CHAPTER 9

***Gage***

Fuck, I’m tired. All this running around plus no sleep is finally catching up to me. Atlanta was a total bust. The guys we found there didn’t know much. They weren’t even expecting a shipment of Dutch Wife. The guy in charge said the drug was still in its development stage and wasn’t ready for distribution. How did a drug that’s not even on the streets yet end up in Raven’s system? This puts me at a dead end, unless Tek can get into Briggs’ files. He’s been working on that laptop all day and I haven’t heard a peep out of him.

I drop my duffel in the closet and begin to undress. I better take a shower before I find Raven. Ron said the girls have been helping Chopper and Nita in the kitchen. At least she’s not cooped up in here. That’s a step forward. While looking for something to wear, I notice dresses next to my shirts. I let the material of one slip through my fingers. I like seeing them there. I like having her in my space. Right now, it may not be the way I pictured it would be, but it feels good. It feels right.

I head into the shower and find her waiting for me in the bedroom when I get out. She’s obviously on edge, pacing and chewing on her thumbnail.

“You’re back.”

“Yeah. I was gonna come find you after –”

“How’d it go? What happened?”

I walk to the closet, unable to look her in the eyes. “Not much. There was nothing there.”

“Nothing? What do you mean ‘nothing’?

Turning to face her, I hang my head in disappointment. “I’m sorry, Raven. It was a dead end.”

She starts to hyperventilate. Fuck.

“Dead end? You promised me you’d find him. You promised!”

I move toward her but she pulls away in anger, staring daggers at me.

“What have you been doing all this time? This guy could be in Timbuktu by now for all we know. It’s been over a month and all you can tell me is that you hit a dead end?”

“Lower your voice.”

“I will not lower my voice!” she screams.

“You’re pissed, I get it. But so am I, and I’m not shouting at you.”

“What do you have to be angry about? That you won’t be my first anymore?”

That stung. I know it’s her anger talking, but it doesn’t hurt any less. “I’m pissed because it’s my fault!” I shout. “I’m the reason this happened to you!”

“You keep saying that. Why? What did you do? What do you know that I don’t?”

“I promised you I’d protect you and I didn’t. You got hurt because some motherfucker thought it was the best way to hurt me. You may have been the one attacked, but I have to live with the fact that it happened on my watch and I couldn’t stop it.”

“Bullshit!”

“You think this is about sex?” I ask. “I could have had you at the snap of my fingers if I wanted to. How many times did you beg me to fuck you, huh? You were practically throwing your pussy at me.”

Her expression changes. That’s when I know I’ve fucked up. She narrows her eyes and her body begins to vibrate. Her fingers curl into fists at her sides and she stomps her foot. Without warning, she launches herself at me with a scream.

“Motherfucker!”

She lets loose, pummeling my chest with her fists. I try to grab her hands without hurting her but she starts to kick, too.

“How dare you! How could you say that?”

I finally manage to subdue her, turning her around and pulling her against me. She squirms, trying to get away.

“Let me go. Don’t touch me, you bastard!”

“Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, asshole. Would you rather I throw my pussy at you?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry, babe.”

“You meant it and you can’t take it back.”

“I’m going to let you go, but you have to promise you won’t start hitting me again.”

“I’m not promising anything, fuck boy. Let me the fuck go.”

Boy, she can really come up with insults when she’s ticked off. I’ve gone from bastard to asshole to fuck boy in the space of a few seconds.

“Raven, stop.” She goes still in my arms. “I’m going to let you go now, okay?”

She doesn’t answer, but I take her silence for consent. I slowly release my hold on her and she pulls away as soon as she’s able to. She’s back to staring at me again like she wants to kill me. She has all this pent-up anger and I think I know a way to help her release it.

“I have an idea,” I tell her. “Will you go somewhere with me?”

“Why would I go anywhere with you?” She crosses her arms on her chest.

“I promise it’ll be good for you.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Babe…please.”

“Fine.” She gives me a dirty look then cuts her eyes. “I’ll go, but I won’t like it.”

I finish getting dressed then lead her out to the Mustang. She drags her feet the entire way then stares out the window once we’re in the car. Trying to get back on her good side, I stop at Sweet Treats and buy her the strawberry cheese pastries she loves. She takes the container with a sideways glance then goes back to ignoring me while she eats. I leave her to her thoughts because I don’t want to set her off again. When we arrive at our destination, I pull into a parking spot and open her door, watching as she steps out reluctantly.

“Why did you bring me here?”

“You’ll see.”

I try to take her hand but she brushes me off, so I give her some space. After opening the door, I step inside and turn on the lights before I allow her in. She looks around in confusion, arms folded on her chest once more.

“I repeat, why did you bring me here?”

It’s a gun store. Razor’s, to be exact. All the members get a share of the Pretty Kitty and the auto parts store, but I encourage them all to have their own things going on. Razor’s thing is guns.

“This way.” I motion for her to follow me and take her through the door that leads to the back where there’s a shooting range. I have a locker here where I keep a few guns and extra ammo for when I want to let off some steam and the punching bag doesn’t help. I grab a mag and set up a target, then hand her a pair of ear muffs. She’s still giving me the evil eye, but she accepts it and puts it on. I swap out the mags, placing the extra one on the bench, and hand her my Glock. The way she’s feeling right now, I pray to God she doesn’t shoot me. She takes it, weighing it in her hand as she stares down at it.

“Thirty-three rounds. Just let it go.”

She takes one last look at me then turns toward the target. It doesn’t take her ten seconds to line up. She doesn’t swing her ass from side to side like I’ve seen most women do, just gets right down to it. Her ass does look amazing, though. She’s wearing shorts, so I also notice she’s shaved her legs. I know this isn’t the appropriate time, but seeing her standing there with my gun? Fucking sexy as hell. Then I see the scars on her legs. She’ll have those reminders for the rest of her life. I clench my jaw then take a deep breath. Tonight is about her anger, not mine.

I put on my ear muffs as she chambers a round, watching as she unloads the mag into the target. She releases the empty mag and replaces it without missing a beat. That one only has seventeen rounds, so she empties it in half the time. The slide locks but she releases it and stands there, aiming at the target.

“Raven –”

She spins to face me, racks the slide, points the gun in the center of my forehead, and presses the trigger. Her breathing is labored and there are tears streaming down her cheeks. When she realizes what she’s done, she gasps, ripping off the muffs. After removing mine, I take the gun from her carefully, and place it on the bench before she collapses in my arms. Her body shakes from her sobs as she throws her arms around me, clutching the back of my shirt.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Shh. I’m here, Raven.”

“What if –”

“It wasn’t. It was empty.”