Levi’s head turns on the bed and his brows knit together. “Who was that? Was that them?”

I don’t want to say the word, but he can see just from the look on my face that his suspicions are correct.

“Fuuuuuck,” he drags out through clenched teeth. Pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, he shouts, “Fuck!”

“Levi, it will be okay. Everything will—”

“If you say ‘okay’ one more time, I’m going to lose my shit, Vista.” Shooting up, I shrink back as he resumes pacing the floor. “Me being here is a problem. I’ve just made things worse for you. I never should have come back here.”

My heart thunders in my chest as I listen to him talk. No. No! The last thing I want is for him to go away again. “Levi, stop.” Carefully, I approach him and block his path. “Don’t say that. I want you here. I need you here with me.”

His tranquil blue eyes, now filled with remorse and anger, hold mine prisoner. The longer I stare into them, the more I realize that there’s something else in there too—finality. He’s already made his choice. He’s leaving.

Tears cascade down my face when I realize that there’s nothing I’ll be able to say or do to make him change his mind. I’ve already lost him.

“As long as I’m here, they’re never going to leave you alone. I can’t stay here knowing that there might be a repeat of tonight, and it would be my fault. I won’t put you two in danger like that.”

“Please don’t do this. Please,” I beg, my voice nothing more than a weak whisper.

He examines the destruction on my face and releases a pained groan. Drawing me back into his arms, Levi holds me tightly. I grab onto him with everything I’ve got and close my eyes, inhaling the scent of exhaust and leather. I won’t let him go. I won’t.

But Levi’s stronger than I am. With firm hands, he pries me loose and sets me away. “I’m sorry, princess, but I have to go. If I stay here, I’m going to end up killing someone and the last thing either of us wants or needs is for me to end up in prison. It’s better this way.”

Staring at the floor through bleary eyes, I refuse to look at him. How can I, when he’s ripping my heart out? “Don’t do this,” I choke out. I know we can make this work. He’s overreacting. If he’d just take some time to calm down, he’d see that. I could make him see that.

“It’s already done,” he says gravely.

The finality in his statement sends a surge of anger rushing through me, igniting my blood. “So that’s it? You’re just going to walk away?”

“I’m leaving, but we’re not done. Vista,” he says when I still refuse to spare him a glance. His boots reenter my line of vision and he grasps my chin, forcing my head back. Those blue eyes are fierce when he repeats, “We’re not done. It won’t be like this forever. I’ll come back when all of this blows over, when they’ve got something else to focus their energy on.”

Jerking my chin from his grasp, I cross my arms over my chest and steel myself against everything I’m feeling. It’s the only way I’m going to keep from crumpling to the floor. Then I say something that I will probably regret for the rest of my life.

“If you walk out that door,” I say with a voice that shakes, “then don’t bother coming back.”

His hands ball into fists at his sides and the muscles in his jaw flex, but Levi says nothing. I can hear his heavy breaths, feel the words that are left unspoken hovering between us, and as much as my insides are screaming for a different outcome, we both know how this is going to play out.

My eyes close of their own accord as his hand lifts and the feel of his calloused fingertips traces the side of my face.

I know the instant he walks away from me. The air stirs, growing colder in his wake, and then I hear the faint click of the door as he walks out of my life.

All at once, my heart seizes and my lungs stop functioning. A hiccupping sob rips from my chest and I stumble to the bed, falling down on top of the blankets and curling into myself for I don’t know how long. I don’t know anything anymore. It feels like I’m dying, and right now, I want to. I just want to close my eyes and never wake up so I don’t have to feel this way, so I don’t have to face the horrible truth that, for the second time in my life, a man I love has chosen to walk away.

28

It’s Groundhog’s Day. This is the classic example of life imitating art. I get up, shower, eat, and fend off cameras and questions on my way to work and back, and then barricade myself inside my apartment. Rinse and repeat.

This isn’t a life. Every day it becomes clearer that I can’t raise a child like this. It’s been over a month and there’s no sign of the paparazzi backing off or losing interest. In fact, the more Levi stays away, the more they seem to latch on.

There are all kinds of stories floating around. My personal favorite is that I’m some gold digger that saw a golden opportunity and used Levi to try and jumpstart a career in show business.

As if.

To make matters worse, now that they’re running out of real stories to spin, they’re rehashing old headlines. Just the other day I caught a TMZ clip speculating on whether or not Levi was secretly dating an ex-girlfriend slash model because they were spotted in the same city on the same weekend.

I know for a fact that Levi was there for a radio interview, because I stayed up late to listen to it, but that doesn’t keep the doubt from setting in. Is he still mine?

He calls me every night before bed. Sometimes even in the morning just to say hi. But I’m still upset with him for leaving. It’s not that I don’t understand why he did it. I just don’t think it was necessary. A part of me even feels as if he’s given me the shaft and left me to deal with all the hard parts while he’s off gallivanting around a new city every week. Who knows what he could be up to, who he might be spending his time with.

Do I still have a hold on him? Or am I just kidding myself? Maybe he’s just keeping contact because he feels he has to for the baby.

To say that the distance and the way we parted ways is messing with my head would be an understatement.

At least I have my mom and work to help keep me grounded. Speaking to her a couple times a week, I think, has helped to keep us both sane.

“How are you today?” Mom asks her usual question, making me smile.

Since it’s the weekend, my only plan is to stay in bed all day unless it’s to use the bathroom or get food. I’m not about to tell her that, though. It will just make her worry more than she already does. “I’m good. You?”

“Doing all right. Court was yesterday. David is pushing for a dismissal, but my lawyer is confident that he’s not going to get it. Once the evidence is turned over that he’s been unfaithful throughout our marriage and violated the prenup, the judge will rule in our favor.”

I like how she continues to include me in her fight, as if I have a personal stake in the outcome other than seeing her happy.

“I don’t imagine David will be too thrilled about that.”

Chuckling, Mom says, “No, I don’t suppose he will. Guess he should have thought about that before he married me.”

I laugh because my mom comes off as the mousy type, easily molded. She even had me fooled for a while there, but she is stronger than any of us gave her credit for. Smarter too. I never would have imagined that while she was sun bathing and seemingly turning a blind eye to David’s infidelity, that she was actually formulating a plan to take him down.

“But enough about me,” Mom says, throwing off her worries with nothing more than a shrug of her shoulders. “How are you and Levi doing?”

Immediately, my mood takes a dive. “Well, he’s still running around the country, if that says anything.”