I smiled lazily, pondering the question for a moment before I replied.

“Something slutty,” I typed, a grin on my face as I added “and don’t you dare wear any panties.”

“Yes, Sir,” Jess replied. “Goodnight.”

I hit he little red button on the screen to end the facetime call, then lay back in my bed, my eyes closed and a smile on my face. Everything seemed so perfect, like I’d walked right into a dream—a dream I’d had over and over again for the past few years. Jessica and I were finally together, finally free to hold one another the way I’d always wanted. She was mine, and I wasn’t about to let her go for one minute.

Maybe, just maybe, all of this will work, I thought as my eyes closed and I rested my head on my pillow. I have the girl of my dreams and everything is finally working out.

I pulled the blankets up over myself as I imagined for once what the future would hold beyond the next fuck, the next game or even the next party. Life seemed different now that Jessica was actually a part of it instead of a minor player. I’d made the right move. I could have been at Yale, hundreds of miles away from the one girl I’d always wanted… Instead, I was here, and she was mine.

“I made the right choice,” I said to the dark emptiness of my dorm room, my eyes closing once last time before the start of a brand new day.

Chapter 11

Jessica

“You’re such a freak!” Becky squealed from across the room.

“Hey! Be nice,” I said, feigning offense. “You were the one who told me that I should have had sex with him a long time ago!”

“I know, but I didn’t think that you’d ever actually do it!” she laughed, rolling onto her bed. “I’m proud of you!”

I’d waited at least a week before I’d let Becky in on me and Richard’s little secret, just to be sure that I wasn’t getting ahead of myself. Ever since I’d spilled the beans, it was all she was able to talk about whenever I was around. Becky wanted every single detail of our time together, especially all about what we did outside of the bedroom. She seemed to get a kick out of hearing about the things Richard would order me to do.

Richard’s commands usually left me feeling so hungry for him that I was ravenous by the time I saw him. Classes often got in the way of our face-to-face encounters, but that never stopped us from enjoying one another.

“It feels weird saying this, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good in my entire life. It’s like I hadn’t started actually living until I started actually being with Richard.”

“Does that mean you love him?” Becky asked, her grin only growing wider.

I’d been the kind of person who swore I’d never really fall in love, not in that sappy love story sort of way you’d always imagined from fairytales and romance novels. Becky knew I hated that sappy sort of drivel, and the fact that I was practically gushing over my stepbrother in way I’d never once spoke about Michael made her all the happier.

“I didn’t say that,” I replied, crossing my arms and turning my gaze away. I could already feel my cheeks flushing with color at the thought of actually whispering those words to Richard, confessing my feelings for him, and not merely my own lustful desires, but the desires of my heart. It was almost infuriating how emotional I was getting, waxing on in a sappy internal monologue of all the ways I craved his presence, the look into his eyes and merely swoon like some pathetic schoolgirl. I felt like a fool… and yet I’d never been happier in my life.

“But you meant it,” Becky giggled, practically squealing in excitement. “You’ve got it so bad for him! And not just in your pants!”

“Shut up!” I said, turning toward her in a mock display of anger. “I don’t want to talk about it”

“Touchy tonight,” she said, playing at being wounded by my outburst though I could see her grin still peeking through her mask of feigned reproachfulness. “I guess if you didn’t want to talk about all this lovey stuff, then I won’t tell you about my love life.”

“What?” I blinked, sitting up slightly in bed as I looked across the room at her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’ve met someone!” she said, biting at her lip excitedly. “About two weeks ago.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” I asked, feeling somewhat hurt for being kept out of the loop, thought after I’d hid my relationship with Richard for just as long I couldn’t really blame her. “What’s his name?”

“Greg,” she said, smiling bashfully. “He’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, and he’s so good with computers. In fact, that’s how we met.”

“Through the computer?” I asked, frowning slightly. I never liked the idea of online dating, especially the layer of anonymity it created, letting practically anyone pretend to be someone else. “Like, on a dating site?”

“No, stupid,” she laughed, “I met him in class. My laptop had crashed right in the middle of a lecture, and I thought I’d lost everything! But all of a sudden he taps me on the shoulder from the next row up and asks if I need any help. So he takes my laptop and before I know it he’s handing it back in no time at all with everything back exactly like it was! And when I looked at the document that was open on the screen it had his number on it.”

“Oh, my God. That it possibly the smoothest, nerdiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Right?!” she exclaimed, unable to stop herself from giggling. “So I can’t stop smiling all through class and the next day I called him, and we went out on a date!”

“Becky!” I squealed excitedly, “that’s fantastic!”

“I know!” she squealed back, “I was so nervous at first, but it’s like every time I’m near him, I don’t feel that way anymore. It’s like he knows just how to calm me down. And the sex is so great!”

“You’re already having sex?” I asked, my eyes going wide. “Since when?”

“Our third date,” she mumbled, casting her gaze down toward her knees bashfully. “I didn’t think he’d be good at it—he’s kind of an awkward guy most of the time—but I was so wrong.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, covering my face to hide my own scarlet cheeks. I never thought in a million years I’d be talking about my sex life, even with Becky, but I couldn’t deny that it felt good to have someone who knew the truth about what Richard and I were doing—especially someone who wouldn’t judge us.

“I’m glad I have you to talk to, Becky,” I said, relaxing back against my pillows, my arms up behind my head. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t there for me.”

“Well, I can’t say the feeling isn’t mutual, Jess,” she sighed, smiling over at me as she too settled back down onto her bed. “I’m just glad I have my best friend here with me, otherwise I don’t think I’d be able to handle college.”

“Me either,” I whispered.

The following morning, I was sitting outside of the campus café, enjoying the usual cup of coffee I liked to get right before classes started. It was always quiet, with only the few students milling about who made it a habit of not sleeping in until after noon on a regular basis. I liked to start my morning off quietly, left well enough alone before I had to finally deal with all the chaos of my fellow students moving like some massive school of fish, changing and pushing in every direction without a moment's notice. In fact it was so early that I almost jumped in surprise as I felt my phone vibrating in my jacket pocket.

“Where are you?” read a text from Richard. Usually he made it a point to sleep in, especially after practices.

“Outside the café, Sir,” I texted back, confused as to why he’d be interested in talking so early. Our time together usually took place after dark, though I’d still often get texted orders throughout the day, things that would force me to push through my own inhibitions and build confidence in my own sexuality. But lately his texts had come less and less, and I’d begun to wonder whether he’d started to get tired of me.