Logan clutched my hips harder. His fingertips pushed against my bones and his thumbs pressed into my skin, all the while his cock was filling me.

Although this fuck wasn’t meant to be about pleasure, it still felt delicious.

Solace took over.

Water made us slippery.

Still, we fucked.

Wanting to connect with him even more, I reached back to wrap an arm around his neck and I held him as tight as I could. He kissed my neck and moved at his own pace. I shifted my hips to meet each and every one of his thrusts. Before I knew it, my stomach was practically flat against the wall and both my arms were wrapped around his neck. One of his hands was bracing the wall while the other began to rub my clit without mercy.

As I embraced him with everything I had to give, he anchored me, giving me his strength. Together we formed a perfectly aligned union in the face of despair.

His breath quickly became ragged and he ground his hips into me as he took up the pace. Harder. Faster. Wilder. He wasn’t rough, though. He moved at a tempo that helped ease his pain and I gave in to that. When I felt my body approaching the edge, I deliberately held myself back, wanting this to be for him.

“Let yourself go,” he demanded, his thumb rubbing circles around my clit.

“No,” I whispered.

“I need this,” he insisted.

So I did. I gave it up for him. My clit was pulsing out of control under his touch and his words were all I needed. I went tumbling into a climax fierce enough I thought I could see the heavens. My screams were loud. Filled with sorrow for everything we’d both lost.

Behind me, Logan let out a series of low groans filled with the same I was certain.

And very unexpectedly we came together. In the shower. In his time of need.

A heartbeat later he turned me around.

Needing stability, my hands went for his biceps, where the muscles bunched and tightened. Fingers gripping the powerful force that he was, I realized something. Beyond being long and lean and physically strong, Logan also had a strong mind and soul. It felt good to remind myself of that—that his strength wasn’t only physical in nature.

He’d get through this.

We’d get through this—together.

Whatever it took.

When he was ready, he eased himself back and turned the water off. This time he took my hand and led me out of the shower. We dried ourselves in silence and when I went to tuck my towel inside itself to hold against my body, he finished the job for me.

His eyes fluttered closed, then opened to meet mine. “Thank you for being here for me, but if all this craziness is too much for you I understand. I wouldn’t blame you if you walked away right now, because fuck knows you should be running.”

There was no hesitation in my reply. I took his face in my hands. “I’m not going anywhere that isn’t next to you.”

His eyes remained on mine, as if he were waiting for me to change my mind.

I wouldn’t.

Or maybe he was waiting for me to include a “but.”

There wouldn’t be one.

Ever.

DAY 21

LOGAN

Everything about this was wrong.

And I knew it.

We were in between viewing hours at my grandfather’s wake, for fuck’s sake.

Yet, I couldn’t resist her. She was like a drug, an addiction, and being with her was the only way I could keep from spiraling out of control right now. I needed Elle in a way I couldn’t explain. It was like she was the glue keeping me together.

And she knew it.

She had followed me into the bathroom. Locked the door behind her. Then kicked her shoes off. She didn’t have to say a word. I knew why she was in here. I should have sent her away.

A gentleman would have.

We already knew—I wasn’t one.

Just looking at her eased the tension inside me right away.

“Logan, talk to me,” she whispered.

I took a step back until I hit the sink. “Elle, I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes.”

I’d just found my father out in the parking lot with some guy from the neighborhood and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s in his hand. He was about to shove the neck in his mouth when I saw him. As soon as he saw me he started shaking so much, he dropped the bottle.

“Don’t, Pop,” I’d said. “Don’t do this. Killian wanted you to be whole. That’s why he did what he did. Don’t make it all for naught.”

“Sean,” my uncle Hunter’s voice boomed. “That’s not what Dad would want.”

I jerked my head around.

Uncle Hunter, my father’s older brother, had moved to New York to get away from the shadow of the Irish Mob. He approached my old man. “Let me take you home for an hour,” he said, and then he looked at me. “I need to have a talk with him and then I’ll bring him back at five for the final viewing hours. Will you stay here until I get back?”

Irish tradition mandated that the body of the deceased not be left alone until burial. It was just one of many traditions that didn’t make much sense. Still, I stayed at the funeral home.

My old man hadn’t taken a drink, but I knew he was close to losing his months of sobriety. The thought cut me like a knife. He had been on his way to living a life free of addiction. I was going to be the one to cut the ties that bound him to Patrick as soon as I figured the whole cluster-fuck situation out. Killian didn’t have to go and do what he’d done. And besides, my old man wasn’t the one who should feel the blame for what Killian had chosen to do, I should. I was the one who started this whole fucked-up thing.

I was the fuck-up.

“Logan,” Elle said, pulling me back. “I know you’ll be fine but I want to be here for you. To help.”

Feeling every sound she made in my cock, I stepped closer to claim her mouth. I knew this was not the place to be doing it, but I needed a hit of something to take the edge off and she was it.

Still, I should have fought my animalistic need. I just couldn’t. My willpower felt as drained as my life.

Our open mouths came together almost savagely and my tongue thrust into her mouth the instant we made contact. This kiss was short, hard, and anything but elegant.

Five seconds or more passed and then she unzipped my pants and started to slide down my body, taking my pants with her.

Again, I should have stopped her. “Elle,” I groaned, trying to protest.

She ignored me and didn’t stop until her face met my cock. By then it was too late to stop her, because I wanted nothing more than to feel her warm mouth on my throbbing dick.

My pants were at my ankles. “Oh, fuck.”

She was licking me like a lollipop from the tip of my cock, which was soaked in pre-cum, all the way to my balls, and then she took me in her mouth as much as she could.

My hands went to her hair, and even though it was pulled back neatly, I still had to hold on to her.

Sounds left my mouth that I tried to hush but couldn’t.

Her hands were jerking me off fast, her lips gliding up and down at the same time.

I thought about pulling her up, lifting her dress, and plunging deep inside her, but I couldn’t move.

Teeth slid, lips sucked, tongue licked, and I let myself go in the pleasure of it all. Let all the shit around me fade away.

When my toes clenched inside my shoes, I had held on to sanity for as long as I could. My thumb was in her mouth and I lifted her chin. “If you want to stop, now is the time.”

She knew what I meant. I was going to come in her mouth if she didn’t stop and if she didn’t want that, she had to stop now.

She didn’t.

My thrusts were frantic. This was it. What I needed. It felt so incredible, and everything that was fucked up around me was gone. “That’s it. Don’t stop. Oh fuck, don’t stop.”

There was no stopping. Her hands were on my ass now, her back arched, and her mouth working magic on me.