I shake my head.

I feel him approaching but keep my eyes on my toes. He sits on the bed and takes my hand in his. Still nothing.

“Raven...I understand your need to check out. I do. But I can’t stand to see you like this anymore. Tell me, what can I do to make it better?”

“Break...” My voice catches so I clear my throat and raise my eyes to his. “Break up with me.”

“What?” His brows furrow in disbelief.

“Break up with me. Kick me out. Go back to a life where you don’t have to deal with me and my shit. Be...” I feel the tears coming on and raise my eyes to the ceiling, blinking to try and hold them back. “Be happy.”

“I’m not doing that, Raven. I can’t do that. I told you we’d get through this together, and we will.”

“Why? I’ve done nothing but fuck up your life. God knows what you’re out there doing trying to find this guy. Babysitting me is probably affecting your businesses, and who knows when was the last time you had sex –”

“Stop it.”

My eyes snap to his face at the gruffness of his voice. That’s the harshest he’s spoken to me in a long time.

“Just stop it. I’m not doing anything I haven’t done before. How do you think I got the name ‘Reaper’? I kill people, Raven. I got so fucking good at it that everyone saw fit to give me the name that personifies death. I’m not the monster under the bed. Monsters check under their beds for me.” He closes his eyes, trying to rein in his anger but when he opens them, it’s still there. “My businesses are fine. That’s why I hire people. And don’t even mention sex to me. That’s the last thing on my mind right now.”

That was a stupid thing for me to say. Why would sex be on his mind? It’s not like I’m at my most desirable. He slides his palm to the back of my neck, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. When he opens them, the anger is gone.

“You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care about you. I’m going to find this guy and I’m going to help you through this, no matter what. We’ll come out on the other side and move on with our lives. You want me to be happy? Make me happy, because I won’t be if I don’t have you.”

“Gage...”

There’s no holding them back now. Tears stream down my cheeks as his words flow through me. After everything, he still thinks I can make him happy. How can I when I’m a miserable shell of the girl I once was? Is it even possible to be her again?

I go rigid as he presses a gentle kiss to my lips. Since I was in the hospital, all I’ve gotten are forehead or cheek kisses. I don’t even know how to respond to his lips on mine. He doesn’t push me, though, only kissing my forehead before heading to the bathroom. Stopping in the doorway, he turns to me.

“You’re not going anywhere, Raven...and neither am I.”

I stare at the closed bathroom door and contemplate his words. He thinks we can get through this and be like we were before. That’s never going to happen. Things will never be the same between us.

There’s a knock at the door and I turn my attention there. Usually, I’d let it go unanswered. They’d get the message that Gage isn’t here or is unavailable and leave after a while. This time, though, I answer it. Tek steps back, obviously a little shocked. He recovers quickly and gives me a big smile.

“It’s been too long since I’ve seen that beautiful face.”

“Hi, Tek.” I give him a weak smile. “He’s in the shower. You want to come in and wait?”

Again, he’s taken aback, but he nods and steps past me. He grabs the chair in the corner, turns it backward, and straddles it.

“How are you, baby girl?”

“Okay, I guess. What have you been up to?”

“Oh, you know...hacking into systems I shouldn’t be. Same ol’ same ol’.”

I climb back into bed, careful not to flash him. Panties and one of Gage’s T-shirts have become my permanent wardrobe. Gage moved all my stuff from Lonnie’s a while back, but it was pointless. I haven’t worn any of my clothes. My kindle and MP3 player sit unused. He bought me a new phone because the guy who attacked me smashed mine to pieces, but it also sits idly on the nightstand. I haven’t even turned it on. He set up my art equipment in a corner of the room, but that’s been untouched, too.

Tek keeps a close eye on me, no doubt gauging my mood. “How’s your shoulder?” he asks.

“Better.”

“Good.” He taps his fingers on the chair, filling the awkward silence.

I can tell he doesn’t know which way to tread with me. I’m about to try and put him at ease when Gage steps out of the bathroom. He’s wearing a pair of those sexy boxers I love, so I wait for the flutter in my belly, the clenching of my muscles, but nothing happens. I sigh deeply and look away. I can tell he’s shocked to see Tek, but he doesn’t comment.

“You got something?” he addresses Tek.

“Yeah. But we gotta move fast. Razor already left with the guys. Told him where to meet up.”

“Five minutes.”

“Got it.” He springs out of the chair and heads for the door. “See you around, baby girl.”

“Bye, Tek.”

Gage moves to his closet and begins pulling out clothes – black jeans, black shirt, and black shoes. When he slides on his cut and covers it with a black hoodie, I know he’s off to what he says he does best. Gage may have walked out of the bathroom, but it’s Reaper leaving the clubhouse tonight. He grabs a black duffel bag out of the closet and drops it on the bed.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, but don’t wait up.”

Noticing the apprehension in my eyes, he takes both my hands in his, and kisses my knuckles.

“Be careful,” I whisper.

“I will. The prospects will be here if you need anything.”

Then, he’s gone. Anxiety eats away at me until I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be alone right now. I pull on a pair of his boxers and head out to find the prospects. The blonde trick who was all up on Gage is behind the bar. She watches me with disdain as I pass, but I ignore her. Ron and Booker are on the couch smoking, two Hounds hanging off them. When Ron sees me approaching, he shoos away the one next to him. I raise a brow at him, wondering what Chrissy would do with this bit of information. Then again, they may not even be together anymore. Some best friend I am. Gage gives me messages from her, but I haven’t spoken to her. Not even a damn text. I need to fix that.

“Hi,” I say as I stand before him awkwardly.

“Hey.”

I really don’t know what else to say to him, but he instantly puts me at ease with an outstretched hand. I curl up next to him and he places his arm around my shoulder. As I settle into his embrace, he offers me his joint. I take a long, hard look at it and think why not? Maybe it will give me a little vacation from my own head.

I accept it, place it between my lips, and take a deep puff.

***Gage***

Raven consumes my thoughts as we ride. We finally tracked down the man responsible for the drug they used on her. They call it Dutch Wife, after a fucking sex doll. After all, that’s essentially what it does – turns a woman into a human sex doll. My hands tighten on the handle bars as my anger rises. Not a minute goes by that I don’t think about her lying there helpless, being used and abused. With all my talk of keeping her safe, I didn’t. I told her my name would protect her and it did the opposite. It got her hurt. I got her hurt. The least I can do is find the people responsible and make them pay. I have The Pharmacist in my sights, and there’s no way he’s living to see another sunrise.

Tek and I meet up with the others at the rendezvous point and I hop off my bike. I give Razor a chin lift and he walks up to me.

“Scoped it out. Seems to be a warehouse. Could be a lab, too, with the smell coming out of it. Got two men on the perimeter, two loading a truck, and the truck driver. Don’t know how many on the inside, but your guy went in fifteen minutes ago.”