I lifted the course book in my hands. “Picking out classes for the fall.”

Brooks frowned. “So you’re really changing your major?” he asked.

I bit on my lip and nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

I expected a lecture or at least a snort of disgust, but I got neither. Brooks simply looked at me thoughtfully.

“You’re not going to tell me again how stupid I’m being to throw away the last three years? No berating comments on how far behind I’m putting myself by doing this?”

Brooks shook his head. “Nope. None of that. You can’t force something that doesn’t work, Aubrey,” he said with a tinge of sadness.

I had a feeling that he was talking about more than just my major.

He took a sip of his coffee. “I’ve decided to go to the University of Maryland for grad school. I just accepted their offer last week,” he said.

I dropped the course catalogue onto the table and looked at my friend. “What happened to staying at LU for your master’s?” I asked.

Brooks took another sip of his coffee and looked at me, his eyes meeting mine. “I would be staying for all the wrong reasons. I think you were right when you said it’d be good to get away.”

I felt a knot forming in my stomach as my guilt flared viciously.

I had treated Brooks Hamlin unfairly. He had been nothing but supportive and a true friend, and I had used him. Emotionally manipulated him. Then cast him aside when Maxx reentered my life.

I didn’t like myself very much in that instant. Not at all.

“I know what you’re doing over there,” Brooks said, breaking me out of my self-loathing.

“Oh yeah? And what is that?” I asked tightly.

“You think this is about you and what I told you. That’s pretty narcissistic of you, don’t you think?” he teased good-naturedly.

“But you seemed so sure about staying on at LU,” I countered.

“Yeah, and maybe I was hedging for something to happen between us. I love you, Aubrey, that hasn’t changed. But it wasn’t cool of me to put that on you when I knew you didn’t feel the same way.”

I clenched my hands into fists. “I led you on, Brooks—”

“And I knew why you were doing it. I knew you were in love with Maxx and nothing had changed. Even though I can’t really stand the guy and think you can do so much better, that’s where your heart is. I can’t force you to feel something for me that isn’t there. And to put that pressure on you wasn’t right.”

I reached across the table and grabbed ahold of his hand, squeezing it. “You are such a great guy, Brooks. You’re one of my best friends, and I really hope that never changes, no matter where we end up. Because this—” I squeezed his hand a little harder. “This is the kind of friendship that lasts a lifetime.”

Brooks squeezed back. “I know. I hope you realize that I only want the best for you. And even if I don’t entirely understand why, you seem to think it’s Maxx. And I have to be okay with that. I have to trust you to make the right choices for yourself and stop treating you like you’re incapable of making your own decisions.”

Trust.

There was that word again. It seemed that everyone was having trouble embracing it.

“I appreciate it, Brooks, I really do.”

We smiled at each other in that easy, familiar way of ours, and then Brooks grabbed the course catalogue and flipped through it.

“There are some great classes in here. What’s the track you’ve decided on?” he asked, changing the subject.

I let him steer our conversation into territory where we felt the most comfortable, and I knew that it would take some time and maybe some distance, but we’d be okay.

chapter

thirty-four

aubrey

it was Saturday evening and Renee and I were walking back from the campus library. Maxx was spending time with Landon again, so Renee had asked if I wanted to keep her company while she finished up a project for her marketing class that was due on Monday.

“We’re such wild and crazy chicks. Hanging at the library on a Saturday night,” I laughed, slinging my coat over my shoulders. We were marching into the first week of May, the end of school just around the corner, and it was finally warm enough to walk around at night without a jacket.

I loved the summer. It was my favorite time of year. I planned to suggest to Maxx that we go down and stay with my parents for a few weeks after school let out. Marshall Creek was only an hour’s drive from the Outer Banks. I wanted to have the time with Maxx to really unwind and relax after how stressful the last few months had been.

My parents and I were in regular contact since I had been to see them, and while things were still awkward at times, we were getting there.

“I can’t wait until summer,” I said.

“Me neither. My parents asked me to come home for a few weeks. I’m really thinking of taking them up on the offer.” Renee picked up her book bag and followed me out the door.

“Are you going to see Iain at all over the summer? Is he sticking around campus?” I asked. I still wasn’t sure what was going on with Iain. I knew Renee had gone out on a few dates, but I knew my friend and she was purposefully not investing in a relationship with the guy.

Renee shrugged. “I’m not sure. We haven’t really discussed summer plans,” she said, unconcerned.

“Maybe you could make some plans with him?” I urged. I hated seeing Renee close herself off the way I had always done. Renee was the impulsive, passionate one. I had been steady and emotionally stunted. I wasn’t sure what to think about the role reversal.

I worried about Renee. Sure, she was doing great in school and seemed to be making a good effort of moving on from Devon, but there was a spark missing in her eyes that bothered me. Renee gave me a sideways look, knowing exactly what I was doing. “You’re so pushy, Aubrey,” she accused with a smile.

“I just want to see my best friend happy,” I replied, nudging her shoulder with mine as we walked across campus.

“I am happy,” Renee argued.

“Okay, I’d like to see you happier,” I corrected.

“I don’t need a guy to be happy, Aubrey. Give me a bit more credit for my personal growth,” she scolded.

“I’m not saying you need a guy, Renee. I just don’t want you to morph into the Aubrey zombie of emotional death,” I joked.

“An Aubrey zombie, huh? Sounds pretty scary.” She laughed.

“It is, trust me,” I said soberly, meaning it.

“I know you think I’m shutting myself off because of what happened with Devon. And that’s not it. I swear it. I’m just protecting myself from now on. And I don’t think jumping into something serious is the way to do that. I can date Iain and have fun, but that’s it. That’s all I’m capable of right now.”

“Okay, I understand, I won’t push it.”

“I don’t mind you pushing, Aubrey. I know it’s because you love me,” Renee said, looping her arm through mine.

“Love you silly.” I grinned.

Renee chuckled and shook her head. “You’ve got the silly part right.”

“What’s going on over there?” Renee pointed to a group of people congregated around the side of the gym.

“I’m not sure,” I said, giving my friend’s arm a tug.

My guts twisted with déjà vu.

“Let’s go check it out,” I said, my voice strangely rough.

“Whatever it is has gotten everyone pretty excited,” Renee commented as we bounced on our tiptoes trying to see over the heads of the crowd.

“Let’s go linebacker on these guys,” I said, nodding my head toward the people milling around in tight clumps.

“I’ve got my elbows ready,” Renee joked. Together, we pushed through to the brick wall that seemed to hold everyone’s attention.

And then my heart dropped to the ground along with my belief in trust and love and hope.

“No,” I breathed out, hardly believing what I was seeing.