“I know! Why didn’t we do that?”
“Because we were both secretly afraid the other one might be a lunatic psycho in person.”
“Oh. Right. I forgot that part.” Landry smiles at her, marveling at how quickly she grew to feel comfortable with Elena in the past twenty-four hours. “I’m really glad you’re not crazy after all.”
“There are so many people in my life,” Elena tells her as they pull their bags along toward the security area, “who would find that comment amusing.”
“Like . . . ?”
“My brother, for one.”
“Why is that?”
“He thinks I’m crazy,” she replies with a wry smile.
Elena, Landry realizes, never really writes much about her family, and she’s barely talked about them at all this weekend.
Meanwhile, I’ve talked about nothing but. She must be sick of hearing about Rob and the kids . . .
But I can’t help it. I miss them.
“The thing is,” Elena says, “I kind of had a hand in raising him.”
“Your brother?”
“Right. And our childhood wasn’t exactly—well, you know we lost our mom when we were pretty young.”
It was a terrible train accident. That, Landry remembers. Elena had mentioned something about it last night, when they were talking about Meredith, how they hoped she hadn’t suffered.
“I bet she never knew what hit her,” Elena had said. “Like my mother.”
“That would be a blessing,” Kay agreed. “It’s what she would have wanted. It was dying that she dreaded. Not death itself. Dying.”
“Don’t we all?” Elena had asked.
Landry didn’t say that she dreaded all of it. Dying. Death.
Because of her family. Rob, and the kids . . . she couldn’t bear to think of them left here to muddle through without her.
Meredith would have understood that. But Kay and Elena don’t have husbands or children; Kay doesn’t have any family at all, and Elena isn’t close to hers. They don’t have to worry about leaving behind people who still need them desperately.
Maybe I’d feel different if I were completely on my own.
“After our mother died,” Elena is saying, “our father kind of . . . checked out. He was a good dad before she died, but afterward, he . . . well, he couldn’t cope with losing her.”
Landry nods as if she understands, and she’s trying to. If something were to happen to her, there’s no telling how Rob—also a good dad—might react.
Nothing can happen to me. He needs me. The kids need me.
Back when she was first diagnosed, that thought ran through Landry’s mind all day, every day. She used to pray that she could at least see her kids through childhood. Now that it’s nearly over—Addison is on the brink of eighteen!—she knows that’s not nearly enough time.
I want to be here for all of it: their high school and college graduations, their wedding days . . . I want to be a grandma; I want to grow old with Rob, I want—
She wants what anyone wants. What Meredith wanted.
To be needed.
Those were the wants and needs she’d written about in that blog, the one they were talking about yesterday.
The TSA agent standing by the roped-off security checkpoint interrupts Landry’s thought process and the conversation. “I need to see your boarding passes and IDs, please, ladies.”
They show their paperwork.
As they roll their luggage into the long line snaking toward the body scan machines, Elena resumes talking about her family. “My dad drank. A lot. And when he did—which was all the time, basically—he kind of left us to our own devices. Sometimes I tried to mother my brother; other times, I was a wild child who should have been reined in. Only nobody did that for me.”
“Are you close to your brother now?”
“I might be if he weren’t overseas. He’s in the military. The nice regimented lifestyle he always craved, poor kid.”
“And your dad?”
“He doesn’t live far from me.”
“Do you see him?”
“Not really,” is the answer, delivered in a case closed tone. “So listen, about next weekend . . .”
Right. Next weekend.
Elena and Kay are coming to Alabama: they’ve already bought their tickets online.
Elena stops pulling her bag to consult her boarding pass, then an overhead sign. “I have to go that way. I’m boarding in a few minutes.”
“I’m going that way.” Landry points in the opposite direction. She’s not boarding for well over another hour, but there seemed to be no reason to hang around the hotel alone—and there’s no reason to follow Elena to her gate.
“I guess this is good-bye then, for now.” Elena throws her arms around her. “I don’t really want to go back.”
“Hang in there, with the Tony thing,” Landry says, remembering.
Last night Elena told her and Kay that she’d blocked his number on her cell phone, so at least he can’t call her anymore.
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” she says now. “I dread seeing him at school tomorrow morning. I really hope this week flies by. Not just because of Tony, or because it’s my last week of work before the summer, but because I can’t wait to see you and Kay again.”
“Same here,” Landry says hollowly, hoping that by then there will have been an arrest and they can all put this nightmare behind them.
Long distance driving, for whatever reason, is somehow easier for Kay today.
Maybe because she’s once again accustomed to being at the wheel after yesterday’s long journey.
Maybe because the funeral—and all the accompanying dread—is behind her now, just as the outskirts of Cincinnati have fallen away in a rearview mirror, showing nothing but the road she’s already traveled.
Or maybe it’s simply because she’s surprisingly well-rested.
After wrestling with her thoughts—and uncooperative, unfamiliar bedding—into the wee hours, she’d managed to finally fall asleep, and stay asleep, for a full eight hours, and then some.
She was still sound asleep in her room when Landry called to tell her they were going to breakfast.
“Come on down and join us,” she said.
“I’m not even dressed yet.”
“We’ll wait.”
“I don’t want to hold you up.”
“You’re not. We don’t even have to leave for the airport for a few hours. Come on. Breakfast for three.”
Over pancakes and coffee, they again discussed Meredith, and the Jenna Coeur business. But they managed to laugh a lot, too, and made plans for next weekend. Decadent desserts, Netflix movies, a beach day.
“I can’t wait,” Kay told them. “I’ve never even seen the ocean.”
“And here I was afraid you were going to back out,” Elena said.
“Why would I?”
“You’re afraid to fly.”
“I know, but you’re my friends. Who knows how many more opportunities we’ll have to see each other?”
“Lots more opportunities,” Elena said firmly.
Kay allows her hands to tighten on the steering wheel. Again she wonders, What if . . . ?
No. Nothing can happen to the others, to any of them. It’s going to be fine, from now on. Forget cancer. Forget Jenna Coeur, whoever, wherever, she is. Forget Tony, crazy Tony, Elena’s so-called stalker. Nothing bad is going to happen, not to any of them. Not ever again.
“Whatever you do,” Landry told them before they parted ways, “please don’t mention next weekend to any of the other bloggers and don’t post anything about it online. Just in case . . . you know.”
Yes. They know.
They promised her they wouldn’t say anything.
“I just wish I hadn’t told Jaycee,” Elena mentioned yet again.
“If Jaycee is just Jaycee, we have nothing to worry about,” Kay pointed out.
“And if she’s not . . .”
“We still have nothing to worry about. It’s not like she has any reason to hurt any of us. And it’s not like Elena gave her your address.”
“It wouldn’t be hard to find.”
“But why would she want to?” Kay asked. She shook her head. “I really don’t feel like she’s a threat to any of us. Even if she is Jenna Coeur. That might be a bizarre coincidence, but it’s not like it puts us in danger.”