“It’s none of your business!”

I didn’t want to listen. Every instinct told me to head to the bathroom, where I couldn’t hear them, but I wanted to know if Drew was going to come clean and tell David about us.

“How long?” David asked.

“What?”

“How long, Drew?”

“A while.”

“Are you kidding me?” David yelled.

“It was just sex, man! Let it go!” Drew yelled.

My heart shattered. I knew this would happen and I let myself believe that we could have more. I was furious at him and mostly at myself for buying into his bullshit. How could I have been so stupid?

I was so upset that I had stopped listening, tuning back in when I heard David’s voice. “…for years. I can’t believe this! You are unbelievable! You need to get your shit together, little bro.” With that, he stormed from the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

I finally moved to the bed when I heard the door slam. I sat at the edge, feeling numb, my body running cold from both the lack of clothing and Drew’s dismissal.

He pushed the door open and froze when he saw my expression. I refused to cry. I already proved how weak and stupid I could be. No need to add to my humiliation.

“You bastard,” I said quietly. I lifted my head to look at him.

“No. Red,” he pleaded. “You don’t understand.”

“Understand what, Drew?” I shouted, getting to my feet. “That you used me? That I told you that I loved you and you took it as an opportunity to fuck me?”

“It’s not like that Red, I…”

“The fuck it isn’t! I gave you an out. I asked you if this was just sex and you said you wanted to see what could happen between us.” I grabbed the sides of my head in frustration. “I can’t believe I was so stupid to believe you changed.”

A traitor tear slipped from my eye and rolled down my cheek. He watched it fall as he swallowed hard. I was sure the panic in his eyes was from being caught in his little scheme. Drew never wanted me. I was just the girl who said no.

“Well, it took you six years, but you finally got that notch you wanted. Congratulations!” I pushed past him toward the door. He reached for my arm to stop me and I whirled on him. “Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me!” I headed for the door, grabbing my shirt on my way out.

I was pulling it over my head when Drew came after me. “Please, Red! I didn’t mean…”

I stopped and held a hand up to his face. “Don’t. I don’t want to hear it. I heard enough already!”

Tears welled in my eyes as I grabbed my bag and headed to the door. I refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I jabbed the call button to the elevator until the doors finally slid open.

I stepped into the elevator and jabbed the button for the lobby as Drew came running down the hall. “Alex! Please, I… ”

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the cold, metal wall as the doors to the elevator closed in his face.

***

I didn’t sleep at all that night. I had to drag myself into work the next day. With Madeline in New York for the rest of the week, I had to be on point. So, armed with my best fake smile, I did what I could to make it through the day, even though I was dying inside.

I was still so angry at Drew, at myself. How did I end up here? This was my fault. I let him in against all of my better judgment. All of my instincts told me he didn’t love me, but I went with it anyway.

I had lunch with Wiley at my desk and told her everything, from our date, the bar, to David walking in, right up to when I stormed out. Her face was a kaleidoscope of reactions. When it was all said and done, she put her hand over mine.

“I’m so sorry, Lexie,” she said. I didn’t even care that she used that stupid name.

She pulled her hand back and shook her head. “I feel like this is all my fault. I encouraged you to tell him.”

“Wiley, seriously? This was not your fault. Drew has always been a player. I fell for all the same bullshit I have seen him pull on girls for years.” I wiped a tear from my face and cleared my throat “Why would I be any different?”

“Because you are his best friend.”

I looked up at her as tears filled my eyes. “He’s my world, Wiley. I know that sounds stupid, but he came into my life when I had no one. He made me a part of his life, his family.” The tears flooded down my cheeks. “He’s my family. Without him, I’m alone again.”

“Aww honey,” she said, pulling me into a hug.

I wanted Drew. I was hurting so badly that I wanted him to make it better, like he used to, but that just wasn’t an option for me anymore.

***

I made it through the rest of the day, but just barely. I had a minor catastrophe at the Lawford penthouse. I had to locate a wingback chair and get it refinished and upholstered in a day. Luckily I found a vintage shop downtown that had two. I got everything done and the chair was set to be delivered in the morning ahead of schedule and under budget. I was kicking ass with work. I should’ve wanted to celebrate, but at the end of the day, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

After work, I decided to walk the long way home to clear my head. It was a nice day, warmer than usual this time of year. I watched the happy couples as they passed me. What is it about when you’re single or going through a break up that everyone seems to be a couple except for you?

When I reached the square, I heard music. A jazz band was playing a song I recognized: “La Vie en Rose.” I closed my eyes and let the notes run over me. The memory of dancing with Drew as this song played from his phone was so clear in my mind, I could still feel his arms around me.

I kept walking toward my building, listening to the notes rise and fall, wishing I could just go back to that moment when we were happy and our relationship was uncomplicated, when he was still Drew. I stopped and closed my eyes, just listening to the lyrics.

“They’re playing our song.”

I opened my eyes to see Drew leaning against my building.

“You need to leave,” I said, proud that my voice sounded calm and in control.

“I can’t.”

He pushed off of the building and came toward me. When he was about two feet from me, I stepped back, not wanting him to get any closer. If he touched me, I wouldn’t be able to resist him. I took a step toward the front entrance and Drew stepped in my way, blocking my exit.

“Alex, please.” He looked so hurt and so beautiful. I wanted to hug him and then slap him.

“Drew, get out of my way,” I said through clenched teeth.

“I can’t leave things like this. I need you, Alex. Please.” He reached out, his fingers brushing against my elbow.

“Don’t you get it? There‘s nothing left.” I wrenched my arm away. “It’s done. You can’t fix this with an apology and a charming smile. You broke my heart, Drew!” I took a breath and shook my head as the tears welled in my eyes. “The worst part?” I said. “I shouldn’t have expected anything more.”

He winced and took a step back, looking like he had been shot. I took the opportunity to bail. I ran through the front doors and straight up to my apartment, slamming and locking the door behind me.

I set down my stuff and poured a glass of wine. In the living room, I set my glass on the coffee table and opened all the windows. I leaned against the window frame, listening to the sweet melodic jazz that floated through my window, letting the tears stream down my face.

***

It had been almost two weeks since Drew had shown up at my place. He continued to call and text, but I couldn’t bring myself to listen, so I just deleted all the texts. I didn’t want to see him. I went out of my way to avoid places he would go, which included The Den.

After the second time I skipped trivia, Sean called. “Hey, beautiful. How ya doin’?” he said in a sing-song voice.

“Okay, I guess.”

“Liar.”

I smiled. “You got me. So, what’s going on? Has Papa Jack let you back in the bar yet?”