IT WAS ON THE NEWS!

BUT NOT YOU, HUH?

I GUESS YOU’RE MADE OF TOUGHER STUFF.

WE’LL SEE.

IN CASE YOU’VE FORGOTTEN, MY NAME IS

MICHAEL BUCKLEY. I’M A FORMER MEMBER

OF THE SECRET ORGANIZATION KNOWN

AS NERDS (THE NATIONAL ESPIONAGE,

RESCUE, AND DEFENSE SOCIETY).

LOTS OF FAMOUS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MEMBERS

OF THE TEAM. I CAN’T TELL YOU THEIR

NAMES ’CAUSE THAT WOULD BLOW THEIR

COVERS, BUT TRUST ME—THEY ARE OUT

THERE. AND THEN THERE ARE A FEW OF

US WHO STICK A LITTLE CLOSER TO

HOME. I VOLUNTEERED TO DOCUMENT THE

CURRENT TEAM’S MISSIONS AND HELP

WEED THROUGH THE NEW RECRUITS EAGER

TO JOIN. IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,

YOU WERE INDUCTED INTO THE TEAM ON A

TRIAL BASIS AND CHOSE A CODE NAME.

GO AHEAD AND REMIND ME. WHAT’S YOUR CODE NAME?

REALLY?

THAT’S YOUR CODE NAME?

THAT’S ONE SILLY CODE NAME.

OK, OK, I’M SORRY I MADE FUN OF YOUR

CODE NAME. GEEZ, TOUCHY?

LET’S GET BACK TO BUSINESS. IT’S TIME

TO BECOME A FULL-FLEDGED NERD, BUT

BEFORE YOU START JUMPING UP AND

DOWN, YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT BEING A

SPY IS DANGEROUS. YOU COULD GET HURT,

KILLED, OR WORSE! SO READ THIS BOOK

FROM COVER TO COVER, AND IF YOU CAN

DO IT WITHOUT WETTING YOUR PANTS,

YOU MIGHT JUST HAVE A CHANCE . . .

BUT HONESTLY, MOST KIDS END UP

WITH SOGGY SHORTS. IT’S NOTHING

TO BE ASHAMED OF. . . .

WHO AM I KIDDING?

THAT’S TOTALLY EMBARRASSING!

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE A QUICK TRIP

TO THE BATHROOM BEFORE YOU READ

THE NEXT SECRET FILE.

YOU BACK?

DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?

OK . . . PUT YOUR THUMB HERE.

“Congratulations on stopping Professor Flurry and her deadly snow globe machine, Agent Gluestick,” the Hyena said via a video chat. Her signal was breaking up and full of static, but nothing could dim the former beauty queen’s bright green eyes.

“Just doing my job,” the boy replied.

“Always the humble one, huh? I hear Braceface asked for a trophy and Wheezer wanted tickets to WrestleMania. Pufferfish asked for a case of anti-itch cream, and the other one—the hyper one?”

“Flinch.”

“Yes, Flinch. He asked for something, but who can understand him? The boy talks a mile a minute.”

“I only wish we could have saved Hollywood. When the doctor turned on her machine, it was sealed in a glass globe and rolled into the ocean.”

“Eh, I was Ms. Preteen Hollywood, once. Trust me, it’s not such a big loss.”

“I heard you were on some secret mission.”

The Hyena nodded. “Can’t say much, only that it’s warm. I was tired of the long johns and mittens. So much better working for the good guys. Though I wish I were a little closer to, you know. . . ”

“Jackson?”

“If you tell, you’re a dead man!” the Hyena cried. “Listen, the world needs saving so I gotta run. Tell the gang I said hi— oh, and next time I contact you on the video screen, would you mind standing on the floor instead of the ceiling? It’s giving me motion sickness.”

Duncan Dewey leaped down from the ceiling, landing squarely on the floor. “Sorry. Force of habit.”

Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door across the room. “Hey, nerd! Open up!”

“Gotta run, too. Be careful, Mindy,” Duncan replied.

The girl growled.

“Sorry. Be careful, Hyena,” Gluestick said sheepishly.

Her face disappeared from the monitor just as a tiny blue orb floated out of a hole in the desk. It twittered as it buzzed around Duncan’s head. Then it spoke in a rather dignified voice. “The Creature is at the door, Gluestick.”

Duncan sighed. “I hear her, Benjamin.”

“People in Boston can hear her,” Benjamin replied. “Perhaps you should answer before she pounds the door down.”

Duncan opened the door a crack. Outside was something so horrible, so disturbing, so nightmarish that it would have caused a grown man to scream in terror. It was Duncan’s sister, Tanisha—or as Duncan and Benjamin called her, the Creature. The Creature was fuming mad. When she was angry, Duncan thought she resembled a pit bull sucking on a lemon. When she was happy? Well, he would say, imagine the same thing without the lemon.

“May I help you?”

“What are you doing in there?” the Creature snapped.

“I’m afraid that’s classified.”

Tanisha snarled. “More of your stupid secret agent stuff?”

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

She growled. “Dad set fire to the house.”

“Again?”

“Yes, again! Your crazy gadgets are impossible to use. I was nearly blasted through the bathroom window this morning using that stupid hair dryer you brought home.”

“Perhaps it’s not the hair dryer that is stupid but the person using it,” Duncan mumbled.

“What did you say?” Tanisha cried as Duncan closed the door in her face.

The little blue orb darted up to him. “Time to put away the toys?”

Duncan nodded. “I’m afraid so, Benjamin. Activate bedroom mode.”

At once the computer monitor disappeared into the ceiling, the desk flipped on its side and sank into the floor like a slice of bread into a toaster, and Duncan’s leather chair rolled away behind the wall. When the room was empty, the walls themselves slid downward, revealing a curtained window, a dresser, a mirror, and a bookshelf stuffed with books about electronics and technology. A hole in the floor opened and a full-sized bed rose to the surface. The room’s transformation was complete when a stack of Popular Mechanics magazines slid out from under the mattress.