“God, you’re so beautiful, Jules.” I pushed some of her hair, which had fallen across her face, behind her ear.

“I can take care of you too,” she whispered, grazing her hand across my straining trousers.

“Not tonight. I wanted tonight to be all about you, and I meant it.”

“I want you, Leo. I want you inside me right now.”

There’s not a straight man alive who could’ve resisted that invitation from her, especially with my uncomfortable hard-on doing most of the thinking.

“You are incredible, and there’s no place I’d rather be.”

I wrestled my pants off as I reached for a condom in the bedside table. After I’d rolled it on, I looked her in the eye to make sure her conviction was still there. If anything, she looked more lust filled and fiery. How did I get so goddamn lucky to find her?

I moved on top of her and her thighs opened further to accommodate my large frame. Juliette’s hands went to either side of my face and pulled me down to her. When my lips were almost touching hers, she whispered, “I want it hard and fast.”

Hearing those dirty words from her beautiful mouth sent most of the blood from my body surging south, and I slammed into her in one motion. Juliette’s head arched back against the pillow and her hands gripped my biceps. Her arched back made her mouth-watering breasts rise invitingly towards me, and I didn’t hesitate to tease her nipples with my tongue, licking each one slowly, in sharp contrast to the increasing speed with which I was slamming into her.

“Yes. Leo. Yes. Leo.” Juliette alternated between those words and became increasingly breathless as we both powered towards our release. When it came, it was like nothing I’d ever experienced. We both shattered together and I knew beyond any doubt that I never wanted to be with any other woman ever again. She was everything.

“So much for keeping your pants on,” she mocked.

“Hey. I tried. It’s not my fault you can’t resist me.”

She tried to punch me in the arm, but I grabbed her hand and kissed her hard on the mouth to shut her up.

Eventually, we managed to prise ourselves apart and take a shower. When we climbed back in bed, we resumed our position of lying face-to-face, mere inches separating us.

“When I’m with you, I feel brave,” she whispered. “Brave enough to be myself for the first time.” She reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers.

“What were you so afraid of?” I asked, squeezing her hand and rubbing my thumb over her knuckles.

She paused as if trying to collect her thoughts. “I was afraid my mum wouldn’t love me anymore if I wasn’t everything she wanted me to be. It sounds really silly to say it out loud. I’m an adult, for goodness’ sake.”

“There’s nothing silly about a child loving their mum.” A knot formed in my stomach and I felt the room sway. “You’ve carried around far too much guilt and it’s about time you let it go.”

“Risk taking has always been a coping mechanism, but it was all about the adrenaline rush. Taking a risk with my own life was calculated. Taking a risk with hers was unimaginable and, until you, never felt worth it. She’s always been there for me and, despite her obsessive ways, I knew she loved me.”

“Love between a parent and a child should be unconditional.” My heart ached in a way I hadn’t allowed it to in a long time. The lump in my throat was constricting my breathing. I didn’t like this line of conversation. “Controlling your life has probably kept her grief at bay all these years, and now that you’re not allowing that anymore, she’ll finally confront it.” I picked up her hand and squeezed it. “You’ve done her a favour, Jules.

“You never talk about your mum.” She said it so quietly I guessed she already sensed it was a touchy subject for me. A subject I didn’t like to think about, let alone talk about.

“She’s dead.”

Juliette squeezed my hand tighter. Having her so close to me was starting to feel more like a need than just a want. She wriggled forward and moulded herself so perfectly to my body. Her head nuzzled into the crook of my neck. “Tell me about her?”

I kissed her head and sighed. “Not tonight, angel.” I kissed her head again, sensing her disappointment in her slumped shoulders. “I’ll tell you about her one day.”

She looked up at me with trusting eyes. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m here for you. Okay?”

“Go to sleep, beautiful girl.”

I hugged her to me and breathed in time with her until I knew she was asleep. I couldn’t help the uneasy feeling I had that she was putting her trust in me and I had no real intention of opening up completely to her. I was doing her a favour sparing her the ugliness. Five years ago I’d lost both my parents in a way I couldn’t talk about. There was no point dredging up the past. I’d told her the only thing she needed to know about my mother: she was dead.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Leo

“Can we take my car to the farm?” Juliette asked as we lay in bed the next morning, unwilling to untangle ourselves from each other.

“Sure. Why?”

“I love to drive and don’t get much of a chance to in the city.”

“Okay. We’ll get the tram back to your apartment and go from there later this afternoon.”

She snuggled in closer and kissed my chest.

“Hardly worth having a car in the city. Motorbikes are much easier.”

“You have the Jeep though.”

“It was my dad’s. I just can’t bring myself to sell it.” I’d planned to sell it and even placed an ad about a year ago but pulled it as soon as I started getting enquiries. It’s crazy, really. It’s expensive to run and service, but it’s just sentimental I suppose.” I shook my head, knowing how ludicrous it sounded. “I should sell it.”

“It’s not crazy at all.” She hugged me tighter and kissed me lightly on the lips. I was again reminded of the peace this girl brought into my life with her simple comfort.

I threw a few things in a duffle bag, and then we caught the number sixteen tram back to the city. A short walk from the tram stop took us to her apartment on Southbank.

“Pack warm clothes for tonight. It’ll be cold at the farm. We might stay over at Bea and Angus’s if it gets too late to drive home, so maybe pack your toothbrush.”

“No sexy lingerie?” she purred, winking at me seductively.

She was killing me. I pulled her to me and kissed her. “I’ve changed my mind about the farm. Let’s just stay here all weekend.”

“I’m sorry,” she groaned as I continued my exploration of her neck. “I really want to go back to the farm.”

I kissed the delicate skin on her neck because I knew how much it turned her on. “Are you sure about that?” I said between kisses. “We can have a lot more fun here.”

She groaned as I continued my sensual assault across her collar bone and grazed my knuckles over her breasts.

“You promised me a light show,” she croaked out on jagged breaths.

***

My knuckles whitened as I death-gripped the grab handle while she deftly blipped down a gear and took a corner at a pace I would have thought utterly suicidal—except that she executed it perfectly. “Fuuuuck, Juliette.”

“What?” she asked, smiling nonchalantly and humming along to P!nk’s Raise Your Glass. “Did you know P!nk is my idol?”

She wasn’t kidding about how she loved to drive. I was observing more of the real Juliette behind the wheel. “No, I didn’t know that. She is pretty badass though, so it does make sense.”

“She is totally badass, but I reckon she’s so much more. She’s beyond talented, a fierce mother, a poster girl for feminism but most of all, unapologetic for being herself. It’s like she is who she is and doesn’t give a crap what anyone thinks.”

“Okay.”

She laughed, probably knowing her assessment of the singer was lost on me.

“I’ve always loved her music,” she continued. “But I never really listened. I always felt so inspired and motivated by her, but then I’d ignore my inner voice the second my mother said ‘boo’.”