With her head down, she strode for the end of the bar, then around the side to the darkened stairwell leading to the parking lot. The club had quieted, the drama she always seemed to bring with her setting in yet again.

All she could hear were footsteps—her own, soft footfalls of patrons and heavy thumping right behind her that could be her thunderous heartbeat echoing in her ears.

“Hey.” A strong arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back into a chiseled chest. “Don’t run.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and shrank into T.J.’s hold, ashamed and so damn sorry that she’d tainted the one place he’d wanted to remain his own. “Please forgive me. I had no intention of being with anyone tonight.” Her voice was breaking. “We thought the Vault would be quieter than a dance club in the city. And—”

“We?”

There was no way she was going to blame Shay. Although coerced, Cassie had always had a choice. “Yes.”

He gave a halfhearted chuckle, his warm breath brushing over her ear. “You and Shay have become close.”

“I’m not going to blame her, if that’s what you mean.”

“No.” He gripped her shoulder and turned her to face him. “That’s definitely not what I meant. I expected to find you down here with a man, not a woman. Least of all Shay.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, no matter what has happened between us.” She frowned up at him, trying to understand what his words and the sad smile on his face meant. “I’d never be with another man in your club, and definitely not the night before our divorce.”

He nodded, the movement slow and dreary. “I hoped as much.”

Damn him. She didn’t want to hear this. “I need to go.” She pushed at his chest, feeling a wave of grief as he willingly let her walk away. “Again, I’m sorry.”

“Cassie, wait.”

Her feet planted of their own accord as she stared at the top of the staircase, wishing she was closer to freedom.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

There was nothing left. Tomorrow their marriage would be over. She’d agreed to all his conditions. The paperwork to hand over her share of the business was prepared and ready to be signed. She’d spent weeks coming to terms with the dissolution of what they’d once had, and she was trying her best to finally embrace independence.

“I know I’ve dragged you to hell and back.” His voice was gravel-rich. Filled with turmoil. “But I wanted to know if you’d forgive me if I changed my mind.”

She frowned at the faint light coming in through the door at the staircase. “Changed your mind?”

“About the divorce.”

The light faded. Everything in her body shut down. Her heart stopped, her knees threatened to buckle, her lungs wouldn’t fill with air.

“I’ve made many mistakes, but I can’t live without you.”

The words were drifting through her ears, not penetrating. She was still stuck on those four words—I changed my mind.

“I want to make this right—” his soft footsteps approached and the heat of his chest settled into her back, “—I know you probably can’t forgive me. All I’m asking is that you’ll try.”

Her chest tightened with the lack of oxygen, her face began to heat.

“I’m not a perfect man, Cass. I no longer believe I’m even a good man. I dragged you into a lifestyle you never should’ve been a part of. But I still hope you’ll give me another chance to make it up to you. To set things right and get our marriage on track.”

He pressed his lips to the back of her head, and she squeezed her eyes shut to stop tears from forming.

“Nothing has changed.” Her words dripped with defiance. “Unless your guilt has suddenly disappeared, which I doubt. So nothing between us is different. Your excuse for breaking my heart is still there.”

He held her tighter. “I’m different.”

“This isn’t fair,” she whispered. “I’m not going to live with the thought of you leaving hanging over my head.”

He couldn’t dictate their future based on a whim. A whim was what had gotten them here in the first place—the thoughtless decision to go to an unknown sex club had started this chain reaction.

She turned to him, meeting the darkness of his stare in the shadowed hallway. “Am I meant to take you back and forget you kept things from me? That none of this would’ve happened if only you’d opened up to me?”

“I wanted to spare you the pain. But you know the truth now and I can’t stand the thought of you dealing with it alone.” He straightened, dropping his hands from her waist. “But, no, you don’t have to take me back at all. I just want you to know I made a mistake. I made many. And if given the chance, I’ll make it up to you.”

“How?” She wasn’t sure it was possible. The pain he’d put her through was beyond words. “I love you, T.J., but I can’t come back to you when you click your fingers. I can’t dust my hands of everything you’ve done in the past twelve months and pretend it never happened. Our problems started long before those secrets drove you from our house.”

Nobody could deny her commitment to him. But at some point, she had to remember the commitment she had to herself. To self-preservation. He had to give her more.

“I don’t blame you.” He nodded and stepped back. “And I understand what you’re trying to say.”

“No, you don’t.” She bridged the space between them in two steps. “There were times when I thought I was going to die from the torment of losing you. Not just when you served me the divorce papers. It all started the night of the assault.”

She scrutinized him, hoping for once he would understand what agony really meant. “If anyone had the right to walk away, it was me. You were hurting me because you couldn’t handle your own pain. You punished me—”

“I know.”

“—because you couldn’t…” She frowned at him. “Wait…did you just agree with me?”

“Yes.” He swallowed deep. “I was punishing you because I couldn’t handle what happened that night. I thought it was guilt. But it was so much more. There was fear and failure. I’d always tried to do everything right by you, and in the blink of an eye, I ruined it all. It scared the hell out of me, Cass. It still does. And I’ll never forgive myself.”

“If you can’t forgive yourself, how am I meant to?” She pressed closer, unwilling to let him off so easily, yet unable to stay away. They both knew where this was heading. It could only ever end in her heartfelt acquiescence. He had to earn it though.

“Your heart is much bigger than mine. You’ll forgive me before I forgive myself.” He cupped her cheek and caressed her skin with his thumb.

“Then my next question is how can I trust you to not react the same way if I make another bad judgment call in the future?” She raised her chin, their mouths so close she could feel their breath mingling over her lips.

“I’m going to make mistakes, T.J. I want to make mistakes. But you need to trust that I’ve weighed the risks and come to the conclusion on my own. This garbage about you dragging me into a lifestyle I was never meant to be a part of is insulting. I want to be here. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come tonight.” She swallowed over the dryness in her throat. “Yes, I’ll be smarter in the future, but I can’t live with the fear of you leaving me again. I don’t care if it’s for my own good. I need to know you’ll talk to me.”

“I promise to try.”

“Not good enough.” She retreated a step.

He reached out his arm and dragged her back into his chest. “I’ll do everything in my power to love you more than life itself.”

“I’ve always had your love. What I want now is your trust. Have faith that I can take responsibility for my own mistakes, and be confident I can deal with the consequences.”

He pressed his lips together, fighting the emotion taking over his face. “I promise.”

“Really?”

“Cassie, I’m trying my hardest. I always will. But I’m not going to lie to you. Until something happens, I can only prepare myself to act better in the future.”