And because I didn’t allow it, I didn’t know what I was missing.

Until now.

I had told myself that I preferred sleeping alone, and maybe at the time I did because I never fully trusted any of those other women. It’s possible I could have trusted them, that they would have responded like Natalie, but I didn’t care enough to want to test that out. To expose myself to them.

Maybe I knew deep down I hadn’t cared for them—hadn’t felt for them what I feel for Natalie.

I peer down at her pale complexion. Her lips are bruised from our kissing. There’s a smattering, a very small faint trail, of freckles right above the apple of each cheek. Her heavy breasts press against my side, and one smooth leg is hitched over mine.

I don’t want to sleep with a moment like this to savor. When I close my eyes, I drift off into a somnolent state of peaceful awareness.

When she stirs an hour later, I watch her awaken. She does so slowly, first burrowing her head deeper into my chest. Her small hand opens and then closes on my pectoral. I flex in response.

Her knee slides up and down as if testing the texture of the hair on my leg. I remain still, allowing her to explore to her heart’s content. Her touch soothes me in unexpected ways. And arouses me in all the obvious and expected ones.

“I’m glad you stayed,” she murmurs with a soft smile. Her lashes flutter softly against her cheek as she blinks. She peers up at me with sleep-filled hazel eyes that are more gold than green tonight.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Not anymore. “I should have given you more credit.”

Dropping her head as if it’s too heavy to hold up, she rubs her cheek against my shoulder. “Was it weird? Sleeping with me?”

“Nope. Was it weird seeing me without my prosthetics? I’m not much of a super soldier without them on.”

Her hand on my chest traces a path down the center, bisecting my frame on half. My cock jumps in response but she doesn’t touch it. Instead she scrapes a nail along my side and then up under my arm and down to my elbow, finger pausing as if seeking permission. I give a short nod and she continues.

The light touch makes me shiver.

“I love your body. Every inch of it. I look at your arm and leg and hurt for the pain you have suffered, but I’m so happy you’re alive. None of the rest of it really seems important.” She tilts her head up and smiles mischievously. “Besides, all the important parts are still here.”

Her soft hand wraps around my shaft. My breath catches as she gently glides down to the root to cup my balls. I close my eyes to enjoy the sensation of her breath skating across my chest as she stokes my need. Her delicate fingers land on my thighs and hip, tangle into the short groomed nest of curls at the base of my shift. She smooths the liquid that forms at the tip down underneath the sensitive head and then over the heavy blood-infused staff.

“Come up here,” I say gruffly, pulling at her hip.

She rises easily and elegantly from the covers and throws one leg over my chest. With my hand and forearm, I urge her up to my mouth. “Place your elbows against the wall and your knees next to my head and sit down.”

My mouth waters in anticipation as she repositions herself until her juicy sex is hovering over my mouth. “Down,” I order.

She lowers and the smell of her arousal, heat, and musk invades me. I flatten my tongue and sweep it along her folds. She cries out in surprise and then moans in delight. I suck gently at first until she starts pushing down, no orders needed. I circle her clit repeatedly, delivering small bites followed by licks and sucks until I feel her shaking above me.

“Oh Jake, please,” she pleads. Her head is thrown back and the long bitable arch of her neck is exposed. I’m going to take her from behind with my hand on that column of flesh.

I reach over with my good hand and press against her clit, opening her with my fingers. She rides me, fucking my tongue. I’ve never been this turned on; my cock has never been this hard.

Yes, all those nevers.

I hold her to me until her thighs quiver and the release floods into my mouth. I stay there, devouring her until her cries of pleasure are just echoes.

“Jesus, Jake,” she mumbles, sliding down in a sweaty heap on my chest. “Are you trying to kill me with orgasms?”

“I feel like there is no good answer to that question.” Her soft body curled against mine and the taste of her heavy in my mouth does little to abate my erection. My dick is so hard I’m convinced it’s poking holes through the sheets. I need her. “You up for a little more?”

She wiggles down until her wet sex hovers over the tip of my cock.

“Doesn’t feel little to me,” she jokes.

I reach between us and rub the engorged head between her swollen lips.

“Does it feel good, though?”

She sits up and straddles me, pushing the tip inside her hot depths. “So good.”

“Condom?” I manage to squeeze out.

She bites her lip and pushes down. Her recent orgasm has made her passage wet but tight. It takes a superhuman effort not to surge into her. The sensation of my bare cock inside her hot pussy is eroding what little control I have around her.

“In a minute,” she says. Her eyes are closed as if she, too, can’t bear to leave me. She hasn’t had sex in three years and I had a test after I broke it off with the journalist.

I plunge upward into the wet suck of her flesh and we both cry out. I hold her still with a hard, implacable grip on her hip. I could come right now. One more thrust and I will spill inside of her. I close my eyes and count to ten. Then to twenty. Finally I’m able to pull out.

“In my jeans,” I pant. She bites her lower lip and then nods. Leaning over the bed, she fumbles for my jeans. My cock is red and angry and glistening with her juice. Soon.

Her shaky hands rip open the package and she smooths the latex over my cock. The touch nearly has me coming out of my skin, and then finally she’s on top of me again. Her heavy breasts sway above me and her hands dig into my chest as she uses me for leverage.

I hang on because every movement, every tiny sound from her body, ratchets my desire so hot and hard, I could come any moment.

When she finally shakes and cries out her release in a long, tortured moan, I let myself go. With my hand digging into her hip to hold her in place, I slam into her over and over until I’m lost. Maybe I was lost the first time I saw her. I don’t care. This is where I want to be. Where I’ll always want to be.

“I’m serious about having you move.” I tell her as we eat a late dinner. I ordered out and Natalie stayed in the bedroom while it was delivered. I didn’t bother with my prosthetics, and the most expression Natalie showed was surprise at how agile I was hopping around.

We are both ravenous and I’m glad I ordered more. “You don’t have to be at my place.” Lie. I wouldn’t let her move anywhere else. “But I do think you should think about moving.”

Her delicate but strong chin tightens visibly with unease. “I’m not opposed to what you’re suggesting; I just don’t know how I would get there.”

I want to scoop her up and carry her away from all this. Her own time, I remind myself. “Oliver said that you’ve been sedated at certain times.”

She gives a tense nod. “That’s right. Dr. Terrance will give me a dosage for special occasions like when Oliver won the Super Bowl and his parents came to celebrate. They wanted me to come up to his apartment and, at the time, I had difficulty making the journey. Once I was in his apartment, it was fine but I don’t think Dr. Terrance would support a move.”