The next day we’re having self-defence lessons with Devlin, Grim and a few other members. I understand that this was a brief conversation but it’s weird that all of a sudden most of the club women are here having lessons. It makes me feel like there’s something they’re not telling us, especially after that scene Devlin and Franky made when Drew and I explained that we wanted to turn the top floor into a kick ass apartment.

I look over to Marie who is punching the living daylights out the punch bag in the corner. She said she already knows self-defence and wanted to help the girls out. So is showing Maci how to do it right. That woman is one tough bitch. I want to be just like her.

“Right ladies, let’s do some jogging around the room before we do that again!” Devlin shouts, he sounds angry and just like a fucking army sergeant and it turns me on.

“Tash, tell your boyfriend to take a chill pill.” Elise moans.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I say as best as I can whilst running around the room.

“Well he sure is checking you out.” Nelly adds as she runs past me.

I risk a sneaking look over at Devlin and have to try my best to hide my smirk. Sure enough, Devlin is looking at me and the look in his eyes is pure lust. When he catches me looking over at him he bites down on his bottom lip and sends me a wink. I have to snap out of it and continue with his orders, I do like how he shouts orders though. I might have to tell him to try this in the bedroom when I’m ready to take things further.

When we move onto the one on one demonstrations we pick it up real fast and I’m impressed at how myself and the other girls are developing. If we keep this up, nobody will want to mess with us and considering what I’ve been through this is going to give me a serious confident boost. Towards the end, Grim begins to get a little more physical with Lauren and it’s sickeningly sweet. He makes out he’s about to pick her up and slam her down on the floor, like they were showing us earlier but instead of putting her down on the floor her turns her around and kisses her. He keeps patting her bottom and lying on top of her longer than needed when he does the floor demonstrations.

I look up to Devlin to see him looking right back at me and I have to look away. Those fucking eyes, I love them but hate them at the same time.

“Want me to show you the move too?” Devlin suddenly whispers into my ear. I thought he was across the room? How the fuck did he get over here so fast? I don’t get a chance to reply because he’s leading me over to a free mat anyway.

“Ok, so I’m going to try and get you on the floor.” Devlin begins. “You’ve gotta try and stop me.”

Devlin rushes towards me and I try with all my strength to make sure I don’t get taken down, but it’s no use. Even if I did have a little more strength behind me it still wouldn’t work out because Devlin is a big guy. Within seconds I’m lying under him and my breathing speeds. Devlin looks down at me, his eyes burning into mine and I forget everyone else in the room.

“Anyone would think you wanted me to do this.” Devlin smiles smugly and damn him if I don’t love that smile.

“You’re too strong.” I point out, sounding a little breathless.

“Now you need to get me off you.” Devlin adds and I try, I really do but Devlin puts all his weight into it and I can’t budge him even a little bit.

“That’s not fair.” I laugh.

When I open my eyes, I’m shocked at the lust I see reflection in Delvin’s dark pupils. I then hear Lauren screaming and look across to see Grim carrying her away in a fireman’s lift.

“Same time tomorrow ladies!” Grim shouts as he leaves with a screaming Lauren draped over him. The last thing I see is Grim slapping Laurens arse before the door closes behind them. Devlin helps me up and holds me against him for a few seconds. When he lets me go I miss his arms, I want to be wrapped in them all day.

“How are you two getting on?” Marie asks, looking between me and Devlin.

“We’re doing great.” Devlin answers as he passes them, making his way over to Scrappy.

“You two were looking pretty cosy.” Marie smiles.

“Yeah, you sure he’s not going to carry you out of here like Grim did with Lauren?” Elise giggles. The little madam knows so much more than what everyone thinks.

Everyone then starts to leave and Devlin confirms that they will be here again same time tomorrow if anyone is interested. I’m just curious as to why they seem so insistent on it, why not a weekly thing? When I’m left alone with Devlin, I ask him that exact question.

“I thought you girls wanted this?” He points out, grabbing the mat from the floor and tidying the away.

“We do, but daily? Isn’t that a bit too much?” I ask. “Are you sure there’s something you’re not telling me?”

Devlin doesn’t turn to face me right away, but when he does I know there’s something he’s keeping from me.

“Babe, trust me when I say you don’t need to know and unless I think it’s really necessary, then you will know.” He plants a kiss on my forehead.

“Ok, I trust you.” I honestly do. I will leave to Devlin to decide when I should know. I just hope he’s right and this won’t blow up in all of our faces because I get the feeling this isn’t just about me and Devlin.

After just two days of self-defence lessons my body is so sore! Lauren and I complained to Grim when we go home last night so he decided to cancel today’s lesson and have a chilled afternoon at his. Lauren and I invited a few people and I was shocked when Grim didn’t look too pleased but I put it all down to him wanting some time with Lauren.

Marie and Nelly brought their kids along and I’m really enjoying myself. Devlin was late but as soon as he entered the house I felt his presence. The last two nights we have slept in either my bed or his back at the clubhouse. He seems a little agitated lately but I’m always glad to see him get some sleep and relax. It’s odd though because I know he’s getting the sleep he needs but he still always manages to look tired. Like right now for instance, he looks like he’s about to pass out on at floor but I know he had a great sleep last night!

“Hey babe.” He sit beside me and sighs a huge sigh of relief.

“Are you ok?” I ask, seriously concerned about him.

He looks up to me with wide eyes. “Yeah sure I am.”

He doesn’t fool me, but I let it slide because I have whatever he’s stressing about is the same thing that’s been bugging me for a couple of days now. Devlin told me if he thought I needed to know that he would tell me and I trust him on that. Doesn’t mean I don’t like it though.

I get up and grab him a beer and a cheeseburger. I slide down next to him and he seems grateful, in fact the burger vanishes pretty quickly. I snuggle in next to him and Devlin grabs me close. I could stay like this for the rest of the day.

Grim and Lauren sit on the sofa opposite us, smiling at the sight of us.

“Awww.” Lauren smiles.

“Shut up.” I snap at her.

“You can’t blame her,” Grim joins in. “You do look adorable.”

I’m about to give him a piece of my mind, but his phone starts to loudly ring and he stands to answer it. Lauren watches him walk away, a puzzled look on her face. I know she shares the same concerns as I do because Lauren asked me about it last night. At least I’m not the only one who feels like something’s off.