“I think that would be the most responsible thing to do, right? The most adult?” Again, I say fuck being an adult!

“Yeah, I guess…Wow.”

“What?” I lifted an eyebrow.

A mischievous expression washed over her face. “I kissed, attacked you, and slept with you before an official date. Seems to me that I don’t know the meaning of taking it slow. Guess grown-up Rocky is a vixen, isn’t she?”

“Oh, you have no idea.” I grinned and ran my fingertips along her cheeks—the way only I would touch her. We were going to be fine. I was sure of it…

Now, I could tell you what we did afterwards—go into detail about our promising kiss or the way we joined together. Hell, I already told you about that night in our apartment! However, this one was different. Not that our first time sleeping together wasn’t anything short of special and wonderful, but this…this was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. Whereas the first time was admitting to something we’d both kept secret for years, this time was a promise of love, hope, and a future. I wouldn’t feel right going into detail about that, but I will tell you something I told Rocky…

There we lay, cramped up in the backseat of my SUV, fearing the time as the seconds ticked by. Rocky sunk her fingertips into my back and sighed. “I feel bad though. I love you…why can’t I just pick up and go?”

I gazed into her eyes and bit back the lump forming in the back of my throat. “It’s because you’re afraid I’ll cut you off again. It’s because you’re comfortable here. There are many reasons why, and you know what? It’s okay to feel them. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“But now we have to be apart again,” she reminded me.

“I have enough faith in us to make it through this minor hiccup,” I replied nonchalantly.

“How can you be so sure?”

As I gazed down at the woman I love, I couldn’t be any more sure. “Because after the expulsions, overbearing parents, five years of silence, and two hundred miles between us, we’re finally doing this right here, right now.”

“Fucking?”

“Making love. And Rocky, that love is going to be what’s going to get us through it. It’ll close the distance, and more importantly, it’ll help me keep my promise.”

Chapter 33

After six months of dating long distance, I couldn’t believe the day had finally come. Rocky was moving in with me! She was actually, ‘boxes-piled-high-in-my-car’ driving to Charleston for good!

I snuck a peek at her, wanting to pinch myself until my skin bled. Remembering our other friend’s elf erotica, I laughed. “Damn, guess Steph’s morbidity rubbed off on me after all. I’m starting to think in grotesque terms.”

“What was that?” she asked, never taking her eyes from the window.

“Never mind.” I chuckled lightly, but noticed the stiffening in her shoulders. All at once my initial jubilation dripped away. “Rocky…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she answered quickly—a little too quickly.

“Rocky,” I said warningly.

She sighed, allowing her shoulders to sag forward. “I guess I’m just nervous. I mean, you know what happened to me in college.” Her mouth trembled while her eyes glazed over, as if bad memories attacked her. I wanted to help fight those demons away, but you could only do so much to a ghost. “I screwed everything up at Greystone. I let my fear and worry manifest into something that just fucked me up.” Pausing, her head snapped in my direction, startling me. “What if I do that again? What if I fuck up things with you?”

Switching hands on the steering wheel, I reached out and grabbed one of hers. It felt cold and clammy, almost as if I was hugging a corpse.

Stephanie, get out of my mind!

I shuddered and felt the corners of my mouth tug down. “Do you not want to move in with me?”

Even saying the words out loud hurt me to no end. I knew there was no way I was turning my car around and driving her back to Bethel Falls. Besides the fact that we were only thirty-minutes shy of Charleston, I could not—would not spend another day without her. The last six months had already been torture enough, and I wanted nothing more than to put those days behind me.

“No,” she replied meekly.

My eyes widened in shock. “No, as you don’t want to move in with me?”

“No!” She shook her head quickly. “I mean, no of course I want to move in. You didn’t let me finish.”

“Oh.” My mouth formed a perfect circle and I sighed with relief. “Then you have nothing to worry about. I’m sure it’ll take a little getting used to, but trust me, in three weeks it’ll feel like you belong here.”

She nodded and glanced back outside. “Trust me; I wanted this as much as you do.”

“Wanted?” I muttered.

“Want.” With a sly smile on her face, she peeked over her shoulder and abruptly pulled her hand from mine, pinching my side.

“Hey!” I screeched, instinctively jerking at the wheel. The car swerved, a symphony of car horns blaring around us.

“Sorry!” she gasped. A pinkish tint worked its way from her clavicle up her neck and to her cheeks. “I didn’t know you’d freak out like that.”

“I didn’t freak out.” I took a deep breath, straightening the car. Afraid to take my eyes off the road, I shook my head. “Just trust me on something, okay?”

“You’re driving?” she quipped.

I pursed my lips. “No, not my driving.”

Her answering giggle allowed me to relax. “Sure we have to get used to living with each other and I know it’s scary, but it’s all normal. We’re taking a big step—”

“Huge!” she interjected.

This time I couldn’t help but glance over. “I’ll take care of you. I promise you, you’ll love it here. I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.”

Her lips pursed together. “I hope you’re right.”

“I am.”

Bowing her head, she finally lifted the corners of her mouth. “I’m sorry I’m ruining this moment. Don’t think I’m not happy about what we’re doing. I guess seeing the ‘Now Leaving Bethel Falls’ sign kind of freaked me out.”

“Completely normal,” I assured her.

And that’s what we both need in our lives, a sense of normalcy.

“Yeah…” Her voice trailed off, still sounding unconvinced.

“Rocky, this is good. I promise.”

She nodded again, but didn’t say another word. At that moment, I didn’t want to admit it, but my stomach was also in knots. She shifted uneasily, pulling her hand away from mine, squeezing it between her thighs.

I know something else that wants to be squeezed in there.

I shook away the inappropriate thought and grimaced. “Don’t make me feel like I forced you to move down here. You know you didn’t have to accept my invitation, right?”

Not that it wouldn’t have broken my heart.

Peeking at me with anxious eyes, she replied, “I know this sounds stupid, but to me it’s make or break time.”

“What do you mean by ‘break time’? This is something you wanted, right? I thought we both wanted this. We’ve been looking forward to moving in together for months.”

“It is, we have, and I do,” she answered quickly. “You can’t fault me for being nervous about this. I guess it’s just finally hitting me that I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and clock in at Rossi’s.”

“Again I tell you, it is completely normal how you’re feeling.” I wanted nothing more than to wake her up from whatever delusional thoughts she was experiencing. However, I knew I had to be patient. Just like she was always patient with me.

She nodded, but didn’t respond. Soon we were basked in silence, enveloped by the warm melodic crooning of an old ’80s rock album. We both sunk into our seats, pretending that we did not just have the most awkward conversation ever. One thing was for sure, this certainly was not the ride I was expecting to have.