“And I’ve got the outside of the school covered,” Duncan said, removing a remote control from his backpack. He flipped a switch and a dozen floating pods materialized in the air. “I brought the Hovercraft Robotic Surveillance L-114a’s.”

“Um, the what?” Jackson said.

“Don’t you guys have any interest in the gadgets our science team creates for us?” Duncan said, sighing. “These are floating cameras with a space-age camouflage mode that makes them invisible to the naked eye. They’re whisper-quiet, too.”

He pushed a button and the machines vanished as quickly as they appeared.

“I have them positioned all over the campus,” Duncan continued. “If Ms. Holiday shows up, we’ll see her coming a mile away.”

“Smart thinking, Gluestick,” Ruby said. “All right, let’s keep our real eyes on Tessa, and remember, she’s a person surrounded by dignitaries and royalty. If you must talk to her—and I highly recommend that you don’t—but if you do, try not to act like morons and idiots.”

Her teammates stared back at her, offended. Then they scowled and walked away, leaving Ruby all alone.

“Not that you act like morons and idiots … all the time. Just some of the time!” she called after them.

Ruby stalked Tessa Lipton. She followed her down hallways and into bathrooms, and hovered while Tessa drank from the water fountain. It wasn’t long before Ruby had a pretty clear picture of who the first daughter was: the queen of Sugarland Academy. Tessa held every student in the palm of her hand. Kids raced to get her lunch. They rubbed her tired feet. They carried her books to class. One even offered to chew her food. At first Ruby chalked up Tessa’s popularity to her being the daughter of the most famous person in the United States, but when she was told the son of the country’s most famous actor and the daughter of the world’s biggest-selling hip-hop artist also went to Sugarland, she realized that was too simple of an explanation.

There had to be another reason, and Ruby was determined to discover it. She decided to do recon at lunch, so she invited herself to eat with a trio of girls whose table had the best view of Tessa’s “permanent” seat. Their names were Deonne, Charlotte, and Mary Alice, and as luck would have it they were the best of friends, notorious gossips, and overly impressed by wealth and fame.

“You’re the daughter of Harvey Pickens—the squirtable-cheese billionaire? Wow! You are so lucky. At my house, our servants are forced to slice the cheese by hand!” Deonne said. She was as thin as a flagpole, with a set of braces that even Jackson would find unsettling.

“My father says it is unbecoming to feel sympathy for the help,” Charlotte whispered. She wore sunglasses and said everything in a hushed tone.

“Oh, Charlotte. We’re not barbarians,” Mary Alice said. She had long, luxurious red hair and more freckles on her face than there were stars in the sky. “If cheese can be squirted, the servants are wasting valuable time best spent running our baths and attending to our ponies.”

“I guess you are right,” Charlotte said.

“So, I hear the president’s daughter goes here,” Ruby said.

“Oh, yes,” Deonne replied. “Tessa. Quite a lovely girl.”

“Lovely,” Charlotte peeped.

“A true gem,” Mary Alice added.

Ruby was suddenly envious. “So you’re friends with her?”

“Oh, no,” Mary Alice said. “She’s horrible.”

“Horrid, really,” Deonne agreed.

“Foul,” Charlotte said, then looked around to make sure she was not heard.

“I’m confused,” Ruby said. “I thought you said she was lovely.”

“To look at,” Charlotte whispered. “But her personality is awful.”

“She’s mean! And rude!” Mary Alice added.

“She’s what my yacht captain would call ‘insufferable,’” Deonne said. “But you didn’t hear that from us.”

“She has a lot of power at this school,” Mary Alice said.

“You don’t want to cross her. Last year she was so mean, a girl fled the country and sought asylum in Iraq,” Charlotte whispered.

When Ruby ran into Flinch in the hallway, his face was covered in blueberry pie.

“THIS SCHOOL HAS A BAKERY!” he shouted, barely able to control his shaking body.

“I told you it was a special place,” she said. “But you need to stop eating sweets. You’re going to freak out, and besides, you have pie all over you.”

“I didn’t eat this pie. Tessa Lipton shoved my face in it. She’s vicious. She stomped on my lunch. Twenty-five oatmeal cream cookies died an early death because of her. What am I supposed to eat for my fifth desert today? I didn’t bring a backup treat!”

“I’m sorry about your cookies. Just keep your distance. Be subtle.”

Flinch beat on his chest and bellowed. “I am the KING OF SUBTLETY!”

Later, Jackson was waiting for Ruby after her class on the History of Quiet Amusements. They found seats in the back of the library and spoke in whispers.

“If Ms. Holiday needed an inside man to help her kidnap Tessa, she wouldn’t lack for volunteers. All the students hate her guts,” he said. “Most of the teachers, too. Apparently, little Ms. Lipton runs this place like a dictator, only with a lot less mercy. The last principal quit because Tessa kept sending her mean texts.”

“I know, Flinch told me,” Ruby said gloomily.

“You’re disappointed with her?”

“No, I’m disappointed with the school. I thought it was different.”

“Sorry, Puff. Every school has a bully, even a school with a space shuttle and a hospital attached to it. You don’t belong here, anyway.”

Ruby blushed. It was as if Jackson had read her dreamy thoughts about being a Sugarland griffin.

“Everyone here is too bossy,” he continued. “Who would you tell what to do?”

Pufferfish growled, but Jackson just laughed. “Do you think that maybe we’ve got this one wrong?” he asked. “Kidnapping isn’t Ms. Holiday’s style. Most of her stunts are giant robots and mutant bunnies.”

“I don’t think we know anything about her anymore. When she clobbered Agent Brand and tried to kill Flinch, I chalked it up to her being infected by the villain virus. But when we destroyed the corrupted nanobytes, she was still evil and crazy. She’s obsessed with taking over the world, and kidnapping the president’s daughter is probably a good way to do it. President Lipton would hand over anything to save his kid.”

Jackson sighed. “Ms. Holiday was the coolest adult I knew. I’m sure you guys would have kicked me off the team if not for her.”

“We did kick you off the team,” Ruby reminded him.

“Yes, but luckily I am charming and friendly and a valuable asset,” Jackson replied.

Just then, Matilda stormed in, receiving a big shush from the librarian. Wheezer ignored her and approached her teammates.

“The president’s daughter called me a pigface,” she said. “I’m going to kill her and before you tell me no, let me remind you that our mission is to keep her from being kidnapped. Technically, we succeed if she’s dead.”

“You can’t kill her,” Ruby said.

“What if I put her in the hospital? Nothing serious—just a broken face.”

All three agents sneezed simultaneously. Gluestick was on the com-link. “If Tessa gets kidnapped, how bad would it be if we didn’t try to rescue her?”

“You had a run-in with her, too?” Ruby asked.

“Yes, and so did my underpants. I’m going to be pulling them out of my behind until I’m old and gray. Her forearms have monkey strength!”

“Listen, team, this isn’t the first time we’ve had to protect someone who was intolerable,” Ruby said.

“Yeah, but Tessa isn’t a swimsuit model like the last one,” Jackson grumbled.

“Luckily, Tessa is probably safe,” Duncan said. “The day is almost over and we haven’t had as much as a whisper from Miss Information.”

Jackson nodded. “We should call the principal and let him know we’re going to be following the First Jerk around again tomorrow.”