‘Among other things,’ Dave said.

‘Have you ever heard someone say they were too old for one of America’s military adventures? Vietnam? Iraq? Afghanistan?’

‘Sure. Although what they usually say is they were too young.’

‘AIDS was a war.’ Ollie was looking down at his gnarled hands, from which the talent was departing. ‘And I wasn’t too old for all of it, because no one is when the war’s on one’s native soil, wouldn’t you say?’

‘I guess that’s true enough.’

‘I was born in nineteen thirty. When AIDS was first observed and clinically described in the United States, I was fifty-two. I was living in New York, and working freelance for several advertising firms. My friends and I still used to go around to the clubs in the Village once in a while. Not the Stonewall – a hellhole run by the Mafia – but some of the others. One night I was standing outside Peter Pepper’s on Christopher Street, sharing a jay with a friend, and a bunch of young men went in. Good-looking guys in tight bellbottom pants and the shirts they all seemed to wear back then, the kind with the wide shoulders and narrow waists. Suede boots with stacked heels.’

‘Yummy boys,’ Dave ventured.

‘I guess, but not the yummy boy. And my best friend – his name was Noah Freemont, died just last year, I went to the funeral – turned to me and said, “They don’t even see us anymore, do they?” I agreed. They saw you if you had enough money, but we were too … dignified for that, you might say. Paying for it was demeaning, although some of us did, from time to time. Yet in the late fifties, when I first came to New York …’

He shrugged and looked off into the distance.

‘When you first came to New York?’ Dave prompted.

‘I’m thinking about how to say this. In the late fifties, when women were still sighing over Rock Hudson and Liberace, when homosexuality was the love that dared not speak its name instead of the one that never shuts up, my sex drive was at its absolute peak. In that way – there are others, I’m sure, many others – gay men and straight men are the same. I read somewhere that when they are in the presence of an attractive other, men think about sex every twenty seconds or so. But when a man’s in his teens and twenties, he thinks about sex constantly, whether he’s in the presence of an attractive other or not.’

‘You get hard when the wind blows,’ Dave said.

He was thinking of his first job, as a pump jockey, and of a pretty redhead he’d happened to see sliding out of the passenger seat of her boyfriend’s truck. Her skirt had rucked up, revealing her plain white cotton panties for a single second, two at most. Yet he had played that moment over and over in his mind while masturbating, and although he had only been sixteen at the time, the memory was still fresh and clear. He doubted if that would have been the case if he’d been fifty. By then he’d seen plenty of women’s underwear.

‘Some of the conservative columnists called AIDS the gay plague, and with ill-concealed satisfaction. It was a plague, but by nineteen eighty-six or so, the gay community had a pretty good fix on it. We understood the two most basic preventive measures – no unprotected sex and no sharing of needles. But young men think they’re immortal, and as my grandma used to say when she was in her cups, a stiff dick has no conscience. It’s especially true when the owner of that dick is drunk, high, and in the throes of sexual attraction.’

Ollie sighed, shrugged.

‘Chances were taken. Mistakes were made. Even after the transmission vectors were well understood, tens of thousands of gay men died. People are only beginning to grasp the magnitude of that tragedy now that most folks understand gays don’t choose their sexual orientation. Great poets, great musicians, great mathematicians and scientists – God knows how many died before their talents could flower. They died in gutters, in cold-water flats, in hospitals, and the indigent wards, all because they took a risk on a night when the music was loud, the wine was flowing, and the poppers were popping. By choice? There are still plenty who say so, but that’s nonsense. The drive is too strong. Too primal. If I’d been born twenty years later, I might have been one of the casualties. My friend Noah, as well. But he died of a heart attack in his bed, and I’ll die of … whatever. Because by fifty, there are fewer sexual temptations to resist, and even when the temptation is strong, the brain is sometimes able to overrule the cock, at least long enough to grab a condom. I’m not saying that plenty of men my age didn’t die of AIDS. They did – no fool like an old fool, right? Some were my friends. But they were fewer than the younger fellows who jammed the clubs every night.

‘My own clique – Noah, Henry Reed, John Rubin, Frank Diamond – sometimes went out just to watch those young guys do their mating dances. We didn’t drool, but we watched. We weren’t so different from the middle-aged hetero golfing buddies who go to Hooters once a week just to watch the waitresses bend over. That sort of behavior may be slightly pitiful, but it’s not unnatural. Or do you disagree?’

Dave shook his head.

‘One night four or five of us dropped by a dance club called Highpockets. I think we had just about decided to call it a night when this kid walked in on his own. Looked a little like David Bowie. He was tall, wearing tight white bike shorts and a blue tee with cut-off sleeves. Long blond hair, combed up in a high pompadour that was funny and sexy at the same time. High color – natural, not rouge – in his cheeks, along with a spangle of silvery stuff. A Cupid’s bow of a mouth. Every eye in the place turned to look at him. Noah grabbed my arm and said, “That’s him. That’s Mister Yummy. I’d give a thousand dollars to take him home.”

‘I laughed and said a thousand dollars wouldn’t buy him. At that age, and with those looks, all he wanted was to be admired and desired. Also to have great sex as often as possible. And when you’re twenty-two, that’s often.

‘Pretty soon he was part of a group of good-looking guys – although none as good-looking as he was – all of them laughing and drinking and dancing whatever dance was in back then. None of them sparing a glance for the quartet of middle-aged men sitting at a table far back from the dance floor and drinking wine. Middle-aged men still five or ten years from quitting their efforts to look younger than their age. Why would he look at us with all those lovely young men vying for his attention?

‘And Frank Diamond said, “He’ll be dead in a year. See how pretty he is then.” Only he didn’t just say it; he spit it out. Like that was some kind of weird … I don’t know … consolation prize.’

Ollie, who had survived the age of the deep closet to live in one where gay marriage was legal in most states, once more shrugged his thin shoulders. As if to say it was all water under the bridge.

‘So that was our Mister Yummy, a summation of all that was beautiful and desirable and out of reach. I never saw him again until two weeks ago. Not at Highpockets, not at Peter Pepper’s or the Tall Glass, not at any of the other clubs I went to … although I went to those places less and less frequently as the so-called Reagan Era wore on. By the late eighties, going to the gay clubs was too weird. Like attending the masquerade ball in Poe’s story about the Red Death. You know, “Come on, everybody! Kick out the jams, have another glass of champagne, and ignore all those people dropping like flies.” There was no fun in that unless you were twenty-two and still under the impression that you were bulletproof.’

‘It must have been hard.’

Ollie raised the hand not wedded to his cane and waggled it in a comme ci, comme ça gesture. ‘Was and wasn’t. It was what the recovering alkies call life on life’s terms.’