“Sometimes all you need is a good boning, even with the person you love. Anyway, I’m not talking about media perception of who you’re boning. I’m talking about that camp you went to. You did an interview, and it was awesome. People are already falling in love with you.

“Get more positive attention. Stop going to the bars, stop going to Lance’s for parties, and stop getting yourself into more trouble. Find out what’s going to be happening at places before you show up. Regardless of what goes down between you and Sunny, this thing you want to do is good. It’s the version of you everyone should get to see.”

Funny how losing someone important is the thing that finally makes me decide to step outside my comfort zone. Now I wish I would’ve done it sooner.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

MAKING CH-CH-CHANGES

Despite her repeated attempts to get me to stay in Toronto for the night, Vi drops me at the airport.

“You gonna be all right to drive to Guelph from here?” I ask her. It’s almost ten. It’s been a long day.

“I’m good. I’ll stop at a Timmy’s and get a coffee.”

I grab my bags from the trunk. “Thanks for being here for me today.”

Vi wraps her arms around my waist and gives me a hug. “What are sisters for?”

I drop the bags and return it. We might not be related for real, but we’re tight like siblings should be.

“Message me when you get to Guelph so I don’t worry, okay?”

“Okay. And you do the same when you get back to Chicago.”

I wait until she’s in the car and on the road before I go into the airport. I get a seat on a flight that leaves in less than two hours. I upgrade so I can hang out in the VIP lounge and maybe catch a nap.

Vi messages me right after I get through security to let me know she’s made it to the Waters’ house. I don’t ask about Sunny, even though I want to. I do ask how things are with Waters and whether I need to break his nose again for her. I get a voice memo telling me she’ll be the one breaking things if it comes to that. She sounds sad. I don’t like it, but it’s not my relationship to manage, and Violet knows how to deal with Waters better than me.

I set an alarm so I don’t miss my flight and stretch out across one of the couches. Holding my phone to my chest, I close my eyes. It feels like I’m only out for a few minutes when vibrating wakes me. It takes me a while to clue in that it’s a call, not my alarm. Prying my eyes open, I hold it up and wait for it to come into focus.

Sunny’s face flashes across the screen, her bright smile darkening my mood. I let it go to voice mail. I’m not capable of dealing right now. Regardless, I wait to see if she’s going to leave me a message. Less than a minute later, my phone chimes with a new voice mail.

I key in my code and let my finger hover over the play button. Eventually I give in and listen. Sunny’s voice is a warm hug and a knife in the chest.

“Hi, Miller. I guess you’re not answering your phone right now. Or maybe you’re not answering for me.” Her voice cracks. “I know I shouldn’t have left with Alex today, but I didn’t want you two to fight. And with Kale and Benji being there, I worried things would get way out of hand, and Lily was upset about . . . well, everything. Violet got here a while ago. She said Alex broke your nose, and I gave you stitches.” She hiccups. “I guess maybe I wasn’t ready for this relationship. I’m sorry I couldn’t trust you . . . never mind. Can you just call me?”

Every time I replay it I’m dragged farther down into emotional sludge. It doesn’t sound like she wants to get back together. It sounds like she’s done.

***

The flight home sucks. Some over-processed chick has the seat beside me in first class. She wants to talk. It’s almost midnight; all I want to do is get my ass home and wallow. I’ve never been a wallower before, but it seems appropriate, considering.

Once I’m back in Chicago, I spend the next two days playing video games and eating meat-lovers pizza and suicide wings while drinking soda. I avoid Lance and Randy when they call. I don’t hear from Sunny again, and I don’t return her call. What is there to say? I do, however, hear from Violet. She’s damn well relentless with the phone calls and messages and emails.

On day three of my undetermined wallowing period, my door buzzer goes off during an epically shitty video game session. I’m not expecting anyone.

I get up off the couch and shuffle to the intercom. “Yeah?”

“Buck?”

“Dad?” What the fuck? “I thought you and Skye were away.”

“We got back last night.”

“Oh. How was the trip?”

“Good. You wanna let me in, Son?”

“I’m here too!” That’s Skye, my stepmom. “The trip was better than good, but I can’t share the details without embarrassing Sidney!”

“Don’t start, Mom. I’m here, too, Buck,” Violet says. “Open the door.”

“Sure. Okay.” I hit the buzzer and wait for the sound of the door opening before I release it. Violet has to be the reason for the family visit. I glance around my condo. It’s amazing the mess I can make in two days. I don’t even have the energy to care.

Also, I’m naked, since that’s how I roll when I’m alone and wallowing, or even not wallowing. Priority one is putting on clothes.

I find a cleanish pair of shorts and a shirt on the floor. There’s a knock a minute later. I open the door. Skye stands there with her arms wide. Then her smile freezes, along with the rest of her. My dad gives me the raised-eyebrow onceover.

Vi’s holding a tray of fast-food ice cream sundaes. Her nose crinkles. “Oh. Wow. Breakup does not look good on you.”

I ignore her. I’m not that bad, I don’t think. “Hey, family. Come on in. The place is a mess.” I step aside and gesture to my living room. The coffee table is covered in pizza boxes and Styrofoam containers of wing bones. Empty soda cans litter the floor.

“Oh, Buck!” Skye unfreezes and hugs me. She and Vi are almost exactly the same, from the way they look to the way they act, except Skye’s in her forties rather than her twenties. “I’m so sorry about you and Sunny.”

I pat her on the back. “Yeah, me, too.”

After she lets me go, my dad gives me a back pat. “You could’ve called. Even if I’m out of the country, I’m always here.”

“Yeah, I know. Things were cool until a couple of days ago. I wanted some time to myself.” My dad and I are close, but more in a hockey-talk way than deep feelings.

“Please tell me you didn’t eat all of this on your own.” Vi motions to the coffee table. “Never mind. Based on the smell in this place, I’m thinking yes. First things first: you need a shower. You smell like an actual yeti, if yetis were real. Then we’re staging an intervention.”

“An intervention?” I run my hand through my hair. It feels greasy.

“Yeah. You’ve had two full days of moping. That’s all you get.”

“Didn’t you mope for weeks after you and Waters broke up?”

“He has a first name, Buck. It’s Alex. And yes, I did. But I’m a girl. We get way more moping time than guys.” She searches through my kitchen until she finds a huge black garbage bag. “You.” She points at me. “Go shower. We’ll clean this up.”

“How are you even here right now? Don’t you have to work?”

“I have an emergency business meeting with a client. Go shower.”

I’d argue, but I’m pretty ripe.

Twenty minutes later I’m clean, but still unshaven, in clothes that don’t smell like stale food, and my living room doesn’t look like a pizza bomb went off anymore. All my windows are open, and Vi’s made coffee.

“Let’s sit on the balcony.”

My dad and Skye humor me by telling me about their cruise. I know it’s not what they’re here for. They don’t make me talk about Sunny, which is good. After a while, Skye and Vi decide I need groceries since all I have in the fridge is soda and a jug of milk that’s gone off, so they leave me and my dad alone.