He looks at me with flared nostrils and roars, his fists hanging down.
“What is wrong with you?”
Oh, this is rich. He is morphing into a Tolkien creature and I’m the freak? I am usually a calm, rational agent. It’s probably not apparent based on this last week, but I am. But right now, with my newly shaved legs and my lacy knickers on, after practicing his name all day in front of a stupid fan, I want to scratch his eyes out.
“There’s nothing wrong with me, Mr. Hale. However, based on your behavior these last two days, may I suggest the very real possibility that there is something seriously wrong with you? I strongly recommend that you visit a psychiatrist, sir, and soon, before you become a menace on the streets of Portland and incinerate us all for exercising our right as free human beings to go wherever we bloody well please,” I hiss, feeling a kindred spirit with Medusa because he has turned to stone.
Before I can draw a breath, he takes the two steps between us and his mouth closes in on mine, his hands like a vise around my face.
The force of his kiss slams me against the wall and makes me gasp. His lips mold with mine, and his tongue is dancing inside my mouth. My knees shake a little. As if he knows, one of his hands leaves my face, trails down my body and rests at the small of my back, arching me against him and supporting all my weight. I move my tongue shyly around his. I taste cinnamon and something else, something Aiden. My blood ignites, and another gasp escapes me. At the sound, he presses his hips against me, and his long fingers reach into my hair. He pulls my head back until my mouth opens wider. Our tongues move together, and his anger changes to desperation and then to a slower rhythm that I can follow. Of their own accord, my arms reach up around his neck and my fingers knot in his hair. He tenses, so I try to let go but he draws me closer until there is no more space left. I feel every line of his body against mine. His teeth graze my bottom lip. It takes me a moment to realize that the moan I hear is coming from me. He pulls away, his breathing harsh and labored.
“Impossible woman,” he growls.
I open my eyes. His sapphire depths are blazing. Without his arm supporting me, my knees go back to shaky and weak. Then it dawns on me. Bloody hell, I’ve just been kissed by Aiden Hale! And what a kiss it was. I’ll be the first to admit I don’t have much experience with such things, but I am willing to bet my supplement’s formula that no girl, anywhere, has been kissed like this. I pinch myself discreetly to make sure I’m awake. Yes, it was real. My lips are tingling.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks, his breathing now back in control. Apparently, we are not going to talk about it. That’s good. What if his next words end this? And what is there to say regardless? By some miracle, he wants me at some level, and I want him at all levels. That’s good enough for now. Good enough for forever for someone like me.
It takes me a while to formulate a thought, let alone an answer. Even then, all I can manage is to nod and pick up my purse.
He takes my hand and we step out in the first sunny morning of Portland’s spring.
Chapter Fifteen
Garden of Aiden
Aiden opens the door of a gunmetal Aston Martin for me. Maybe he likes British things. I take the seat as gingerly as possible, feeling oddly adrift when he lets go of my hand. He lopes around the car, gets in and starts driving. He is abruptly tense. His eyes darken as he scans the street with sniper vigilance. The tension of his shoulders snaps back around him like an elastic band. I want to ask why but I’m afraid of the answer.
He switches on the sound system and Lucio Dalla’s “Caruso” fills the car. What are the chances?
“Are you all right?” Aiden asks. It must have shown on my face.
“Yes. It’s just the song. My parents loved it.” I feel strangely as though they just gave me a blessing.
“I can change it if it’s too much.” He is looking at me like I might break.
“No, I like it. They must be happy up there. Besides, I love the words.”
He studies me for an instant, like he is trying to break a code. “What do you love about them?”
I shrug. “I guess how the two refuse to say goodbye even in the end.”
“There would be better things to do in the end.” He nods, looking back at the road. The looming deadline suddenly takes the shape of a harpy, destroying every warm tingle his kiss left behind.
“So, you went to my graduation?” I ask to distract myself from the burning in my throat.
He smirks. “So it would seem.”
“Why?”
He blows out a gusty sigh. “I didn’t want you to be alone at one of your life’s biggest moments.” He shakes his head as if the thought itself is an aberration.
It’s one of the sweetest things he has said. My fingers itch to touch his face, so I knot them together lest they move on their own.
“Thank you. That was very thoughtful. And it explains why you were so upset. Alas, not a madman after all.”
He huffs as if he really thinks he is a madman. “Elisa, why didn’t you go?” The anger is gone now. All that’s left behind is something like concern. Is that it? He’s worried about me? Under that theory, his behavior these last few days takes on a different meaning.
I stare out of the window, repressing a sob for finding this so late in the game. End it now or end it later? Which would hurt less? The painful clenching in my stomach says plainly that either option is hideous. And if I have so little time left, would it be such a crime to hold on to him a little longer? Maybe just for today?
“Mr. Hale—” I stop talking because he reaches for my chin with his long fingers and turns my face toward him.
“Say my name.” His voice is low and rugged but his eyes are soft.
“Aiden,” I whisper. Instantly, he becomes more real, urging me to nurse the fantasy of him and me a little longer. “Aiden, can we agree to something?”
He frowns. “It depends on what it is.”
“Can we agree that, at least for today, we implement an embargo?”
His eyebrows knit together. “An embargo? Embargo on what?”
“On secrets. I share none of mine, and you share none of yours. A free pass to us both, but everything else is on the table.” I keep my voice soft to mask the hideousness inside.
He veers sharply to the right and slams the brakes. The car behind us honks and swerves around, the driver flipping us off. Aiden’s posture straightens, his muscles rise and he turns his body to face me.
“Elisa, are you in trouble? Because if you are, you should tell me. I can help you. There’s no reason for you to suffer through whatever it is alone.”
How can I share this pain and not forge a bond with him? And then where do I go from there? If you thought you had lost everything only to find out there was a lot more to lose, would you risk it? Or would you play it safe and try to survive?
“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind. So do we have a deal?” I look him in the eye, trying to hold my face together.
“No, goddamn it, we don’t have a deal.” He looks around wildly. For the first time I notice a whisper of helplessness in his eyes. Unable to resist, I reach slowly to caress his cheek so that he sees my intention. With his force field around him, he may need the warning.
“It’s nothing for you to worry about. I’m not in danger. Let’s just try it. Surely the private part of you finds that appealing too?”
He shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and his index finger, drawing a deep breath.
“As if your paintings and brain were not enough to drive any man insane, now you have thrown this into the mix. But I suppose I’m in a better position to help you if I strike this deal than if I don’t. So, yes, we have an embargo on sharing. For today.” He shakes his head as if he cannot believe this himself.