But what am I doing instead?

I’m missing her.

I sigh deeply as my phone rings in my pocket. I don’t want to talk to anybody. I should go in the music room and close up in there for the night. Playing soothes me.

But when I glance at the phone, it’s my baby sister Gabby.

“Hey, Gabs.”

“Hi Dec. I’m calling to invite you out for dinner on Sunday. We’re inviting the whole family. Y’all haven’t been out in a while, and Ailish is getting so big, and she misses you.”

“She’s an infant,” I reply, but can’t help but smile. “As long as she’s fed and dry, she doesn’t miss anyone.”

“Not true,” she says. “Say you’ll come.”

“I’ll come.”

“Good. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

I shake my head and pace the kitchen. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Don’t lie to me, Declan Francis.”

“You sound like Mom.” I chuckle as I rinse a glass out and load it into the dishwasher.

“I’m a mom,” she reminds me. She’s the best fucking mother there is. Her son, Sam, is smart and funny, and has had me wrapped around his little finger since the day he was born nine years ago.

And little Ailish is the sweetest baby ever born. Gabby and Rhys did a good job there.

“Talk to me. Is this about Callie?”

“How do you know about Callie?” I ask and resume pacing the kitchen.

“Beau told me,” she says cheerfully. “He says you’re deeply in love and that we can expect you to elope any day now.”

“Beau is delusional, and we should get him medical help as soon as possible.”

Damn brother.

“I figure the truth is somewhere in the middle,” she says. She always was a smart girl.

“I like her,” I confess softly. “I want her.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Duh.” I roll my eyes and try to figure out how much I want to tell her. But before I know it, I’ve told her everything, from the moment I told Callie I was taking her out to dinner, to the moment she walked out of my house not half an hour ago. Gabby is quiet the whole time, letting me tell the story.

“That’s it?” she asks.

“That’s it.”

“I really think you need to talk to her. Tell her how you’re feeling.”

“She’s decided that we’re friends, Gabs. And the thing is, she’s an awesome friend. I enjoy her. She’s smart, we laugh, we have a good time together.”

“But you want more.”

I take a deep breath. “I want more. I don’t know where it will lead, but I want more.” There’s a pause on the other end of the line. “Are you sniffling?”

“It’s just so great,” she says with tears in her voice. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever find anyone, and you have.”

“I’m not proposing.”

“No, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard you this smitten with anyone.”

“Men don’t get smitten.”

“Yes they do.”

“No. They don’t.”

“Hold on.” She doesn’t even bother to take the phone away from her mouth when she calls out to Rhys, her husband. “Babe! Declan says men don’t get smitten, but they do, right? That’s what I thought. Rhys is smitten with me,” she informs me.

“Of course he is. He wants to get laid tonight.” I laugh, only slightly uncomfortable at the thought of my baby sister having sex.

“My point is, just talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Maybe she feels the same way, but doesn’t want to tell you.”

“I’m scared,” I admit. “If I tell her I want more now, she could pull the rug out from under the whole thing, and then I lose her altogether.”

“You could lose her anyway,” she says softly. “But you never know if you don’t try.”

“Thanks, baby girl. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

“Bring Callie!”

“Too soon. Bye.”

I hang up before she can argue further and march into the music room.

I need to play.

***

Here goes nothing.

It’s still early in the evening, but it’s not a typical busy night, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to get Callie alone, even if it’s just for a few moments so I can talk to her. I don’t want to wait until later tonight to walk her to her car.

I walk in and sigh in relief. It’s slow in The Odyssey, with just a few tables occupied, and a couple of guys at the bar. The roof is closed, which tells me it’s been mellow all day.

Perfect.

As I walk toward the bar, I see Callie at the far end talking to a tall suit-type who’s handing her flowers.

“Oh, Pete, you didn’t have to do that.” She’s smiling as she buries her nose in the blooms.

“Well, dinner out just hasn’t worked out, so I decided to come to you.”

Who the fuck is this?

“We’ve both been busy,” Callie says as she shifts her gaze and finds me standing not far behind Flower Boy. Her eyes widen and her cheeks pinken. I stand firm, cross my arms over my chest, and watch unapologetically.

Mine.

“I know things ended between us a long time ago,” the dude continues, “but I’ve never forgotten you, Cal. Let me take you out, like old times.”

Fuck that.

“Callie,” I say, my voice calm but firm. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Adam can get you a drink. We’re having a conversation,” Pete says, obviously pissed at being interrupted.

I bet he’s been practicing his speech for a week.

“Now,” I say simply.

“I’ll be back,” she says to Pete, then walks around the bar and motions for me to follow her. As soon as we’re in her office, I close the door and move her against it, caging her in.

“Is he who you want, Callie?” I’m panting, adrenaline taking over. Callie’s blue eyes are wide and pinned to mine. She’s gripped on to my shirt over my ribs, holding on tightly. “Say he is, and I’ll leave right now.”

She blinks once, then again.

“That’s what I thought.” I plunge one hand into her soft hair, fist my hand in it and tilt her head back, and kiss her. Hard. She moans, long and deep, pulling me to her with those hands, and I’m lost in her. Our tongues explore each other, and then I nibble the corner of her mouth and kiss her softly. “I’m tired of trying to keep my hands off of you,” I murmur, my lips still against hers. She’s hitched one mile-long leg up around my hip, and my cock is hard and pulsing against her. “I know you just want the friend thing, but damn it, Calliope, I don’t.”

Her eyes widen, and when she would speak, I cut her off. “No, this is my turn to talk. If you want to waste your time with the douche with the flowers, fine, it’s none of my business, but I can’t watch it. I’m sorry, I can’t just hang back and be your friend when I want you so badly I can’t breathe. Yesterday was the best day and the worst, all at the same time because I had you with me, but I couldn’t touch you.”

“Declan—”

“I want to talk with you, learn you, lose myself in you. All of those things. And I don’t have any experience in that shit, but damn it, I want it with you. Because those little things, Callie? The talking as I walk you to your car, or laughing with you as we demo my house? Eating pizza on the porch? They aren’t little things to me. I’ve never done that with any other woman that I’m not related to by blood. I never wanted to.

“Until you, and it’s confused the hell out of me. All I want is a chance to start this over with you. We did it all backwards, and that’s on me. I get it. But damn it, let me try it again, because if you don’t, it’ll be the biggest regret of my life.”

Her mouth opens and closes, as though she doesn’t know what to say first. But finally she says, “Pete’s waiting.”

Well.

I guess I know where she stands.

I back away, untangle my hand from her hair and walk away, not looking back, through the bar and out into the dark evening.

I poured my heart out and she chose someone else.

Fuck.

***

The music is loud, but not loud enough to drown out my thoughts. Boy, did I blow it. I’m a grade-A asshole. I had the chance to have something really great with Callie, and I messed up so bad that all she sees when she looks at me is a friend, and she’s sweet on the moron with the flowers.