Oh, God. What if they had one of those relationships? An open one where they could sleep with other people?

Faith’s mouth dried to dust. Dear Lord, could she have been any more naive?

Stupid, stupid.

With a shaking hand, she set her champagne flute on the waiter’s tray and made the long, long walk to the door. Only a few people stopped their conversations to stare at her obvious haste. Most continued on as if nothing had transpired, as if she hadn’t just been betrayed in the worst imaginable way.

chapter

seventeen

Alec panicked and cursed when he caught Faith’s retreating form out of the corner of his eye. “Mark, take care of this. I need to deal with something. I want him gone when I get back.”

Trusting his editor to handle his former agent, Alec strode toward the door. He should’ve told Faith the whole story sooner. What must be going through her mind right now? And to hear the truth like that, in such a cold, calculating way . . .

Part of the truth.

Fuck. He was an asshole. Part of him knew he never should’ve brought her here, into this world that he didn’t even want to live in sometimes. But the more time he spent with Faith, the more she pushed the darkness away. She made him want things, to be something he couldn’t. Yet he’d plowed forward and hadn’t even had the balls to inform her of what she was getting tangled in.

He pushed through the lobby doors and stepped outside, alarm seizing his gut when he didn’t see her right away. He scanned the sidewalk, across the busy street. Sweet Faith, alone in this city. The things that could go wrong.

Wait. There.

She stood at the corner of the building, arms wrapped around herself and shivering as if it weren’t eighty degrees. He hesitated, then walked over to her.

Her teary gaze lifted to his and away. “Go back inside, Alec.”

He tried to take her arms but she wrenched away. “Faith. I’m sorry. I need to explain, I know . . .”

“Explain,” she said in a hollow voice. “What more is there to say? You lied to me.”

Panic morphed into desperation. “I should’ve told you everything sooner. I’m sorry.”

She stepped away from him as if he’d slapped her. “Sorry just doesn’t seem to cut it, Alec.” She rubbed her forehead with a shaking hand. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No,” he growled, stepping closer. “I’m the idiot.”

A cab pulled up to the curb and she stepped forward. No way. No way in hell was she going anywhere alone in this city. Not even in the posh Upper West Side.

“Faith, wait.” He rushed over and told the doorman to have his driver pull around, then hurried back. “My car will take you back to my apartment. Here.” He fumbled in his pocket for his keys and took her hand. Forcing her fingers to unclench, he slapped them into her palm. “Go back to my place and wait for me. I can’t leave just yet, but I’ll get out of this as soon as I can. We’ll talk.”

Her jaw trembled as more tears coursed down her pale cheeks, her gaze focused on the street and the passing cars. After a very tense silence, she finally nodded.

He let out a shuddering exhale, only somewhat relieved. “Please, don’t leave the apartment. I’ll meet you there.”

His driver pulled up and walked around the hood to open the back door. Faith wasted no time sliding inside. Her gaze trained down, she twisted her fingers in her lap.

Alec closed the door himself. “Take her back to the apartment. Watch until she gets inside.” He paused. “You know what?” He fished in his pocket and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill. “Walk her to the apartment door and make sure she gets in safely.”

“Will do, sir.”

Jaw clenched, he watched her pull away, staring at the street long after she’d disappeared from view. He was damn close to saying the hell with it and taking a cab right after her, but his publisher had given him quite a bit of leeway with the new series and he owed them. Although he loathed the crowds, it was part of his job and damn unprofessional to walk away.

Turning, he caught Henry Swift hailing a cab.

“You son of a bitch . . .”

Henry’s eyes widened. He dove into the cab and slammed the door.

Alec yelled through the window. “We have a confidentiality agreement. You break it again, I’ll sue you for twice the amount I made you the past ten years. You hear me?”

The cab pulled away, but not before the color drained from Henry’s face and the slimy bastard nodded his understanding. He wasn’t looking so smug and superior now.

Jesus. The damage was already done. Alec should’ve fired him years ago. Why the hell hadn’t he?

Behind him, a few patrons exited the hotel, reminding him he didn’t have time for brooding. The sooner he got the party over with, the sooner he could try to explain Laura to Faith.

He made his way back inside the ballroom and, upon seeing him, his editor quickly walked to the podium to make introductions. Through his brief reading, pats on the back afterward, and subsequent two-hour signing, Alec was ready to tear his hair out. By the fistful. His mind kept straying to what Faith might be doing, thinking. Part of him feared she’d be gone when he returned. She’d been so damn calm. She was always calm. Why didn’t she yell at him? Slap his cheek? Hell, any significant sign of anger would’ve been better than the shell shock.

As his driver guided them through the busy streets, acid ate away at his gut. Aside from Jake, he’d never talked about Laura with anyone. Not when it happened and not after. By process of elimination and through the grapevine, his parents and former agent knew the details. But their prompts to try and get Alec to discuss the accident fell on deaf ears. What happened was off-limits.

Until now.

A thousand explanations tore through his mind, but none of them measured up. There was no sugarcoating this story. Once Faith knew the whole of it, she would walk away from this relationship before it had even begun. He was sure of it.

And why did that bother him so much? It wasn’t as if he could put a ring on her finger and promise her forever. Even if he wanted to—which, Christ, did he?—there was no future beyond August.

He rubbed at his tired eyes, not recognizing this sensation that had been swirling in his chest since he first saw Faith on the beach weeks ago. It was a warning he should’ve heeded. Laura had never, not once, made him feel like this. Like he needed to see her to breathe freely, to touch her to prove she was real. To crawl inside her mind to find all the clever, quirky little thoughts within. The need to claim her, have her begging and chanting his name while he drove into her, had the blood roaring through his veins.

Falling for Faith would be selfish. Inevitable, it seemed, but selfish nonetheless.

Alec waved off the driver when he pulled to the curb outside the apartment and started to get out to open the door for him. He gave the man a hefty tip for his trouble and opened the door himself.

Alec paused before exiting. “The lady, how was she when you drove her back?”

The driver turned in his seat and regarded Alec with sympathetic eyes. “She cried quietly the entire way, sir. Never said a word. I went with her up to your penthouse and made sure she went inside.”

Alec nodded and thanked the man. Nausea churned in his stomach until a cold sweat broke out on his forehead and his palms grew clammy.

He’d made her cry. Faith had enough in her life to cause that—she didn’t need him adding more reasons.

The lobby attendant stopped him before he hit the bank of elevators. “Mr. Winston. I have your keys, sir.”

His keys. Right. He’d given them to Faith. His heart puttered behind his ribs, just wanting to get to her. “Did she leave?”