Wait.

I stopped.

I was reading a book on my bed when the floorboards creaked from outside my door. There was no reason to be scared. Edmund stood outside my door all the time. He never did anything. He never came inside, but that day, I was scared. I knew, somehow I knew, even before he opened the door and came inside. I didn’t remember moving, but then I was at the window.

I was watching it happen again. I was removed from my body, watching from the other side of the window, and it was like that then, too. I was a spectator to what happened.

I watched from where I was safe.

I turned around so that my back pressed to the window. Edmund was inside my room. He was shutting the door. He never shut the door when he came inside. It was always left open. That was one thing his wife insisted on, but he turned the lock on it now.

I reached behind me and held on to the window frame.

I said to Erica, “I was so scared.”

“Tell us what happened. What are you remembering right now?”

I told her as I experienced it again.

He was drinking. I could smell the beer on his breath. His shirt had two beer stains on it, like he’d used it to wipe his face off. His face was sweaty. And, my gaze dipped down, his pants were undone.

There was an added gleam in his eyes. It was twisted and dark, and I knew then. I knew what was going to happen to me.

A switch turned off in my head.

I said, “I didn’t know if I was going to live.” My voice was so quiet now.

“What did you do?”

“I had to get out of there.”

“How?”

I remembered forcing my fingers to let go of the window frame, but I didn’t release it.

I still held on.

The window was locked. Edmund kept every window locked, but there were two locks. One was at the top, and I kept that unlocked out of habit. When he checked the windows, he’d only check the bottom lock. He was too lazy to move the curtain aside to check the top one.

I said, “I unlocked the window behind me, but he was staring right at me.”

“Did he say anything to you?”

I frowned. Had he? It’d been so long since I had to remember this all. “I think…” Wait…I remembered something new. “He came up because I had a phone call.”

“That boy called today.”

“Justin called earlier.” That was why he was in my room. “Edmund was angry with me, saying the same stuff as always.”

“What did he always say?”

“He liked to ramble about my eyes.”

“Your eyes?”

The confusion from Erica pulled me back.

I slipped away from my old bedroom and came back to the hotel room. I was once again sitting in my chair, staring at a camera and a friend, but it felt like they weren’t there. I shivered, feeling Edmund there.

I gestured to my face. “I have colored contacts, but my real eye color is unique. He would think I was a demon when he was really drunk. He’d rant about it and how I was sent to tempt him.” My gut shifted, sinking low. I felt sick. “Some days, he’d say I was a goddess, and other days, Lucifer sent me. But that day—” I stopped. My mouth grew dry. I was almost too scared to continue. “He wasn’t saying any of that on that day.”

“What happened, Jo?”

Jo. Not Jordan.

I shook myself awake. I was doing a live interview. Wake up. I had to focus.

Drawing in a short breath, I shoved the memories aside and concentrated on the camera again. “He was saying things about how he needed to eradicate his temptation once and for all. He wouldn’t be unfaithful. He was a loyal servant, but he was at his end. He had to take care of me. I knew I didn’t have a lot of time, but then I heard the front door open. I thought someone was coming to save me, and I hoped. I looked, but—”

I felt something trickle down my cheek.

I gazed down. A tear fell to my arm.

“No one was coming. They were leaving. It was his wife and the kids. They were in a hurry because she always had them dressed nice whenever they left but not that day. They were in sweatpants and T-shirts. They didn’t even have their coats on.”

There was dead silence, both in the hotel room and that day in the bedroom.

She had abandoned me. “I was going to die. I knew it then.”

“How did—” Erica’s voice choked off before she coughed, clearing it. “How did Kian see you that day?”

“They left in the car the same time he was crossing the street. He saw them go. I thought that was what made him come and see what was going on.” I knew better now. “He looked up and saw me in the window.”

I flinched. It had only been for a second, but I still remembered when our eyes met.

He saw me, and something turned off in him. His mouth flattened. His face grew hard and impassive, but it was his eyes. I knew what he was going to do when he came, and when he started for the door, I turned back around.

Kian was coming.

Edmund didn’t realize it. He was behind me. He didn’t know whom I saw in that slight moment. But then he drew closer to me, bringing the knife up to my throat and whispered, “I cannot take you anymore.”

He bent close, so his breath was coating my face. I bit down on my lip to keep from cursing at him. I needed him to wait. I needed time to pause.

“He started cutting me.” I looked down to my lap. My nails were bleeding, so I tucked them under my legs. I couldn’t look into the lens anymore. “He was going to have fun torturing me. He wanted the demon in me to come out, and then he was going to pour salt into my wounds. He thought that would anger the demon even more.”

A small cut to the hands. A mild cut to the wrists. As he kept going, the cuts got deeper and deeper. The tops of my arms. Edmund lifted my shirt. He made me take it off, and he cut where my ribs were. Across my stomach. My hip bones. He turned me around then. At the same time, he reached around and pulled the curtain all the way down to the window frame. No one could see us.

Where’s that boy?

I remembered wondering that.

He began cutting my back. He was carving a pattern into my skin. When he was done, he turned me around again, and stepped back to admire his work.

His gaze fell to my breasts.

“I think he would’ve cut them off.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “That was when Kian burst into the room.”

He saw the blood.

“What happened then?”

I didn’t want to remember, but I forced myself to look back up to the camera. “He killed Edmund. That was what he did. Edmund threatened to kill me if Kian didn’t leave. He grabbed me and brought the knife to my throat. He was going to slice my throat then and there.”

“But he didn’t?”

I shook my head. Everything was so painful. “Kian lunged for Edmund, and they fought.” I closed my eyes. Kian knocked him down, then he moved so fast. He grabbed the knife and sliced Edmund’s throat instead. I said, “Kian was alive. I was alive. Edmund was dead.” No one needed to hear me recite what happened after that.

“The police reports say that Kian stabbed Edmund seventeen times.”

“I don’t care.” That was the truth. “Kian saved my life. I didn’t ask him to. I didn’t seduce him. I didn’t even really know him before that day. I had no idea that he even knew I existed, but I am thankful he did. He saved my life.