I convinced myself that I had done the right thing by walking away. Continuing to stand by his side while he slowly lost control would have destroyed me. I couldn’t have watched him make the same bad choices that had taken the life of my sister, Jayme, years ago.

I should never have fallen in love with him in the first place.

“Aubrey.” Dr. Lowell’s voice brought me out of my suffocating guilt. I blinked and tried to refocus on my situation.

“Dr. Jamison, Professor Bradley, and I all agree that you have behaved in a manner that is both unprofessional and inappropriate. Your actions have had a negative impact, not only on your reputation within this department, but on this department’s reputation in the community.” I swallowed thickly but I never looked away from the narrowed eyes of my favorite teacher.

“You have put me and the rest of the department in a very precarious position. Despite your exemplary academic record, we can’t be shown giving lenience to you, particularly considering the severity of the violation,” Dr. Lowell stated sternly.

“We have come to the decision that you will be placed on academic suspension until it is agreed by all parties that you are to be permitted to resume your place in the program.”

I blinked, hardly breathing. It had happened. It had really freaking happened.

I had potentially trashed my school career for the dream of a future with a man who had selfishly thrown it away. My chest felt tight and I felt panicky.

What was I going to do now?

How could I crawl back up from rock bottom? Was it even possible? I felt the door slamming shut on me, and even though I had prepared myself for the likelihood of it happening, I wasn’t quite prepared enough.

But I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t allow myself to be reduced to a weeping mess. Aubrey Duncan was made of stronger stuff than that, even if the thought of curling into a tight, compact ball seemed incredibly appealing.

“However . . .” Dr. Lowell began, and my heart skipped a beat at the slight change in her tone. A sliver of something other than displeasure laced her words.

“Positive reinforcement is just as effective as negative consequences. And I think it’s important that you be given the opportunity to earn your place back in the program. This suspension does not have to be permanent. But that will have to depend on you. You have assured us that the relationship is no longer a source for concern and that you have accepted accountability for your actions. Despite the severity of the offense, I don’t think it should negate the years of hard work you have put into the program. This doesn’t need to be an indefinite punishment.”

Was I supposed to be relieved that my professors were giving me a second chance? Was I expected to do cartwheels because I was given the opportunity to win back their approval?

I couldn’t help but feel a flash of bitter resentment toward the individuals sitting in front of me, looking down their noses in pious disapproval. How easily they cast their judgments. A large part of me was very aware that I deserved it. But there was also a defiant, rebellious side of me that wanted to scream.

I swallowed the momentary need to tell them what I really thought and nodded. It was the only response I could give without making my situation worse.

Dr. Lowell watched me for a few minutes, and I knew that she had picked up on my warring emotions. Dr. Lowell had always understood me—she had been my mentor, the woman I had looked up to. The deterioration of her goodwill was in many ways the toughest part about this.

“Your volunteer hours will be rescinded, and should you regain your place in the counseling program down the road, you will have to begin your clinical hours again, which could greatly impact your graduation next spring.” Dr. Lowell glanced back down at the paper in her hands, as though looking at me had become too much for her.

“You will continue with your other coursework as normal. Your gen-ed requirements will continue as before. However, you will not be attending any of the counseling and psychology classes. Though it will be mandatory that you audit Dr. Jones’s Boundaries and Ethics in Counseling class.”

“I completed that class last fall, Dr. Lowell. I earned a B,” I pointed out. Dr. Lowell gave me a patronizing look and continued without pausing. “We feel that a refresher is necessary. And it goes without saying that you will have absolutely no direct counseling interaction. After the suspension is lifted we can discuss how to make up for the time you have lost and what your best move forward will be.”

Not being able to complete my counseling coursework was going to put me so behind I wasn’t sure I’d be able to catch up. How would I ever be able to graduate on time when I would be essentially starting this year over?

“You will be required to meet with me once a week to evaluate your progress and discuss your options. All of this is mandatory if you wish to return to the counseling program. And I don’t think I need to tell you that any sort of contact with Maxx Demelo will be strictly prohibited while he is considered a therapeutic client.”

I wanted to laugh at the last statement, knowing that particular caveat would not be an issue. Dr. Lowell removed her glasses and folded them slowly, laying them down on the table. Dr. Jamison was making notes and Professor Bradley seemed to be counting down until the end of this uncomfortable hearing.

“Aubrey, I don’t need to tell you again how your actions have reflected on this department within the community. It has strained relations with the community service board, which has been our partner in providing services to our campus for over fifteen years. But that doesn’t change the fact that you are a smart, capable young woman . . . who happened to make a mistake that could have ended your career before it began.” Dr. Lowell’s mouth turned down.

“I hope you take this opportunity for what it is. A second chance to prove to us, to the department, and more importantly to yourself, that you can put aside your personal feelings and act in a manner that is both professional and appropriate.”

“I will, Dr. Lowell. I promise,” I let out in a rush, not able to identify exactly what the swirling emotions running wildly inside me were.

Disappointment? Definitely. Anger? Most likely. A little bit of relief that I still, after everything, was being given a glimmer of hope that I could get myself out of the mess I had created? Absolutely.

“We will send you an official letter with the panel’s decision in writing. This will also define the requirements of your suspension and what will be expected of you. Do you have any questions, Miss Duncan?” Dr. Jamison asked.

“No, sir,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t pass out. I just wanted to get through those last few moments and get out of there.

Dr. Jamison nodded, and just like that, I was dismissed. I quickly gathered my purse and hurried out into the hallway. Brooks, as I suspected, was pacing and Renee was chewing on her thumbnail. Both looked up as I opened the door. Renee got to her feet and rushed over.

“What happened?” Renee asked, sounding almost as frantic as I felt.

I looked from her to Brooks, still in a daze. Renee gave me a little shake. “Damn it, Aubrey, what the hell happened?” my best friend and roommate demanded.

“Suspended. I was suspended,” I answered, the words sounding dry and brittle in my ears.

“Shit. They kicked you out?” Brooks asked, squeezing my shoulder.

I let out a shrill laugh that sounded almost manic to my ears. “Yeah, they kicked me out. But Dr. Lowell says I can earn my spot back. You know, after I jump through a few hoops.”

Brooks gave me a reassuring smile. “Well, that sounds promising. It’s not like it’s forever.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know, Brooks.” I wasn’t ready to hear words of encouragement from him just yet. A part of me still wondered if he’d been the one who’d ultimately told Kristie, the woman who co-facilitated the counseling group where I first met Maxx, about our relationship.