Chapter 31

Radio silence.

You’d think after five years of enduring it, a day would be nothing.

Well, it wasn’t.

The next day was horrible. Actually, what’s worse than horrible? Torture? The plague? Whatever was worse I was there.

Waiting sucked.

Not hearing anything sucked.

Everything sucked.

I dragged my feet around the house waiting for a non-existent call or text amidst my mother’s prying eyes and the arrogant smirk on Michelle’s chapped lips.

“Broken heart, eh?” The fiery redhead slyly mused as I shuffled past her in the kitchen.

I pressed my lips together and tried my best to ignore her, focusing my attention on grabbing a box of orange juice from the fridge and drinking juice straight from it. It had been years since I did something so juvenile, but I just wanted to give Michelle anything to comment on that wasn’t about my fucking love life. Placing the carton of juice down, I turned and eyed her methodically. There must have been something on my face that said, “Don’t mess with me,” because soon enough she backed away, hands held palm side up.

Guess I still have some of that high school bad boy left inside of me.

That was basically how it went for the rest of the day. Michelle stayed away from me and my phone remained silent. I attempted to keep myself busy and even went so far as to log into my restaurant’s main email, but nothing helped push the lead weight off my chest. I was just about ready to pack up and say goodbye to Bethel Falls for good when something particular happened. My cell phone buzzed.

“This better not be a dumb trick,” I muttered, desperately.

I wheeled myself away from my laptop and basically launched myself onto my mattress. The years’ old springs groaned under my weight and sudden movement…or rather, from the thrashing of my heart against my rib cage. Wincing, I lifted up my phone and gulped before skimming the text message.

“Here goes nothing,” I mumbled.

Five years is a very long time and since this may be the last time I speak to you for another five years I just wanted to say…Thank you for the years of friendship. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you and I appreciate that. I know it sounds weird, but you actually taught me to aspire for what true love could really be. As inexplicable as it is, I can’t help but think that my inability to form relationships was due to the fact that I compared them all to you. Thank you for setting that bar for me and thank you for loving me, even if it was in your own special way. Goodbye again, old friend.

I blinked a few times, allowing her words to sink into my brain. I let out a sudden whoosh of air that I didn’t know I was holding. That is definitely not what I thought she’d say.

But what did I really think she would? That she’d follow me to Charleston? That we’d be a couple after all the bullshit I knew I had put her through?

“Stupid as always.” I sighed and glanced over at my luggage. At this point, leaving town was the only way to salvage what was left of my sanity. It may have been a selfish thing to do, but that was my strong suit, right?

Thinking better of it, I decided the least I could do was write a response back.

“What can I say that is deep, but not…” My voice trailed off. But not what? What could I say?

Rolling my eyes, I typed:

There are too many things to say for a text message. Meet me at the beginning of the end. Let’s talk.

Chapter 32

Okay, so I admit I may have been a little bit overdramatic, but honestly I needed to speak to Rocky—in person—and there was no other way I could bring myself to actually ask her without making myself feel too vulnerable. I admit, I may have been a bit brash, but it got my point across and for that I was happy. Of course the one thing I didn’t think about was how cold it would be meeting her outside on the football field, but hey, you win some you lose some.

It was nearing ten o’clock before I heard the crunching of footsteps making their way toward me. I stupidly overestimated her willingness to see me—or in the very least the time it would take her to read my text—and had been freezing my ass off on the ice cold metal bleachers for almost an hour. By the time I heard her light steps echo in the night, I was basically a blue popsicle.

Then suddenly, there she was…

The moonlight shined on her face, illuminating her soft elfin-like features, which was quite fitting since she’s always been magical to me. Her movements were graceful as if she were dancing to a silent melody playing specifically for her.

I gulped and heard myself call out, “Hi, Rocky.”

She didn’t respond and merely continued walking in my direction. She hugged her body tightly and once again I regretted asking to meet out in the freezing field. Her red pea coat only reached up to her mid-thigh and I felt a sudden urge to wrap my body around hers to keep her warm. Imagining our night in Charleston, my body temperature spiked a few more degrees. Shaking away the thoughts—though I really didn’t want to—I straightened my shoulders and commented, “Lady in red again, I see.”

She glanced down at herself and shrugged. “Not planned. It’s like the only winter coat I own. I really should buy more, considering how shitty the snow has been recently.”

“You hate the snow, I see,” I replied, not knowing what else to say.

“That cartoon Ice Queen can suck it.”

I couldn’t help but smile and watched as she made her way carefully up the bleachers. I was perched at the top, which probably wasn’t the safest idea. I anxiously watched her climb, letting out a sigh of relief when she neared me. “Please sit down.”

To my disappointment she sat a few inches away, as if feeling a need to put space in between us. “You wanted to see me?”

The icy tone in her voice threw me off. It was as if she were speaking to a stranger…but that was what I was, right? I frowned and pressed my hands together, desperate to feel some semblance of warmth even if it wasn’t from her. “What happened, Rocky?”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Um, you walked out on me again and—”

I could have laughed, but chose not to. I could have screamed, but I didn’t. Instead, I whispered, “That’s not what I meant. I mean how did I fall in love with you? I was never supposed to fall in love with anybody.”

She stammered, “I…I don’t know how to answer that.”

Before I lost my nerve, I continued to speak. “I was never a fan of love. All my life my parents were on some…dysfunctional bullshit. I thought finding someone special was just a stupid myth invented by the greeting card companies of the world.”

“Wow, never pegged you for a conspiracy theorist,” she replied sarcastically.

And just like that, something switched off in my head. I guess that’s what happens though, right? When you’re diving into your subconscious you start being unconscious. If somebody asked me what I said and what she said, I’d never be able to let them know. It wasn’t until I heard the word, Charleston that I snapped myself back into reality. You see, love with Rocky was always a dream—even when I actually had it, it still felt as if I was living in a fantasy world. It was probably why I never allowed myself to claim it—I knew I’d just wake up. However, Charleston was an entirely different reality and one we needed to face if we both wanted to move on once and for all. Unfortunately, Rocky confessed she didn’t plan on following me…at least not yet.

“Admit it. You were never going to come back, were you?” Rocky demanded in an accusatory tone. Her fingers clenched and unclenched helplessly. “If your mom didn’t get sick…You had your new life in Charleston. You weren’t ever going to stay here.”