But was she?

She’s never said she loves you.

Turning, he headed back to the studio, his heart in his throat.

Jesus, he felt like a sap.

“Baz. Hey, Baz, wait up.”

His hand on the door to the studio, Baz turned to find Nik nearly plastered against his back. How the hell had Nik snuck up on him like that?

Nik’s gaze pierced straight to Baz’s and held. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. What’s up?”

Nik didn’t look like he was going to let him off the hook. There was a time he wouldn’t have let up until he knew exactly what Baz was thinking.

Now his eyes narrowed until they were only a glint of ice blue. Then he took a breath and released it on a sigh.

“I talked to Tom. We’ve got a release date in July which means we have to have the album finished by end of May.”

“You know that’s not gonna be a problem. We’ve got enough material for two albums and we’ve only got one more song to record and we can get that done today.” At least he’d been counting on getting it done today so he could spend some time with Tru. “We all know this is some of the best work we’ve ever done. We’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Are you trying to reassure yourself or me?”

“What do you mean?”

Nik sighed hard. “Never mind. Fuck it. I’ve got a track to record.”

Nik went to push past him but Baz grabbed his arm, determined to get to the bottom of this. “Nikky, what the fuck is going on?”

Nik didn’t pull away. He looked at Baz’s hand on his arm, then looked up into Baz’s eyes. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit. Damn it. Come on, tell me—”

“Baz.” Nik’s voice was lethally sharp. “Let it go for now. Seriously. Let me get these vocal tracks finished. Then we’ll talk. I promise.”

Baz wanted to press, wanted to shake whatever the fuck was going on with Nik out of him. Then again, maybe he didn’t want to know. That damn kiss still hung between them even if they’d agreed not to talk about it. And maybe that was for the best.

When did you start sticking your head in your ass?

He kept his hand on Nik’s arm. “No more bullshit. You and me, we gotta figure this shit out. We’ve gotta be back on the same wavelength. When you and I are onstage, we’ve gotta be a united front. What the hell happened between us? Do you know? Because I don’t have the first fucking clue and I wish to hell you’d tell me.”

“Fine. You want me to tell you what happened? You nearly fucking died.” His voice rose but wasn’t quite at screaming level yet. “And I didn’t know until months later. You’ve been the only person in my life I’ve ever been able to count on. Do you know that? Do you know what that means to me? I’m not sure you do. And I don’t think you ever will.”

Shit, this was bad. “I do know that. And I’m not going anywhere. You gotta trust that.”

Nik shook his head. “I trust you, Baz. I’m just not sure we can ever be the way we were. You’ve got yourself back on track and that’s great. It’s amazing and I’m happy for you. Tru’s great. The music you made for Greg’s film is fucking incredible. I’ve never heard anything like it. But we can’t go back and be like it was before. Everything dies, right?”

Nik idolized Springsteen and Baz knew exactly why he’d used that lyric from “Atlantic City.” Because the rest of that line held out hope.

“Yeah. But everything comes back. Right?”

“Yeah. I guess.” He shrugged. “I gotta figure some shit out on my own but everything’ll be okay. Eventually.”

It’s what Baz had always told Nik when things had gotten bad when they were kids. Baz had always promised Nik they’d be fine if they just stuck together. And Baz had broken that promise.

First, by almost dying of an overdose. And now there was Tru . . .

Shit. Was that part of this?

He seriously hoped not. Because he wasn’t giving her up.

Chapter Thirteen

“Jesus, Baz. I can’t believe that after all these years, you still trip over that damn chord change.”

Nik had a smile on his face that made something loosen in Baz’s chest and he smiled back while giving Nik the finger.

“Don’t worry. When I have to, I’ll get it right.”

“Boys, boys, no fucking around now. We’ve got two more songs to rehearse. Then we can call it a night and take a few days off.” Trev shook out his hands and rotated his neck before grabbing his bass and curving his fingers around it again. “And then I’m not gonna look at your ugly faces for at least twenty-four hours.”

“Jesus, what are you? Eighty? You sound like my fucking grandmother.” Jase threw a pick at Trev, who responded by tossing a nearby water bottle at his head. “But even she doesn’t bitch as much as you guys do.”

As they continued to toss insults back and forth, Baz soaked up the atmosphere.

Jesus, he’d missed this. He’d missed the guys. He hadn’t realized how much until they’d all been together in a confined space for weeks on end. First in the studio and now here. This rehearsal space was state-of-the-art amazing and they’d nailed down most of their set list in the past week.

They meshed liked they hadn’t been apart for almost a year.

But he couldn’t wait to get back to Tru. They still hadn’t talked about their relationship and what happened when he went on tour. He’d bailed on that conversation a week ago and had practically fucked them both comatose instead.

He’d decided to drive back to Philly tonight to see her. They’d talked a couple of times since he’d been up here. All calls he’d initiated. And every time they talked, he heard the distance between them grow. But there was nothing he could do about that.

He’d made a commitment to his band members, that he’d be here and he’d be better than he’d been before. That he’d fix what he’d broken.

But he didn’t want to lose Tru in the process.

“Baz, you still with us?”

He turned to give Zach the finger, who grinned back and picked up his sticks again.

“Alright, assholes,” Nik stood at the mic and grinned at him. “Let’s get this done.”

*   *   *

“Hey, babe. How’s it going?”

Tru turned with a gasp, her bag falling to the ground as she lost her grip on it. “Sebastian. What are you doing here?”

His mouth quirked in a rueful smile. “I kinda figured that’d be obvious, since I’m standing in your doorway.”

She admitted it’d been a stupid question, but she hadn’t seen him in six days. Six long days during which she’d convinced herself they were over.

“I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Yeah, I guess I deserve that. I should’ve called. Sorry. So, are you leaving? Want to get some dinner?”

Yes, she wanted to get dinner. It’d been a long week. She’d been busy with last-minute details for the release of Greg’s film all day and she’d missed lunch, so now she was starving. She’d had plans to head home, grab something to eat, then take a hot bath and relax with a glass of wine.

She’d much rather take Sebastian home with her, pick up a pizza, and spend the rest of the night having sex.

But she knew that was only prolonging her misery. She’d had a lot of time to think this past week and she knew what she needed to do.

Didn’t make it any less painful.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He didn’t look surprised by her response. He almost looked like he’d been expecting it. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back against the doorjamb.

“And why’s that?”

Oh, hell. Her heart beat like one of Zach’s drum fills as she tried to catch her breath. She wanted to cave and go to dinner with him, spend the night with him.