She playfully swatted at my arm. “Shut up.” She giggled. “You could live there,” She pointed toward a building to my left. “I can live over there,” she pointed to a building on the right, “and we can meet here in the middle. It is a perfect set up.” Her face lit up with possibilities and I couldn’t help but smile.

I looked at the buildings she pointed to and then around the park before meeting her eyes. She had this look of determination in her eyes, like this is where she was meant to start her life and she wanted me along for the ride. I sat up straight and held my hand out to her.

“You got a deal, Red.”

She shook my outstretched hand, beaming at me. I raised my arm from the back of the bench and wrapped it around her, pulling her to my side. “I told you we would be good for each other.” I kissed the top of her head as she giggled and snuggled into my side.

I was happy that she was open to us being friends, but a part of me felt like that wasn’t enough. My feelings for this girl were moving way past friendship, and that was something I was not ready to deal with.

Chapter 10

Alex (Now)

I couldn’t sleep.

“I’m in love with Drew.” I just kept repeating it over and over, like if I said it enough it would start to make sense. I felt so stupid. This was ludicrous. What was I thinking? This was going to ruin everything. I couldn’t tell him, but if I didn’t tell him it would eat at me.

This was all Wiley’s fault. Why did she have to point this out? I could have lived my life in glorious ignorance, my friendship with Drew intact. Now what?

Frustrated, I jumped out of bed and dragged myself to the bathroom. Maybe a bath would help calm my nerves. I turned on the water as hot as I could stand, letting it fill the tub as I turned to clip my hair up.

As I got undressed, I stared straight ahead without really seeing anything, then slipped into the tub. From the steam coming off the top, I knew my skin should be scorching right now, but I was too numb to feel anything. That was why I couldn’t sleep. I kept shifting from rambling panic to stunned numb silence.

I watched as the water dripped and rippled into the tub from the faucet, begging my mind to clear. Drew was my friend. He was my family, all I had, really. I was so alone when I met him and he saved me. He brought me out of the fog my parents’ death left me in and gave me a home, a chance to be a part of his life.

His family was my family, his friends were my friends, and losing him would mean losing all of them too. I didn’t want to lose the one person who made me feel whole again and the family I loved right along with him. It wasn’t something I wanted to risk for a chance at something I knew would never work out.

Drew and I were always so different. While that seemed to work in our friendship, it would be a disaster in a relationship. We would kill each other. It would be nothing but fighting and misery until one of us finally gave up. Then I would be alone again, with no family and no Drew.

Besides, I was nothing like the girls he was usually interested in, so there was no chance he was interested in me. He had a tendency to go for girls with more silicone than substance. I mean, sure, we’ve harmlessly flirted every now and then, but that was usually due to a lot of alcohol and feeling comfortable with each other. It’s not like he would ever look at me that way. Drew saw me as his best friend, and that is all he saw when he looked at me.

I thought back to the dance in the square. It felt so good to be in his arms. The whole scene was incredibly romantic. An involuntary sigh escaped my lips. No! No reading into little things. Shit like that is what makes perfectly normal women lose their minds after rejection. If I started reading into every look or sweet gesture of affection, I would end up in the fetal position in a dark corner of my apartment muttering “The signs, the signs.”

No! I will not be that girl! I won’t! I made my decision. I would force myself to get past this. Things would stay the same between Drew and me. I wouldn’t lose the best thing in my life because I was stupid enough to fall for him. Resigned, I pulled myself from the tub, dried off, and dropped back into bed. I could do this. I could.

***

Ping, ping.

“Ugh,” I grumbled.

Ping, ping.

Stupid bicycle.

Ping, ping.

I finally registered what was going on and sat up, squinting against the light coming through my window. I reached over to the nightstand for my phone. It wasn’t there. I made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a yawn.

As I got out of bed, I noticed my crystal clutch sitting on the chair in the corner of my room. I clicked it open and pulled out the phone before it could ping at me again. I swiped a finger across the screen and it lit up with three messages from Drew.

Drew: Football in the park, you coming?

Drew: Red?

Drew: You coming?

I didn’t think I was ready to face him just yet, but I usually went to the games. If I didn’t show, he would think something was up and come find me. This was yet another downside of falling for your best friend, the concern for your well-being. Normally, this was something I valued. Drew cared about me. Great. However since my revelation last night, Drew caring about me would make it damn near impossible to avoid him. Usually, when you fall for a guy who you know doesn’t feel the same way, you can hide and avoid the places he will be ‘til you can get over it. I don’t have that luxury.

Taking a deep breath, I replied.

Alex: Yeah sorry see you there .

Drew: Want me to wait for you?

No way was I ready to be alone with him. Seeing him at all was going to be hard. Being alone with him was going to be torture.

Alex: No go on. Need a shower.

Drew: K

I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I rested my head in my spot next to the sink, wishing I’d followed through with the idea to hang a pillow here.

I finished brushing my teeth and looked into the mirror. My eyes were puffy and swollen from crying and had deep purple circles under them. I looked like someone had punched me in the face. No amount of concealer would cover that. At least in the park, I could get away with sunglasses.

I brushed my hair and threw on shorts, a tank top, and my green chucks. I grabbed a blanket, my keys, and the biggest pair of sunglasses I had on the way out the door. Time to get this over with.

I stopped at Down the Street on my way to Grover Park. I ordered an extra large coffee and a dozen donuts for the guys. Well, they could have the leftovers since I was fully prepared to eat my feelings.

When I got to the park, the game was already in full swing. I spotted Millie sitting in a camping chair under our tree and headed in her direction. She broke into a smile and waved when she spotted me.

“Hey, preggo!”

“Hey, Alex.” She giggled.

I handed her the donuts and backed away slowly. It was the safe thing to do. Just hand the food to the pregnant woman and nobody gets hurt. I spread out my blanket and dropped down, crossing my legs beneath me.

The guys had been playing for a bit. They were already covered in dirt and sweat. They played what they called touch football, although if they touched me like that they would definitely end up breaking a few of my bones.

Drew, Sean, and David were always on the same team. I didn’t know the other guys well. I’m pretty sure one of them was named Frank. I think he was one of David’s old fraternity brothers, but I wasn’t sure. The other guys rarely lingered after the game.