Peter, who had been sipping his coffee, spit it out all over his lap. Between laughs, he said, “I was going to say that’s the wrong way to go about it, but then again, I’m in the army, so that might be hypocritical.”

As Kelsey laughed, watching him clean up, she heard a click behind her. “Kels?”

She turned around.

Gillian stood in the doorway, letter jacket over her arm. “You can’t say no to pizza.…”

Kelsey snapped the laptop shut. But she wasn’t fast enough.

“Was that—?” Gillian walked into the room, pointing at the computer. “Who was that?”

“No one,” Kelsey said, which was the wrong answer. Any answer felt like the wrong answer.

“That was Michelle’s boyfriend,” Gillian said, her eyebrows furrowing. “The soldier.”

Gillian had seen Peter the night of their party through Michelle’s door. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was how guilty she looked by hiding him. Oh no.

“Yeah, but—” Kelsey began. She could feel tears coming on. She blinked them away.

“Kelsey. Calm down.” Gillian’s head tilted, puzzled. “Why did you end the Skype call?”

“You startled me.”

Gillian’s lips pursed. She didn’t buy it. She was a smart girl.

“So what’s up? What were you guys talking about?”

“Just Michelle stuff,” Kelsey said. She gave the long sigh she gave her parents when she didn’t want to talk, but with Gillian, her breath came out uneven and forced.

“That must be tough,” Gillian said.

“Yeah.”

“You want to talk about it?” Gillian asked.

“Not right now.”

Gillian made a dismissive hmm. Kelsey usually told Gillian everything. But where could she start when the beginning was the end of Michelle?

“He’s—he’s not taking it well,” Kelsey continued.

“Well, at least you all were laughing when I came in,” Gillian said slowly, not meaning a word. “When did you tell him?”

Kelsey could feel the air get more still, muffling her. “I—soon, I mean, recently…”

“He didn’t find out from the news?”

“He hasn’t read it.”

The details dawned on Gillian, now visible in her face, tightening it.

She had figured it out.

“He doesn’t know?”

Kelsey tried to breathe through her nose. “Know what?”

“Don’t play dumb. You were talking to Michelle’s boyfriend.”

“It’s not a big deal.” But Kelsey’s jaw, which had started shaking, said otherwise.

Gillian took a step toward her. “Does this soldier guy not know that Michelle is gone?”

Kelsey stared at the carpet. The more she lied, the worse she looked. So she didn’t lie. “No. He doesn’t know.”

“Does he know he’s talking to you?”

A pause. “No.”

Kelsey finally looked her best friend in the eyes. They were still narrowed, but just as much in question as in anger. “Why the hell would you do something like that?”

When Kelsey opened her mouth to speak, she found her throat was caught again. The tears were back. “I didn’t know how to tell him,” she got out. “I’m sorry. I know it’s bad. But I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to make things harder on him than they already were. He’s putting his life on the line, you know? And—”

Gillian shook her head, as if she couldn’t bear to hear anymore.

Kelsey wanted to go further, to explain, but she knew the words would make it sound even worse. She had never stated the facts this way, not even to herself: With Peter, I can pretend it never happened. And I like talking to him. He makes me laugh. We were having fun.

Gillian’s voice brought her back. “I know you miss Michelle, but this is crazy. You have to stop.”

Kelsey sat back down at her desk, and looked up. “Of course. Yes. I will.”

“Kels. You’re playing with fire.”

“I’m not doing it to hurt anyone,” Kelsey offered.

Gillian scoffed. “Oh, yeah? How does Davis feel about that?”

Kelsey said nothing. A hardness formed inside her. It was the initial shock that ruined it. She had no time to plan for something like this, an interruption like this. “Davis has nothing to do with it. You don’t understand.”

“No, I really don’t,” she snapped.

“I’ll stop.” Then, at her back, Kelsey pleaded, “Please don’t tell anyone.”

Gillian turned, her eyes roaming around the room, trying to process. “Yeah.” She nodded, but she couldn’t look at Kelsey. She didn’t want to look at Kelsey. “See you Monday.”

With that, Gillian slid on her jacket, and opened the door.

“See you then,” Kelsey replied, but by that time, the door was closed between them.

2/10, 1:32 am

From: Maxfield, Kelsey

To: Farrow, Peter W SPC

Subject: (no subject)

Peter,

You are such a good person, and you deserve the truth. I’m just not sure that you would ever want to hear this truth, which is why I haven’t told you yet.… You’re probably wondering why I’m emailing you. I’m Kelsey—Michelle’s sister, we met in my kitchen. And I need to tell you that

SAVE AS DRAFT?

SAVED

2/10, 1:44 am

From: Maxfield, Michelle

To: Farrow, Peter W SPC

Subject: got cut off

Oompa-Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo / A friend came over to borrow my shoes

Then I remembered we were supposed to eat pizza / Nothing rhymes with pizza

Talk to you next week?

SENDING…

SENT

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

When there was nothing on TV, Kelsey and Davis used to sit on her porch in the summer, drinking AriZona iced tea, going back and forth with “It’s so hot…” jokes. Most of them were so old-timey they barely made sense. It’s hotter than a two-dollar pistol on the Fourth of July was a good one. It’s hotter than a pig tart in pig church was one Davis had said that made her laugh so much that she started laughing at the fact that she was still laughing.

Tonight, Valentine’s Day, they met at a table for two at one of the fancier places downtown, Kelsey in her little black dress and heels, Davis in a T-shirt that read THE DUDE ABIDES under his blazer. The waitress at the Eldridge had come around for the third time, but Kelsey still couldn’t decide what she wanted. Davis sat across from her, fingers drumming next to his salad fork, or his dessert fork, or whichever fork it was.

“How about the lamb?” he asked.

“Too rich,” Kelsey muttered. The smell of garlic from the kitchen was making her stomach turn. Or maybe it was anxiety. Or the fact that Gillian hadn’t said one word to her for the last four days. That she’d suggested that Kelsey was being unfaithful to Davis, and even though she technically wasn’t, she felt guilty. Or maybe she was guilty.

Davis smiled, clearing his throat. “All the more reason to eat them. These lambs led a good life.”

He paused, waiting for laughter. He hadn’t noticed she was upset.

“More time?” the waitress asked.

“Looks like it,” Davis said, giving the brunette with a bow tie an apologetic wink. Kelsey rolled her eyes.

“Sorry,” Kelsey said. “Sorry,” she repeated to Davis when the server had left.

“No worries, baby. We’ve got all night,” he said. “How about the gnocchi?”

“What’s gnocchi? It sounds like a mythical creature.”

“You don’t know gnocchi? Little potato things. The turds of the potato, if you will.”

“Gross.” Tiny, heart-shaped confetti was scattered in gold flecks on the tablecloth. She brushed them off.