Me? I went out and partied, cracked stupid jokes, and shut down any and all deeper connections. It’s worked so far, but seeing Ivy so gone on Gray and still she has to live this life? I don’t understand it.
Ivy’s long fingers wrap tight around her mug. “It was better when I could go with him. It sucks when we’re apart. I won’t lie about that, but…” She worries her bottom lip with her teeth. “I don’t know how else to explain it except to say that Gray is my heart. Life simply doesn’t work without him in it so…” She shrugs. “We do what we have to do during his season.”
“And that’s really enough?”
Her smile is almost secretive. “Yeah,” she says softly. “Gray is more than enough.”
The way she says it, like he’s the joy that begins and ends her day, hits me square in the chest, and I have trouble breathing. Loneliness is this cold, drafty thing blowing over me, making me want to hug myself tight.
How must it feel? To be a part of someone else? And they’re a part of you? Someone to have your back no matter what?
My knuckles press against the table. I should be enough for me. I shouldn’t feel lonely. Fuck. Maybe I’m getting hormonal or something.
Thankfully, I don’t have to wallow in my weird maudlin mood because the front door opens, and Dex and Gray amble in. My heart rate kicks up, seeing Dex’s massive frame outlined in the doorway.
Gray zeroes in on Ivy. “Is he sleeping?”
“I put him down twenty minutes ago.”
Baby G might not sleep at night, but he naps like a champ, a good two hours at a stretch. Something Gray knows better than I do.
He grins. “Shenanigans are go.”
Yeah, I don’t even want to know what that means, though I can guess.
Especially when Ivy blushes. “Seriously?”
“As a Hail Mary on Super Bowl Sunday. On your feet, woman. Time’s a wasting.”
Ivy grumbles under her breath about perverted cupcakes—again, don’t want or need to know—and then gets to her feet. She’s hauled off by Gray a second later. He carries her up the stairs, taking them two at a time.
“I got to give it to him,” I say to Dex, who hasn’t left the kitchen. “His stamina is impressive.”
“Motivation helps,” he answers dryly. God, he has a nice voice. Smooth, deep, even. “But, then, you know, we do train for stamina.”
There’s a gleam in his eyes that goes straight to my sex, gives it a teasing tweak.
I lurch up from my seat and refill my coffee cup because I’m not falling for that one. “You want a cup?” I ask.
Dex still hasn’t moved from the entrance to the kitchen. Steady as always, I suppose. While I’m fluttering around like a fool.
He nods and walks to the heavy pine farm table that sits beneath a wall of windows. The table fills me with pride because I made it. I never intended to make furniture, but my two friends Jackson and Hal are furniture designers and cajoled me to give it a try. I love creating something with my own hands, going from concept to completion.
This table was my first try, and while I see where I could improve things, the design works well here, counterbalancing the modern, gleaming white cabinets and copper-covered appliances—because Ivy thought steel was boring.
And because veritable giants live in this house, the seats are large and sturdy. Even so, Dex’s frame swallows up the chair as he sits in it.
I bring him a cup, and then I notice: he’s wearing his hair down. Holy hell. It falls in thick, brown waves to the top of his collar. The sun has left streaks of gold running through it. And while the combination of full beard and flowing hair should be too much—call to mind an iconic Jesus or something—it isn’t. It just looks hot. Wild. Touchable.
I sit and curl my fingers around my mug.
He does the same, and the late-morning sun shines through the window, illuminating his tattoos. Black and red roses, a clock, a sugar skull, an indigo dragon, a 1940s battleship—there’s a lot to look at. They run up his arms and under his sleeves, making me wonder if his chest and torso are covered too.
“Do they have meaning?” I ask, because I’m clearly looking.
“Some do.” His rich voice is almost a shock to my system, as if by speaking, he’s flicked my senses into overload. But he doesn’t notice. “Some of them just came to me while I was drawing.”
“You drew these?”
He nods, takes a sip of his coffee. “It relaxes me.”
“I like to draw too. Mostly room designs nowadays.”
“You did a great job with the house,” he says, not bothering to look around. I have no doubt he’s already made a study of the entire place.
“Thanks.”
I’d like to think we’re just making chit-chat. That we’re just like any other casual acquaintances who happen to be houseguests at the same time and place. But that’s not what’s happening. Because Dex’s gaze never leaves mine.
It’s unnerving. Hot. As if behind his light conversation, what he’s really saying is, You loved it, didn’t you? Sucking on my tongue, grinding on my cock. You want it again, don’t you?
Heat washes over me, and I struggle not to shift in my seat.
I realize we’ve stopped talking and are simply staring at each other. Every place he didn’t touch last night—every place I want him to touch—is hot and achy.
I take a deep breath. Watch him do the same.
I’m about to bolt when he leans forward, his muscled forearms sliding a bit closer. “Go out with me. On a date.”
“What?” I push back from the table. But I can’t make my legs lift me. “I thought last night was…”
“A mistake?” He slowly shakes his head. “Not for me.”
I know I’m gaping. I can’t seem to stop. “But, but…”
His eyes crinkle. In the full sun, I see that they’re a striking blend of colors—blue, green, gold, and brown—like polished agate. “Speechless?” he says. “I like it.”
My mouth snaps shut. Then promptly opens. “You like me speechless. Well, there’s a great motivator for going out with you.”
“Like that I made you speechless. That I flustered you.” He tilts his head as he looks me over. “You do the same to me. Get me all worked up. Only it seems to make me talk more than usual, not less.”
A fresh wave of heat washes through me.
“Dex—”
“Ethan,” he interjects softly. “Will you call me Ethan? At least some of the time?”
“Ethan,” I say quietly, and it feels intimate. Especially when his lids lower as though I’ve stroked his skin just by saying his name. I swallow hard. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t seem like the hookup type.”
“I’m not.” He clenches his mug again. “I don’t think you really are either.”
“No,” I admit with a small smile. “Not really. I’m looking for more now.”
Dex—Ethan—nods. “Thing is, we’re both here for the week. Ivy and Gray are in no condition to entertain. I like you. A lot. Why don’t we go out together?”
“Erm…that’s not what your proposition sounded like to me. You said on a date.”
His lush lips curl. No, do not look at his mouth. I watch his lips move.
“I did. I want to kiss you again, Fiona. I couldn’t sleep last night because I wanted that so badly.”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“So, yeah, I said date. Because if you let me, I’m going to kiss you again, as much as I can.”
It’s a struggle to find my voice. “Neither of us is looking for casual. We don’t even live in the same city. I don’t date athletes. Or friends of my sister. Or—”
“Why don’t we start with what you do,” he cuts in, his gaze direct, firm. It lowers to my mouth before sliding back up to my eyes. “Do you want to kiss me again, Fiona?”
Why does he have to say my name that way? As if it’s a dare. And why is he so damn perceptive?
His eyes bore into me. “Did you think about me last night? In your bed?”
No one has ever been so blunt with me. Ever. It does my head in, giving me no place to hide.
“All I’m asking is for the truth,” he says, his big, strong body rock solid in his chair.