It wasn’t until Wednesday evening that she got a chance to sit down with Mike for some unwinding time. After a long shower, he sank with a sigh onto the couch, head dropping back in relief and exhaustion.

“Well done, Detective Heyer.” She handed him a beer and turned the oven down to warm. Dinner would keep while she got some answers. She poured herself a glass of wine and joined him, curling her legs up and resting them on his thigh. “It’s so good to have you home at a decent hour.”

“Fucking amazing to be home. Jesus, that was a gnarly bust.”

“Need to talk about it?”

“Christ no. Let’s talk about anything but that. How’s your week been?”

“Work’s quieted down, which is good. Haven’t done much in the evenings, though. Mostly just been coming home and being a lump, but it’s been nice… I’ve had a lot on my mind. Since Saturday.”

Mike’s gaze cooled, expression difficult to read. “Oh?”

“I, um, haven’t been talking with him – texting, I mean. I didn’t want to keep things all ramped up until you and I talked. About how you feel about everything that happened.”

Mike smiled, and that simple gesture brought Sam’s breath back in a quenching rush.

“Was my coming twice not enough of an endorsement?” he teased. “Or do you mean because of… you know. What I did. To him.”

She nodded. “Just tell me you’re not traumatized.”

He shrugged. “It was out of my comfort zone, but that’s kind of par for the course with the entire arrangement, right?”

“True. Did it… did it turn you on at all, or the opposite?”

“Neither. It was just… I don’t know what the right word is. Like, scary, but without any trauma, I guess. I dunno. Same as when I’ve tasted what he… You know what I’m saying.”

“But it’s not your thing.”

Mike laughed softly. “Sami, this entire adventure we’ve been on is my thing. And that stuff’s all part of it. I don’t know how to describe it, since you don’t have this weird desire that I do. There’s stuff I like to feel that doesn’t automatically connect to my dick. The fear I feel when I imagine you cheating on me, and the discomfort from when he and I overlap, physically… Those things don’t feel good, except they do. They hurt, but then it’s like it ferments into something hot. Am I making any sense?”

“Yeah, you are.” And she realized with pleasure that she’d never heard him explain his kink so articulately before, or perhaps with such ownership or awareness.

“The bad feelings feed the good ones,” he said. “It’s like a punch in the stomach, but chased by more than an absence of pain. By more excitement than anything else gets me feeling.”

She licked her lip, nervous to share her own turn-ons. A silly hesitation, considering the taboos he’d owned up to. Then again, it had taken him a few years to open up about those, and he’d been scared when he first began to share, to say the least.

“What is it?” he asked.

“When you guys were both with me, at the end…” She laughed. “Holy crap, that was hot.”

He squeezed her upper arm, smiling. “Good. For me, too.”

“And also when you and him…” Why was it so hard to say some of these things, after everything they’d planned and orchestrated? She sipped her wine. “When you took him… in your mouth.”

“You liked it?”

A blush burned in her cheeks. “That was so fucking hot.” She laughed again. “I hadn’t expected it would be – not like that. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

“Well. Good, I guess.”

“I hope that doesn’t weird you out.”

“Tell me my turn-ons never weirded you out.” He smirked, knowing all too well that they had. They’d made her reconsider their engagement, after all.

He shifted to better face her, and took her hands. “If we see him again, and that happens again… I was up for it, last time, even if it freaked me out a little. But knowing you’re watching, and that it excites you, even a fraction as much as watching you and him together excites me? I could maybe even learn to like it, knowing that.”

She was still blushing, but she felt humbled now, not embarrassed. “Oh. Well, good.”

“And if you talk to him, you should tell him that, too.”

“Maybe.”

Mike paused, brow creased, attention on their hands.

“What?”

He looked up. “I don’t want to go much further with him, though. Me and him, doing things. Third base is my limit.”

She nodded. “Sure.”

“Just wanted to put that out there. Maybe tell him, if it comes up. We blurred a lot of lines this weekend, but I need that one to stay crystal clear.”

“I’ll tell him. I mean, if he even wants to talk to us, still. He’s been conspicuously quiet.”

“So have we. Maybe he doesn’t want to look too eager.”

“I hope so. I’d like to keep going. I was wondering how you were feeling about the next step – ditching the condoms and everything.” That next step in making Mike’s fantasies a reality was a biggie, and it demanded a lot of everyone. Demanded trust from Sam and Mike, but arguably asked even more of Bern. She wasn’t sure how or when to bring it up. Maybe an e-mail, once they were communicating again. Any chance you like us enough to get a blood test and be monogamous for a while? Hard to guess. They’d begun talking only a month before, and Mike was the one who fixated on the fluids, not Bern. And for all Sam knew, she wasn’t Bern’s sole lover at the moment. He was built and striking and charming. His answer could so easily be, Flattered, but you’re not my only arrangement. Sorry.

That thought had her resolving yet again to keep this in perspective. It felt kind of ridiculous, asking a man to commit to them for a few weeks or months, to be faithful to them because of what got Sam’s husband off.

But it just might get Bern off, too.

Unlike Sam, Mike didn’t seem too burdened by the question. He merely shrugged and said, “Up to him. I trust your female intuition – and your instincts. It’s a calculated risk, but if you think it’s one worth taking, I’m with you.”

“He’d have to basically be monogamous with us. It’s a lot to ask, but I will. Fingers crossed we’re worth staying faithful to, huh?”

Mike laughed. He picked up his bottle, eyeing it with surprise. “Jeez. Haven’t even tasted this.”

“Dinner?” Sam asked, standing. She felt twenty pounds lighter with this talk accomplished.

“Will it still be good in an hour?”

“Sure. You not hungry yet?”

“Would you like to maybe watch the video?”

Sam felt her brows rise. “Right now?”

“I’ve been thinking about it all week. Yeah, right now.”

She eyed her dwindling glass. “If I refresh this, then yeah, I think I can handle watching my naked debut. In here?” She nodded to the TV.

“I was thinking upstairs. Watch on the laptop.”

“All right, then. Get it set up and I’ll meet you in ten minutes.”

He smiled. “It’s a date.”

Bern eyed the clock. Ten after ten. Past his bedtime on a work night, yet here he was, lying awake, staring at the ceiling. Again.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Four days now, and not a peep from Samira.

That can’t be good. Did it mean Saturday night hadn’t been what they’d hoped for? He’d felt so goddamn cocky when he’d left, positive that had been a command performance. Had one or both of them felt creeped out about it, after? Or, God forbid, during? The only off tension he’d sensed had been when Mike had gone down on him, but that had been so quick, and the guy had gotten hard again, after. Was it from being so close, when they’d fucked Sam together? He kept defaulting to it being some homophobia issue. The most obvious explanation.

Unless they had a fight or something. Unless Mike was worried Sam might actually be feeling more than she was supposed to, maybe —

Brrrzzz. He reached for his phone so quick he knocked it to the floor. It slid to a halt with its screen lit up, and there it was, a new message alert.