“You remember that time you said I could call you out if you said anything cheesy and tell you to shut the hell up?” She has one eyebrow raised and I can’t contain my laughter.

“You’re killing my game here. I’m trying to woo you, woman. Shut up and swoon already!”

That earns me a heart-stopping smile, and although I said it in jest, I’m not really joking.

We finished a couple of bottles of red with dinner, and now we’re laid out on my sofa watching some old black and white movie that has Robyn giggling to herself every few minutes. I can’t bring myself to watch the movie when all I want to do is watch her.

“Stay the night?” I know she’ll tell me no, but I want her to stay so badly it almost hurts.

“What?” she asks, turning from the screen and looking back at me.

“Stay, don’t go home tonight. Spend the night here with me?”

The amount of hope that my request is dripping with should embarrass me. I sound needy; I don’t think I’ve ever sounded so needy in my whole life. It’s not a concept that I’m used to. I’m not accustomed to being the person doing the chasing, and I’ve always been able to pick and choose. It sounds like a horrendously obnoxious thing to say, but it’s the truth.

She scoots up the sofa so she’s sitting and looking at me. She looks unsure of herself and chews the corner of her lip as she watches me.

“I-I don’t, I’m not…” She’s stammering and stalling. Not exactly the response I was hoping for.

“I’m not asking for sex, although I wouldn’t decline it.” I wink. “I just want to fall asleep with you here with me.” God, if my friends could hear me now. I sound so fucking desperate, but I am.

She moves closer and places her soft lips over mine. Finally, I think as my entire body feels like it’s been ignited. I smile against her mouth, lifting my hands and pushing them through her thick silky hair. I let my tongue slide into her mouth and pull her in closer to me, intensifying the kiss. Her hands run from my shoulders across my chest, then slip slowly down over the ridges of my abs. Her hands leave a fiery trail, and I can’t hold back any longer. I want those hands lower; I need to feel them on me, all of me. I pull her into my lap, straddling me, never breaking our kiss, and begin running my hands up and down her arched back. She’s into this; her little moans and constant squirming against me as she rubs herself over my thighs confirm it. I don’t know what to do with my hands first, which place I want to explore. I need to see and touch and taste all of her. The tiny little sounds she’s making are driving me insane. I swear, I could probably get off from just the sound of her. I grab her ass and pull her into me hard, letting her feel my erection as it presses into her stomach and making sure she knows what she’s doing to me.

“Cole,” she exhales against my mouth, and I grind against her at the sound of my name in that ridiculously sexy breathy low voice.

Her hands push against my chest, and her mouth leaves mine. I hate the loss of it instantly.

“I can’t, I need to stop…I should go.”

“What? Why?” I sit up a little straighter and run my hand down my face.

Is she serious right now?

“I don’t know…I want to spend the night, but as soon as I take this next step, I can’t go back. I like how we are at the moment and I’m not quite ready to complicate things yet. Not ‘til I have my ducks in a row, and I know that sounds like a stupid excuse. I’m sorry.”

Her eyes are huge and doe-like. She’s flushed and disheveled and completely gorgeous. I don’t understand why she wants to pull away. Why she kisses me like she wants me more than her next breath and then suddenly detaches herself and retreats.

“Please don’t.” I sound pathetic even to my own ears, and I pull my hands down her arms, hoping that she’ll give in and change her mind.

She doesn’t.

I feel like shit as she moves from my lap and takes a step back, smoothing her wrinkled dress and taking a deep breath. I watch like I’m somehow detached from my body, unable to make myself move at the crushing disappointment that she’s pulling away again. There’s got to be something more than just wanting time. We’ve spent plenty of nights getting to know each other, I know the attraction is there, and she knows my intentions. I couldn’t make it any more fucking obvious that I want her if I painted it in goddamn red paint across my forehead.

“Is there something more to all this that I’m missing? You’re blowing hot one minute and then cold the next and I have no fucking clue how to take it, Robyn. I asked you to spend the night with me, I’ve made it clear that I don’t even expect anything sexual, and you still say no. Why? Are you seeing someone else, is that it?”

“No! I don’t know what you expect me to tell you, Cole. I’m not ready, I’m sorry.” She looks upset, and guilt floods me. I lean over and pull her into a hug.

“Don’t be, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” I tell her as I press a kiss to the top of her head. There’s something more to this, I know it. The way her eyes shot to the floor before she answered me screams that she’s holding back and hiding something.

“You want me to call you a cab?”

She nods with a weak smile on her lips, and it feels like a kick in the balls, but I take it. I have too much self-respect not to. I grab my cell and call her a cab, because despite the fact that I want her in every way a person can want someone, it needs to be a two-way thing and at the moment, it’s not.

The lawyer in me will find out why.

THE DOOR IS cracked when I get to the top of the stairs. Callum’s music is playing. I didn’t think he’d be in here. I glance at my watch but I can’t make out the time in the dark. The club’s closed up, so I know it’s either late or early, however you want to look at it. The cab ride home was quick, and my head’s still spinning with the image of Cole looking completely crestfallen when I told him I wanted to leave. Everything feels easy and right with him, up to the point of getting more physical and taking the next step. Even when we’re all hot and heavy and I’m really into it, I stop. What should be a natural progression feels anything but. He lights my body on fire when he kisses me, but there’s something missing. It’s like there’s an invisible barrier between us that my body or my mind, or maybe both, can’t tear down.

I feel like I’m leading him on and he’s going to get bored of me, but I can’t bring myself to take things any further with him. There’s a nagging feeling hanging over me. I’m looking over my shoulder constantly, just waiting for Carter to be lurking behind me. Working at the club both dancing and serving is tiring me out, and while I love it because it keeps my mind from dwelling on Danny, I’m not sure how long I can keep it up. The easy thing to do would be to blame Daniel and the fact that I’m not over him for this blockade with Cole, but it would be a lie. Sure Danny is on my mind, but only because I’m plotting all the ways I want to murder him for running out on me like this.

I don’t want to laden myself with any more drama, I have enough shitty things to deal with at the moment and guilt over not sleeping with Cole shouldn’t be one of them. He’s a great guy from what I’ve experienced so far, and dragging him into my problems wouldn’t be fair. God forbid if Carter caught up with me while Cole and I were together—he doesn’t need or deserve my shit pushed on him. Nobody does.