us. The guilt you feel is for a man who has never loved you, not the way I do. Don’t let him destroy this like he has destroyed everything else in your life.”

“I’m scared,” I told him, as if he didn’t already know that.

He could clearly see the way my body was trembling.

“Don’t be.” He reached down and grabbed my hand. “Come with me. Let me show you what love is supposed to be like.”

Caley hesitated for a moment, but then she finally started moving. I pulled her along, wondering if I was crazy for doing this. It could end badly for both of us.

Was I really willing to take that chance? What if I lost her because I couldn’t wait a few more weeks or maybe a few more months at most?