“When do you think Bushman and Benji are gonna leave?” I ask as the camping trailer comes into view, still parked in the driveway. “They don’t need to be here anymore. We can take you and Lily back to Guelph whenever you’re ready to go.”

“Benji won’t leave until he and Lily are back together.”

“Is that gonna happen anytime soon?”

Sunny shrugs. “Who knows with those two?”

I grab my bag from the rental. “Does this break-up thing happen a lot?”

“I guess it depends on what a lot is. They break up three or four times a year.”

That sure seems like a lot. “What’s the point of getting back together at all?”

“Lily says the sex is really good.”

Really good wouldn’t be good enough for me to put up with that shit, but I don’t say anything. Lily is Sunny’s bestie. If I know one thing about girls, it’s not to talk shit about their friends.

I peek inside the trailer as we pass. Benji seems to have gotten his ass up. The question is, where is he now, and how soon will he be leaving? His location becomes obvious when we walk into the cottage. Lily and Benji are in the kitchen having an out-and-out screaming match. Actually, Lily’s the screamer. Benji leans against the counter while she gets in his face.

Randy sits at the table across the room, eating a bowl of cereal and browsing a magazine like nothing is happening. The weird dick sculpture wearing the superhero cape is still on the table. I need to check that out later. Bushman is nowhere to be seen.

“We’re done, Benji! I’m not doing this anymore with you! How many times do I have to say it’s over before you get it?”

“You say this every time, and then we get back together.” He’s cocky about it, smirking like a jackass.

“Not this time!” Under all that anger are tears. She’s fighting them. I can see the tremble in her chin, even from across the room.

Benji laughs. Maybe it’s because he’s got an audience. Then again, maybe he really is a giant dick. “If I leave, you know you’ll be calling me in a couple hours, crying like you always do. So why don’t you take the bitch down a notch?”

Now Lily has been a serious pain in my ass where Sunny’s concerned. But no matter how I feel about her interference, I’m not cool with guys calling their girlfriends bitches. It’s demeaning. And he’s doing it in front of other people, which makes me wonder what he says to her when no one else is around. I’m about to say something, but Randy beats me to it.

He pauses with his spoon halfway to his mouth. “The fuck you say to her?”

“Mind your own business,” Benji snaps.

Randy’s eyebrows lift, and he drops his spoon in his bowl. Milk splatters the table, his beard, and his shirt. He doesn’t seem to notice or care as he pushes his chair back. “Mind my own business?” Randy crosses the kitchen until he’s towering over Benji. Randy’s tall, but not as built as me. I tell him he’s skinny all the time. In hockey he’s lean; in the real world he’s intimidating, and he’s got about fifty pounds on Benji.

Randy thumbs over his shoulder at Lily. “You’ve been following her around the house like an untrained puppy for the past twenty minutes, needling the shit out of her right in front of me. Maybe it’s time you take a fucking hint and leave like she’s been asking you to.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“You sure about that?” Randy cracks his knuckles.

“I have a brown belt in karate.”

“And I have a black belt in kick your fucking ass.”

Then the weirdest thing in the world happens. Lily grabs Randy by the shoulder, spins him around, and suctions her mouth to his.

“Is there a full moon?” I ask Sunny, who looks as shocked as me.

She doesn’t even have to think about her answer. “It’s not until next week.”

Randy’s hands are up in the air. His eyes are as wide as Sunny’s—and Benji’s. It’d be comical if it wasn’t so fucked up.

“Fuck you, Lily!” Benji yells and stomps off.

Lily breaks free from Randy’s mouth, covers his ears with her palms, and shouts, “No. Fuck you, Benji!”

He turns around to say something else, but Lily glues her lips to Randy’s again. Benji slams through the front door in a snit.

At this point it’s safe for Lily to disengage, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. Eventually, Randy takes her face in his hands and unlocks their mouths. Both Sunny and I are still staring.

“I think you proved your point, honey.”

Lily blinks. “What?”

“I think he got the message. You’re good.”

She shakes her head. “Oh. Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean. Shit.” She lets go of him like he’s a grenade without a pin.

“Unless you wanna keep going. I’ve already seen you naked, so we’re halfway there, right?” He grins and winks.

“Ugh. You’re a pig!”

Randy laughs as she pushes past him and heads for the stairs, her face an interesting shade of red. “I like your friend, Sunny. She’s fun.”

Randy laces his fingers together and stretches his arms over his head as he watches Lily run up the stairs. “I think I’m gonna go for a swim.”

It’s hot, and I smell like sex, so joining him seems like a smart plan. “I’mma do that, too. You coming?”

Sunny scratches the underside of her boob. “I’m gonna change my bathing suit first. I think there might be pine needles stuck in this one or something. I’m itchy.”

“You want help with that?” I slide a finger under the fabric and graze her nipple.

“Later I want help with a lot of things. I should check on Lily first.”

“Sure thing, sweets.” I kiss her and then wait until she’s up the stairs and out of sight before I search my bag for a pair of swim shorts. I strip in the middle of the living room and change while Randy cleans up his mess. He’s already in swim shorts, so we go down to the dock together.

The camping trailer isn’t in the driveway anymore. Maybe that means Bushman is gone for good. Things are finally looking up.

***

We spend what’s left of the afternoon down at the dock. According to Sunny, the khaki twins have gone home for good. She called Bushman and told him, over voice mail, that they’d only ever be friends, and she hoped she hadn’t given him the wrong impression. I almost feel bad for him. Except he’s an asshole.

When the sun hangs over the tree line and my stomach starts to rumble, we go back up to the cottage to make dinner. While Sunny prepares some stuffed pepper deal, I check the fridge for animal products to go with it. I should know better—it’s full of tofu and fresh produce. The only item that isn’t plant-based is a container of non-dairy creamer, and that’s synthetic junk. If we’re going to stay a while, Randy and I will need to pick up some bacon and burgers at the very least. When I check the freezer, I find lobster tails and crab legs. If I’m going to eat Waters’ food, it might as well be the expensive stuff.

We don’t eat dinner until almost nine, which Sunny tells me is typical at the cottage. As long as there’s lots of food and it tastes good, I don’t care about timing. Lily comes down and surveys the table. It seats eight comfortably, but the only unused place setting is beside Randy. None of us—apart from Sunny—has seen her since the blowout with Benji and the face sucking with Randy. She doesn’t so much as look at him, but her face is red again, and she’s uncommonly quiet.

She guzzles her glass of wine and tops it off, staring at the contents while conversation goes on around her. Sunny and Randy get along well, which is a bonus. If I could find some common ground with Lily, we’d be golden. I can tell she wants to escape, but she stays, maybe because she doesn’t want to be rude.

“What is this thing, anyway?” She picks up the orange sculpture from the center of the table. The cape around its neck looks like it’s supposed to be for Superman, except it has the letters MC on it. There are googly eyes and a mustache.