“So what changed? Why the phone call?” I ask.

“Well, there’s this kid, at the rehab center, and … I’ll tell you all about him, but I’d like you to come with me tomorrow, would you think about it, please?” he asks with such hopeful innocence and I want to cry with the overwhelming protectiveness I feel for his heart.

“Spike, I don’t even need to think about it, of course I want to come with you. Just try and stop me. If we are going to do this, we do this together, right? Everything. Together. I know what it entails. I know it won’t always be easy, but it has to be easier to pull together than struggle apart?”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he laughs, “You’re still as bossy as ever.”

“I know.” He smiles up at me and I lean in to him. Kissing him softly on the lips. A sealed, silent promise that I won’t leave his side. “I love you, Spike,” I whisper against his lips.

“I love you, too, Lottie. More than anything or anyone.”

“Good. Talk over.” I give him one last hard kiss and hop up off the bed. “I need to pee.”

“Whoa, hey, hold on there just a minute,” he calls, seeming panicked.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“What in hell’s name is that on your back?” he asks wide eyed, pushing himself up on to his elbows.

‘Oh. Um…” I had completely forgotten about my new tattoo. There hadn’t been a chance to tell him about it, and he was already in bed when I got in earlier, so he didn’t see it. Now that the light is on, he can see some of my new art beside my tank straps. “I got a tattoo.”

“You? You got a tattoo? Like a real one that won’t wash off?” he sputters like he can’t quite believe his eyes.

“Yes, Spike,” I laugh at his reaction. “I think I’m a bit big for a wash off transfer, don’t you?”

“Let me see,” he demands, and I can’t tell if he’s amused or angry.

I sit on the bed with my back to him and pull my top up over my head so he can see.

“It’s only just been done. Well, it’s been a work in progress for the last week or so, and the final color was added yesterday so it doesn’t look at its best at the moment.” I know I’m babbling, but I’m suddenly nervous about this. “It’s a firebird.” I smile, remembering Torran’s nickname for me. “A phoenix.”

“It’s beautiful,” He says quietly.

“You really like it?” I turn to face him, searching his eyes for the truth.

“I love it, Lottie. It’s so intricate and beautiful.” He strokes the back of his index finger lightly down my cheek. “Just like you.”

“I’m glad you think so.” I pull my tank back on and climb onto the bed next to him. “I was rebelling.”

“You? Rebelling? I’m surprised,” he replies dryly with a cocked eyebrow.

“Hey!” I shove his shoulder playfully. I love this. I love being back with him. I love having him back.

“I always knew you were a tough woman, but now, that tattoo is badass, Lotts.” He’s serious now, and I’m relieved he likes it.

“Right?” I grin.

“I’m just sorry I wasn’t with you when you had it done.” He drops his head regretfully.

“Look, Spike, we have to move forward. I’m sorry you weren’t there for it in person. But you were always with me, wherever I went. I probably would never have gotten it if it wasn’t for the fact that we were apart.” I feel like I should tell him about Torran, and our friendship, but I don’t want him to feel weird about it. I don’t know how I would have felt if he had spent weeks in the company of another woman while I wasn’t around. The green eyed monster rears its ugly head in my thoughts. I know I’m jealous, I always have been, not because I’m insecure about myself, but because I know Spike is such a kind soul and some women are just too calculated for him to see someone trying to wiggle their way in. Well, there will be none of that now that I’m back. Move on. Move forward.

“Maybe I should get one. I could get your name across my chest,” he muses, gazing at me softly.

“Then you would look like an idiot,” I remark bluntly and he chuckles. “Anyway, now I really have to pee.” I jump up off the bed once again, and head for the bathroom a little faster with more urgency this time.

“Lottie?” Spike calls out.

“WHAT?” I demand impatiently, crossing my legs to stop the need to pee.

He gazes at me for a second, blinking slowly and a gentle smile touches the corners of his lips. “I love you.”

“I know,” I smile. “I love you, too.”

Chapter 19

“I’m glad you agreed to come with me,” I say, before holding out my hand for Lottie to take. Lottie’s height, or lack of it, and the fact that my wheelchair is elevated, means that there isn’t much difference in our head height. I wheel in through the double doors to the rehab center, one hand on the controls and the other hand holding securely onto Lottie’s. It’s not that I think she’s going to run away, more like I don’t want to let her go. I’ve missed being able to touch her whenever I want and I’m damn well going to make up for it.

“Of course. What do you do here anyway?”

“Exercises, stretches, treatments on my muscles. Just stuff to try and improve my mobility and keep making progress.”

“Oh.” She swallows loudly and doesn’t say anything more.

“Hey,” I stop my wheels and tug gently on her hand to make her meet my eyes. “Look at me. If you’re not ready for this, I understand. But it’s pretty easy when you get used to the fact that this is how it has to be.”

“It’s not that, it’s just … I don’t know, I just hate that you have to do all of this, you know? Ignore me, I was just having a moment.” She waves her hand dismissively.

“That’s allowed. I’ve had enough moments to know that it’s hard to get your head around. I hated having to do this too. It’s not so scary once you get in there.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop being sorry, Lottie. Sorry wastes time. Now give me a kiss,” I order, tilting my chin up to her, giving her a wink and a naughty smile.

She frowns, narrowing her eyes at me. “Did my bossy rub off on you?”

“Maybe.” I shrug.

“I think I like it,” she remarks, placing her hand on my cheek and bending a little to press her lips against mine. “Just don’t do it too often. You’ll make me look soft.”

“I doubt that could ever happen, Lotts, and I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

“Okay. Do you feel comfortable? Are the straps okay?” Dan asks, locking the leg braces in place. We’ve been building up to this for a few weeks now and although it’s a little earlier than Dan would like, I want to give this a shot with Lottie here for the first time today.

“Yeah, they feel good, man.” I open and close my fists, loosening up my fingers and making sure my grip feels strong.

“Good. I want you to keep breathing, and listen to everything I say, yes?” He looks me directly in the eye, making sure I understand and that I am focused.

“Yep.”

“I don’t want you thinking you can do more just because your girl’s here. Don’t risk anything,” he warns sternly.

“Gotcha, Captain.”

“Ready? Feeling strong?” he asks with a grin, knowing that I wouldn’t back out now if the place was being flattened by an atomic bomb.

“Ready,” I reply, anticipation and excitement growing fast in my stomach.

I can do this. For her, I can do anything.

Dan does a round of last minute checks on the straps before standing in front of the gait harness system. “When you’re ready, my friend,” he instructs, holding on to the front of the harness system. There are a couple of other therapists on either side of the system, just for safety’s sake. I have worked hard to get the strength up in my upper body, with the aim of using this piece of equipment. I know it’s going to take a lot, but I also know I can do it. I grip the rails, take in a deep breath and pull up. The leg braces help me stand easier than I thought they would and although it takes most of my strength, I’m amazed that my legs actually take some of my weight.