“How does it feel?” I said.

“Wish you’d come here and tell me.”

I nestled into my pillows. “Squeeze your balls.”

His lips quirked. Dutifully he cradled them and squeezed. His cock was flush with blood, a drop of opal fluid beading on the tip. As he worked himself he kept glancing up at me, sometimes holding for several strokes, and I wondered how he was imagining fucking me. If I dominated him in his mind the way I dominated him now.

“Faster,” I said.

Dane’s fist pumped, jerking harder with each upstroke. Tension spread through him, deeper cuts of definition carving into his muscle, all his power radiating inward, toward the core of himself. You don’t cam for anyone else. On a whim I placed my thumb over my webcam lens, blocking my video transmission.

Dane didn’t notice for a few seconds. When he did and faltered I said, “Don’t stop.”

He shot another glance or two at the screen and then focused on his dick. Instead of the intimate ricochet of eye contact he seemed determined to finish quickly, get it over with.

“Slow down,” I said. “Don’t come yet.”

I could tell it jarred him. He’d been jerking off to me but now the image was gone. It was like any ordinary private show.

My free hand slid between my legs.

Is it you? I thought as I ran a finger against myself, and a coruscating heat bloomed in my thighs, kindled the fine web of nerves threading up my spine. Could you actually be the man I’ve been talking to, only letting your true self free when you type? When I can’t see you?

I stared at the hands working his dick. Slender fingers, almost elegant.

“Come for me,” I said.

His strokes grew short and rough. He gritted his teeth, not the dreamy pretty-boy face he usually got when he came on cam but something pained, almost resentful. For a moment before climax he didn’t look like he was in the middle of a sex act but an act of violence, of self-annihilation.

“Fuck,” he said suddenly, and his head lolled back, his body shuddering, pearly come spilling over his fist and onto his stomach, a sticky mess of spider silk. He lay slack and listless for half a minute, then grabbed a tissue from off cam. Even though my feed was black he avoided looking at the screen.

My hand stilled. My body was taut as a tripwire. I barely breathed.

“Well,” he said finally, “enjoy the show?”

“Yes.”

Dane laughed, huskily. “Maybe next time you’ll keep your cam on.”

“Next time, huh?”

Is it you, Dane?

He looked dead into the lens. “That’s right, baby. Next time it’s your turn.”

He gave me a small, knowing smile, and logged off.

—8—

VADA: are you awake?

ELLIS: Yes. Hi.

VADA: hi

VADA: sorry about freaking out earlier

ELLIS: No, I’m sorry for barging in. I feel like an idiot.

VADA: don’t

VADA: it was an unplanned private chat

VADA: not your fault

ELLIS: Can I still feel like an idiot?

VADA: okay, but only if I can feel like one too

ELLIS: Why are you still up?

VADA: having a weird ass night

VADA: why are you still up?

ELLIS: Having a weird-ass night.

ELLIS: Plus, you know me. Every time I make a faux pas, I analyze it to death.

VADA: you make the best faux pas

VADA: remember when you got drunk at Umbra

VADA: and went behind the bar and tried to “help” the bartender

VADA: and they kicked us out

VADA: and threatened to call the cops

ELLIS: Oh my god.

ELLIS: How do you remember that?

VADA: I wasn’t as drunk as you

ELLIS: You passed out in the taxi!

VADA: that was just a power nap

VADA: and do you remember when we went to the cat shelter

VADA: and you kept asking how many cats you could legally adopt

VADA: in this really quiet, intense voice

VADA: and they escorted us from the building because they thought you were going to experiment on them or something

ELLIS: If you’re trying to make me feel better, this is the opposite of that.

VADA: #sorrynotsorry

ELLIS: I wanted to adopt them all because they were going to be put down.

VADA: I know

VADA: you big softie

ELLIS: Big psycho, apparently.

VADA: you’re too good for this earth

VADA: we should send you back to Krypton

VADA: with the other supermen

ELLIS: Ha, ha.

VADA: Elle?

ELLIS: Yeah?

VADA: did you mean it, about not moving on?

ELLIS: Why do you ask?

VADA: I don’t know

VADA: curiosity, jealousy, confusion, loneliness

VADA: take your pick

ELLIS: Remember when we threw the key into the ocean?

ELLIS: I meant what I said.

ELLIS: Now please tell me what you were doing at my house.

VADA: trying to figure out who Brandt Zoeller is

VADA: Elle?

VADA: hey

VADA: come on, don’t just ignore me

VADA: I thought you wanted us to talk things through

ELLIS: Did you talk to him?

VADA: who is he?

ELLIS: I can’t believe you’re going behind my back.

VADA: I can’t believe you’re hiding shit from me

ELLIS: Really? You can’t?

ELLIS: After you hid our relationship from everyone?

ELLIS: Made me feel like some kind of dirty secret?

VADA: that’s not fair

VADA: I hooked up with girls before and everyone knew

ELLIS: Oh, so I’m special.

ELLIS: I’m the only one you felt compelled to hide.

VADA: fuck, what do you want me to say?

ELLIS: Something real.

VADA: it wasn’t easy for me, okay?

VADA: my entire life revolved around you

VADA: and one night you decided to just walk out of it

ELLIS: It wasn’t one night. It was every night.

ELLIS: Every night you dangled me on a string while you waited for someone better to come along.

VADA: oh, my bad

VADA: so I was supposed to know exactly who I was at age 22

VADA: and exactly who I wanted to be for the rest of my life

ELLIS: No.

ELLIS: But when someone lays their heart at your feet, you could at least have the decency to say you don’t want it.

VADA: I didn’t fucking know what I wanted

VADA: aside from not losing my best friend

ELLIS: Well, that happened anyway.

VADA: because you put all the pressure on me

VADA: you left me to decide our entire future

VADA: do you get that?

VADA: how you made it all or nothing?

VADA: either you wanted me entirely or not at all

VADA: that was an impossible choice, Elle

VADA: one I wasn’t ready to make

ELLIS: Brandt is my cousin.

ELLIS: He has health issues and needed a place where he could recover.

ELLIS: My aunt offered to pay all our bills if I took him.

ELLIS: Happy?

VADA: why couldn’t you just tell me that?

ELLIS: Why should I?

ELLIS: You won’t tell me the truth about that night.

VADA: you weren’t driving

ELLIS: I know you want to protect me.

ELLIS: But protecting me from the truth isn’t a good thing.

VADA: Ellis, I promise

VADA: I didn’t lie about that

VADA: and no one will lay a finger on you

VADA: they’ll have to get past me first