“I will. I’ll−” I paused, forcing my breath to a normal pace. “I’ll tell him. I’ll explain it all.” As the words left my lips, so did all the guilt I was feeling deep inside.

“I love you, sweetie. Just try and see what happens, until then I’ll keep this between you and me. I don’t need your father going on a shooting rampage at your school. FBI agent or not, that’ll still land him in a federal prison.” The very thought caused a bubble of laughter to escape me. Before we hung up, we talked about my brothers and how they were giving her gray hairs which only led to more visits to the hair salon, and my father, and how everything would work out because they always did.

My mother was the woman I aspired to be. I loved her deeply and beyond measure. She had no idea just how important she was to me.

“Open this door right now, or I’m going to plow the fucker down,” Taylor shouted out, laughter lacing her words. After my talk with my mom, my mind became less hazy. I did a small session of yoga on the floor and jammed out to some music, forcing myself to relax and for the most part it helped. That is until Taylor threatened to crash into my room.

“All 120 pounds of you is going to plow down this door?” I joked with her as I opened the door taking notice of her Hulk-like stance. Was she seriously gonna attempt to plow down the door?

“Come at me, bro,” she growled before running at me full speed. It was too late for me to move, she ran right into me, forcing us against my bed. Her shrieks of laughter mirrored my own as I pushed her off of me and myself up off the bed.

Okay, that was a lie she could totally tackle me. The door, though? Not so much.

“Nice entrance, now get out,” I spoke, pointing towards the door.

“NO! We ordered pizza and I bought that movie with Scott Eastwood in it that you have been ranting and raving about non-stop.” Taylor scowled.

“The Longest Ride?” I corrected her with the actual name of the movie.

The look of anger on her face told me she didn’t have time for me to be correcting her, but I didn’t care because this was the kind of stuff I had missed between us over the last three years.

“The one with the hot as fuck guy wearing a cowboy hat, riding bulls and shit.“ She quoted my exact words from a conversation we had months ago.

“Hey, that was before I knew what the movie was called, nut job!!!” I yelled loudly with a smile on my face. She stuck her tongue out at me and laughed as she ran from the room.

“Hurry up, or I’ll eat all the pizza,” she shot back as she headed upstairs. I changed from my jean shorts to a pair of joggers, knowing damn well she would eat all the pizza if I didn’t hurry up. My heart was pounding in my chest, the beats getting louder as I took each step upstairs.

My confession to my mom had cleared my head, but now… now I needed to confess my feelings to Chase. I needed to spill my guts and lay it all out on the line. As I passed the kitchen and headed down the hall, my stomach did a flip. I could hear all three of them throwing insults back and forth at each other as I made way towards the media room. I gripped the door handle tightly second-guessing if I should even go in.

“Jesus, Taylor what is that? Slice number three?” I could hear Chance teasing Taylor, so I decided to walk in.

“Pizza and I have a dedicated relationship, asshole. One that I take very seriously.” She smirked, licking the grease from her fingers. They were all sitting on the floor with two pizza boxes open. Ten movie theater chairs were in front of me and as I maneuvered myself down the aisle I could feel everyone’s eyes on me.

“Stop staring at me,” I said nervously, as I popped a squat on the ground next to Taylor. I forced myself not to look at Chase, I mean it was bad enough his smell was surrounding me, causing my mouth to water.

“Conceited much?” Taylor taunted with a hint of laughter as she handed me a slice of pizza. I gobbled it down, my stomach growling for more before I had even finished the first piece. Eventually, I got the courage to meet Chase’s stare and had I not been sitting on the floor I probably would’ve doubled over.

He looked like a God, only less angel-like. He smirked at me, causing an eruption of butterflies to flutter through my stomach. I could hear the blood in my ears pumping, and I saw nothing but him.

“Taylor was telling us stories about your parents working together.” Chance’s deep voice met my ears, and I forced my eyes away from Chase’s hypnotizing ones.

“Yeah. Between the Mafia, the FBI, and all the other ruthless shit our parents had to do, I’m surprised we made it this far.” It was the truth. Living the life they lived, I was surprised they wanted kids. It was a dangerous lifestyle to bring children up in.

“Our parents love stories were right out of a romance novel,” Taylor sighed before taking another bite, and I laughed as Chance all but rolled his eyes out of his head. He wasn’t much of a believer for the bullshit she was spewing apparently.

“More like romantic suspense with blood and gore,” Chase commented, drifting my attention back to him.

Chance slapped him on the back, “You would know, wouldn’t you? I remember you reading mom’s romance novels she kept in the house.” I watched as the blood drained from Chase’s face and a growl left his full lips while Taylor and Chance’s hysterical laughter filled the room.

What he didn’t know was that a man who read was far sexier than any other and there was nothing funny about that. It meant he had an imagination that could vividly see what authors had put on paper and that he believed in love blooming or surviving in the most unfortunate circumstances.

The conversation continued on, but Chase seemed less concerned with where it was going and more with me. His eyes were eating up the distance between us as if he wanted to be as close to me as he possibly could be, and something told me it wasn’t just about wanting to sit next to one another. In his stare he wanted me naked, writhing beneath him as I moaned his name. I can’t lie, I wanted that too.

“Don’t feel bad, Chase. Gia reads dirty romance novels all the time. In fact, the Fifty Shades of Grey series is a favorite of hers. Right, Gia?” I narrowed my eyes at her. If she wanted to open that can of worms, then we could go there.

“Should I tell them about your first kiss?” I raised an eyebrow in question at her. She sat quietly for a moment as the guys stared between us as if we were sharing a conversation inside of our heads that they couldn’t hear.

“I think it’s time to watch the movie.” Taylor changed the subject, but not without throwing a dirty look my way.

Chase leaned forward, past Taylor and Chance and into my face.

“Dirty books are the best kind of books,” he murmured, so close that I could feel his breath on my lips as he invaded my space.

He breathed out and I breathed him in, each whisper of air becoming unspoken words our hearts were desperate to speak.

They say fidgeting is a sign of nervousness. That fear makes us do crazy things and love even crazier things.  I couldn’t focus on anything but Gia, which wasn’t outside of the norm for me. That’s why as the movie played before us, I found myself growing closer to her. I didn’t care about the movie, or about Taylor and Chance being near us. All that mattered was Gia, and the second that her head started to lop to one side I knew that I needed to take her into my arms, and I did just that.

Her warmth seeped into my bones, warming the coldness that had settled deep within me. She melted away all the bad and made me want to be the best part of her life that I could be.