“Ruth, I have to do it. There are no other options at this point.”

“There’s always another option. Will you really be able to live with yourself after you make that choice?”

“If it means my daughter has food and whatever else she needs, then yes!” This whole situation had me edgy and frustrated. I knew I was taking my frustrations out on Ruth, who had been nothing but kind to me these last few months, but I couldn’t stand someone trying to tell me how to live my life. Especially not when I was doing the best I could with what was handed to me.

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up, but my nephew knows someone who pays women under the table to clean. I called him earlier to see if he could make something happen.” Her words were rushed as if she knew this could be her last chance to stop me from making what she thought was a huge mistake.

I stretched out in my chair and contemplated her words. Could this be the answer I’d been praying for? God, I really hoped so.

“Give me one more day,” Ruth continued when I didn’t answer.

“I’m not sure I have one more day,” I admitted reluctantly. I didn’t like people knowing just how destitute I was, although it was a moot point considering she had seen how bare my cupboards were earlier that day.

Ruth stood up and walked to her purse on the counter. She pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and placed it on the table in front of me before resuming her seat across from me.

“What’s this?” I asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Consider it a loan. Buy yourself a few staples for the fridge and wait to see what my nephew comes back with.”

“This seems more like a handout than a loan,” I told her, my fingers pushing the money towards her.

“Loan,” she reiterated and pushed it back in my direction.

“Are you going to let me pay you back later?” I raised my eyebrow as I waited for her answer.

“Are you going to wait for my nephew?” she countered and my lips twitched. I could learn a thing or two from Ruth.

“Yes. Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?” I rolled my eyes and teased her.

“It is. And it’s the right choice.”

We’d see about that, but deep down I hoped she was right.

I handed the five hundred dollars over to my landlord and then left his rundown office feeling a little lighter, knowing we had another month with a roof over our heads.

The last two weeks I had been working for Malachi, who was a friend of Ruth’s nephew. He had a cleaning business for several office buildings in town. It didn’t pay much, but what it did pay was cash. And even though it was tedious work that often left my muscles tight and my back sore from bending over so frequently, it wasn’t stripping, which meant I was grateful.

I unlocked the door to my apartment and called out for Sophie. I hated leaving her alone for even the few minutes it took me to walk down to the office to pay the rent, but I didn’t like to take her around my sleazy landlord. Something about him didn’t sit completely right with me. While he wasn’t quite on Dick’s level, he was close.

When Sophie didn’t come out of her room right away, I went in search of her. I pushed open her bedroom door that was cracked open and stood in the doorway, smiling while she played princess with her teddy bear. I loved that she was still joyful and free-spirited, even after everything that had happened with Kevin.

“You ready to go to the store?” I asked after watching her dance around like Cinderella for several minutes.

“Yes!” she screeched while running past me towards the front door.

“Wait up!” I called out after her. Her little feet screeched to a halt on the concrete walkway outside the apartment door. When I caught up to her, I smoothed my hands over her riotous curls and led her to the car with our hands locked together.

“Who’s your favorite good fairy, Mommy?” Sophie chatted away as I pulled out of the parking lot towards the grocery store.

“Merryweather,” I answered absentmindedly when the car’s transmission slipped and the engine revved. That was odd, and I had a distinct feeling not very good either.

Oblivious to my growing tension, she babbled on. “Merryweather makes me laugh. I like Flora ‘cause she wears pink. Pink! Blue!”

In spite of my worries, I found myself chuckling as she chanted pink and blue like we always did at the end of Sleeping Beauty when the fairies continuously change the color of Aurora’s dress.

The light in front of us turned red. I stepped on the brake and idled, all the while petting the dashboard lovingly. “Come on, baby. Don’t give up on me now.”

When the light changed a few seconds later, I eased down on the gas. The engine revved, but the car didn’t move. Finally, the transmission caught and the car lurched forward, making noises that were rather frightening.

Horns behind us began honking irately, and I felt my face flush in both embarrassment and despair. This couldn’t be happening. Not now when things were finally starting to look up for us.

Using the small amount of momentum the car had picked up when the wheels did start moving, I pulled over to the side of the road and shut off the engine. Tears filled my eyes as I rested my head on the steering wheel, praying this wouldn’t be too big of a setback for us.

“Why’d we stop?” Sophie asked when she finally realized we weren’t moving. “I want to go to the store!”

Her shrieks made me cringe. This was just what I needed right then—a pint-sized meltdown.

“I know, sweetie. But the car is sick. We’ll have to find a way to get groceries tomorrow.” I swiped at the few tears that spilled down my cheeks and sat back in my seat. I knew my words were a lie. Getting the car fixed was going to eat up any extra money I had and then some. It was just the way my shitty luck was going.

“But I’m hungry!” she shouted from the back, her feet kicking at my seat.

I hated yelling at her since her father left—I really did—but with my patience at the edge thanks to the broken down car, I couldn’t let her carry on.

“That’s enough!” I snapped and she immediately stopped acting like a brat. Although now I could hear her sniffling behind me, and I knew the tears were going to start. At that moment, I wasn’t sure which was worse.

With a slow breath to steady myself, I tried to think calmly and rationally. Without a cell phone, seeing as it was a luxury I couldn’t afford, I had no choice but to walk the few blocks back to the apartment and use the landline.

Plan decided, I climbed out of the car and walked around to the passenger side. Leaning over the back seat, I undid the harness on Sophie’s car seat and let her crawl out on the side opposite traffic.

Finding a tote bag under the front seat, I stuffed anything we might need while the car was getting fixed into it before slinging it over my shoulder along with my purse. With Sophie’s hand in mine, we walked back to the apartment, my earlier buoyed spirits now crushed.

“Can you give me a ride to work tomorrow?” I asked Ruth over the phone later that night. I had just finished informing her that after a two-hundred-dollar towing bill, I learned my car was going to need a two-thousand-dollar transmission replacement. Needless to say, I was going to be without a car for quite some time. No way in hell I could come up with a couple thousand dollars and still afford rent.

“Of course. What time?”

“Six o’clock. Malachi already agreed to let me bring Sophie as long as she didn’t get in the way.”

“You know I don’t mind watching her,” she quickly admonished me.

“I do know that, but I’m already imposing enough on you. Sophie will be thrilled to go with me here and there whenever she can.”