To call him back? I had no idea what I was going to do.

“Hey.” I was startled by the sudden appearance of my roommate. Renee sat down in the chair Maxx had just vacated. Her hair was windblown and wild, her cheeks flushed as though she had just run across campus.

“Hey,” I said back, resisting the urge to look at Maxx again. She took off her coat and draped it over the back of the chair. She glanced up at the counter, her eyes widening. “I didn’t realize Maxx worked here.”

I grunted noncommittally. She pushed my cup with her finger. “Is that why you’ve been walking around like a tweeker on a meth binge? Caffeine overload?” Renee narrowed her eyes.

“I’m just indulging my love of lattes. Nothing more.”

Renee shook her head and sighed, pulling the Department of Education brochure toward her. She frowned again. “What in the world is all this?”

“I’m thinking of changing my major,” I remarked breezily, as though it wasn’t a huge deal. Because it was a huge deal.

If I were to change my school trajectory, I would be essentially going back to square one. But the harder I worked to fight my way back into the counseling program, the more my doubt grew. I was beginning to question absolutely everything. It was unsettling.

“Change your major? Did you drink some crazy juice this morning?” Renee asked in disbelief. I understood why she was confused. This was completely out of character for me. But since meeting Maxx, out of character had become in character.

I glanced at Maxx out of the corner of my eye, unwilling to admit that perhaps he was a major reason for my change of heart.

“I just have a lot of thinking to do.”

Before Renee could respond, her attention was pulled to the light tapping on the window beside us. We both turned in unison. Devon Keeton stood on the other side of the glass, his red hair sticking up all over his head, his hands shoved into his pockets. Renee swallowed, her eyes darting to me.

“What’s that all about?” I asked, jerking my thumb in Devon’s direction. He tapped on the window again, seeming a little agitated when Renee purposefully turned her back.

“It’s no big deal,” she mimed, giving me a loaded look.

Renee fidgeted in her seat and continued to look through the course catalogue as though her ex-boyfriend, the same guy I caught her making out with only days before, wasn’t standing there, staring at her beseechingly.

“Is he just going to stand there all day?” I asked, unsettled by Devon’s stalker behavior.

Renee blew out a breath and rubbed her temples as though she had a headache. “I just want to ignore him. I don’t want to look at him. I just want to forget about him.” My friend looked tired, sad, and more than a little conflicted. Finally she got up and stormed angrily out of the coffee shop.

“Who’s that?” Maxx asked, wrapping a dish towel around his hand. We both watched Renee and Devon’s obviously heated exchange.

“He was her mistake,” I said with a clear edge to my voice. Maxx’s eyes flashed and he looked at me, picking up on the innuendo.

“Is that why you come in here three times a day for coffee you don’t really want? Because I’m your mistake?” Maxx asked, sounding angry.

“I like coffee,” I muttered, looking back out the window. Devon tried to reach for Renee, but she put her hands up, stopping him. I could see that she was crying. She shook her head violently, her red hair flying around her face.

“Aubrey,” Maxx said softly, grabbing my attention as surely as if he had shouted it. “We’re not them,” he said quietly, picking up on a thought I had mulled over more than once.

He still stood there, twisting the damn dish towel around his hand. He was gnawing on his bottom lip again, a sign he was anxious.

“We’re us. And that’s not such a bad thing, you know,” he continued quietly.

I sighed, not responding. Because, really, what could I say? He was right. We weren’t all bad. Even though there was some really messed-up stuff between us, there was also some beauty as well. Because of Maxx, I had been able to open myself up in a way I hadn’t been willing to do in three years. Because of Maxx, I started to become the Aubrey Duncan I used to be. Spontaneous. Open. Vulnerable.

I had to find a way to get past this anger I felt toward him. This bitterness was clawing a hole through my gut. “I know,” I finally admitted, watching as Renee shouted something at Devon and turned away, walking quickly down the path toward the parking lot. Devon stood there, looking at a loss. If I didn’t know what an asshole he was, I might have felt sorry for him. Because he seemed honestly heartbroken.

Serves the abusive fuckhead right!

“How about, instead of coming in here three times a day, you let me take you somewhere?” Maxx said, startling me.

“What?” I asked, my mouth gaping open like a fish’s.

“What would you say if I wanted you to spend the day with me? Out of the coffee shop, that is,” he said, his mouth curving upward in a hesitant smile.

I was hit by a wave of déjà vu that had me sucking in a painful breath.

Spend the day with me, I recalled him saying that first morning we had spent together. I remembered exactly what we were doing when he had asked me to blow off classes and be with him.

Just for today. No classes. No work. Just you. Just me. Just us together.

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen, Maxx,” I said, showing both of us exactly how different things were between us now.

Because that time, all those months ago, I had done exactly as he had asked, no hesitation.

Maxx stopped twisting the towel in his hands and dropped it onto the table.

“I’m not asking you to run away with me, Aubrey. I’m just asking for a few hours. I could come by after you go to the library and take you out to the farm where I work. The stable manager said I could ride the horses sometime. That’s it. If you have a horrible time, I’ll never ask you to come out with me again,” Maxx stated.

Horseback riding? The randomness of it reminded me yet again of how much I missed that spontaneous side that only Maxx brought out in me. “You just won’t give up, will you?” I asked, feeling myself giving in. Because I already knew the answer. And I hated that the part of me that still loved him didn’t want him to give up. Ever.

I sighed and looked up, meeting the eyes of the man who stood in front of me with his heart in his hands, hoping that I would reach out and take it.

“Okay,” I whispered. I felt as though I were standing on a precipice, ready to topple over.

“Really?” Maxx asked, his smile turning into a full-blown grin. He looked as though he had just won the lottery.

It was sort of irresistible.

And by the sinking feeling in my gut, I knew I was in trouble.

chapter

twenty

aubrey

why had I accepted Maxx’s invitation?

I had a strong feeling that the world I had only just gotten back on track was about to change all over again.

I sat on my couch only an hour after leaving the coffee shop, the brochure for the Department of Education in my lap and a thousand different possibilities for my life floating around in my head. I was feeling completely and totally overwhelmed.

Renee walked through the door in the middle of my silent freak-out looking much calmer than she had earlier. “Are you all right?” I questioned her.

My friend collapsed on the couch beside me. “I’ve made a mess of stuff,” she said, her admission rough in her mouth.

“You want to talk about it?” I asked, giving her the opportunity to share with me what was going on with her. My curiosity was killing me. I wanted to know what Devon said to her. I wanted to know what exactly she was doing with her abusive ex-boyfriend. I wanted to grill her more about Iain and what had happened between them. Renee put her hand over mine that still clutched the course catalogue and squeezed. The comforting gesture was clearly for her as much as for me.