Peggy is a gift. A Godsend. She takes care of everything I could possibly need and she brought Sam into my life. I don’t know what I’d be doing if she weren’t here. I realize I probably would have turned Kai away and made the situation disappear. I would have thrown as much money as possible at whoever could take Kai. I wouldn’t have my son, and I have Peggy to thank for that.

“Goodnight, Peggy,” I say.

I close up downstairs for the night and go up to my room. After a long, hot shower, I’m dressed in sweats and a tee-shirt.

Kai’s door at the end of the hallway is slightly ajar, and I quietly walk down the hall to his room. He and Sam are sound asleep in the rocking chair. Her hair is still partially wet and pulled into a high bun on the top of her head. It’s a mess and beautiful at the same time. Her head is tilted to the side, and Kai’s head is burrowed into her neck, just under her chin. He has a fist in his mouth that he’s sucking on, and the other is tight on her chest. Their breathing is in sync and perfect.

She looks so peaceful with my son in her arms, I can’t bring myself to wake her up. I pick up an extra blanket from the day-bed and gently drape it over the two of them, momentarily resting my hands on either side of her. I’m so close to her, I can smell the oil that she uses after she swims. Her skin smells like clean and fresh linens. She exhales deeply and her warm breath touches my face. I reluctantly pull away in fear of waking them up.

The day-bed is welcoming and familiar, and I lie down facing them both. I’ll be ready when she needs a break and when my son needs strong, protective hands to soothe him. But can I be strong for him? Can I be the father that he needs me to be?

Sam’s words from a few weeks ago ring in my head as I close my eyes.

“You have to believe, Garrett. Otherwise you have nothing.”

Sam

Present

Villanova, Pennsylvania

Age 24

“WOULD YOU LIKE AN APPETIZER” the waiter asks as he refills my wine glass.

I’m about to shake my head when Richard interjects. “We’ll have the crab dip.”

The waiter nods his head and quickly walks away. I hate crab dip.

“I haven’t eaten here in so long. It’s great we’ve finally been able to go out. I’m so happy that Marcie insisted we get together. Too bad we couldn’t get together a few months ago, but I’m glad we’re out now.” He’s been talking incessantly since he picked me up thirty minutes ago. He must be nervous or can’t handle a little silence here and there. I make a mental note to punch Marcie in the face for giving Richard my number.

“Wait until you try the crab dip,” he says and reaches across the table for my hand.

I snatch it away and grab my purse. “I have to use the restroom. Excuse me.”

I pull out my phone on the way and text Cassie our emergency code.

ME: GET ME OUT OF HERE CALL MY CELL IN TEN MINUTES

She doesn’t respond right away, but she knows I’m out with him, and I’m sure she’s on high alert. It’s been months since I’ve been anywhere. “You can do this,” I say to my reflection in the mirror. “Ten more minutes and you’re done.”

What was I thinking? I should be home with Kai.

I walk back to the table and sit in my seat. The crab dip is already in between us and I want to gag.

“Here, you’ll love it.” Richard begins to scoop some dip onto my appetizer plate.

I toss my hand over it and say, “No thanks. I’m allergic.” His expression changes from joy to fear in a split second as he believes my lie.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something before when I ordered it?”

“It’s okay, the salad that’s coming will be just fine as an appetizer for me. Now all of the crab dip can be for you.” I feign a smile and wish I were back at Garrett’s house, floating in his pool.

Peggy is at the house tonight with Kai and Garrett wasn’t home when I left. I’m glad he wasn’t there because I didn’t want him to see me leave on this ‘date.’ I promised Marcie I would go, and I just want it to be over. I also don’t want Garrett to think anything serious is going on with Richard. In fact, there’s nothing going on with me and Richard. This isn’t even a date, really. More like a favor for a friend.

I just want to get home and pretend I never agreed to this outing tonight. Things have been really good lately, and Garrett has been doing great with Kai. Sure, there’s been a few ups and downs, but he’s been so attentive and not as nervous around him as he had been.

I look up and see that Richard is shoveling the dip into his mouth and making horrid noises while he does it. I take a sip of cold water to keep my gag reflex at bay. C’mon Cassie. Call, Goddammit.

“Marcie never mentioned you have a brother,” Richard says, catching me off guard. Did Marcie set him up with the wrong person?

“I don’t,” I state, and his expression changes again. This time he looks utterly confused.

“No? He answered your phone the very first time I tried calling you a while back.”

“You must not have called the right number, because I assure you, I don’t have a brother.” I glance down at my phone, willing it to ring.

“Well, then some other guy answered it. He may not be your brother, but he confirmed it was your phone.”

What the hell?

My cell phone vibrates loudly on the table, and I see Cassie’s name pop up. “It’s my aunt. She wouldn’t call me if it wasn’t important. She’s knows I’m on a date. I’m sorry, but I have to take this.”

“Hello?” I say, feigning worry.

“You’re a terrible mean person. Do you know that?” Cassie scolds me.

“Hey, Aunt Peggy. Is everything okay?” My voice becomes uncharacteristically high, and the lie begins to flow too easily.

“I can’t believe you’re ditching another date. Can’t you at least make it to the main course? You know, I almost didn’t call you back. I almost ignored your text. But I love you too much to do that to you.” I want to smile, but I bite my lip to stop myself.

“Really? He usually doesn’t have a problem with that kind of formula.” I continue the ruse, and I hear Cassie sigh loudly through the phone.

“Seriously, Sam. This is the last time I’m doing this. Marcie thought you’d really like this guy. He’s her cousin and she swears he’s the perfect catch.”

That explains a lot. Marcie isn’t exactly a social butterfly. She’s nice and all but is very socially awkward. I look up at Richard and see a vague resemblance. I should have known.

“Okay, I’ll leave right away. I’m sorry I left before you could run out to get his food.”

“You need to get laid, Sam. If Richard isn’t the one to do it, you’d better find someone soon. You’re cooped up in that house with the baby all day long, and you don’t have time for anything. I’m taking you out on Saturday night. We’re going to find someone for you. Stat.” She hangs up and I finish the fake conversation.

“I’ll see you in twenty minutes. I’m so sorry. He’ll be okay until I get there. I promise.”

I look over to Richard, who is licking the crab dip from his fingers. He raises his eyebrows and asks, “Is everything okay? It sounded serious.”

“No, it’s not. The baby I’m caring for is out of formula. I thought I picked up a case from the pharmacy the other day, but that was two weeks ago. My aunt came to help out so I could go out with you tonight, and I’m afraid I left her in a bad spot. I have to leave. I’m so sorry.” I gather my phone and my clutch and shift in my seat.

He puts his hand up, signaling the waiter. “No problem. Marcie says you’re one of the best baby nurses around. We’ll get you home right away.”