“How long will you be gone?”

“Six weeks.”

I could hear him sigh. “You deserve this. You deserve to spread your wings.” He paused, and I thought for a second he’d hung up. “This is for the best, but please, can we talk in person when you get home? I love you.”

Hearing those words again from him was both confusing and wonderful.

“Okay,” I managed to sob out.

“Take care of yourself, Juliette.”

His words managed to jolt me from my self-destructive path. I had been a caged bird, held captive by people I loved, was meant to love or who were meant to love me. I was always waiting for the magic moments, but now I had my whole life ahead of me, and the cage door was wide open. My mother wouldn’t be telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. I had no boyfriend belittling me or using me for his own agenda. Even Leo, the man I loved, had broken my fragile heart even if he didn’t mean to.

Friendship had come to have real meaning, and I was slowly finding out who I really was. I wasn’t going to be anyone’s punching bag, because I was worth more than that.

I still cried myself to sleep that night, like I’d done every night that week, but it felt more therapeutic than the previous nights. I woke up determined and focused.

***

When I arrived at the Lightning Fight Centre on Saturday evening, I was itching to punch something or someone. I was riddled with nervous energy, and I had no idea if I could channel it properly in the ring. Zac greeted me inside and escorted me to the weigh-in area where I met my opponent, Christina Lee. Her trainer hovered over the scales as my weight was recorded. Zac did the same for Christina to ensure she was a legitimate lightweight. It was all very serious and intimidating, but I kept my shoulders back and my expression neutral.

“You’ll be in the red corner,” one of the officials stated, as he handed me a red singlet emblazoned with the promoter’s logo before turning to Christina and handing one to her. “You’re blue.”

“Thanks.” I walked back to my locker, where Zac was studying his clipboard.

“How are you feeling, Jules?” He looked up when I sat down on the bench next to him.

“I’m nervous but ready. Just want to get it over and done with, really.” Butterflies weren’t just in my stomach. They had taken over my whole body, and it was hard to sit still. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

I jumped up and walked to the door that led into the large main room where the crowd was assembling. Poking my head through the door, I gasped. I had already heard the hard rock music from the back room, but once the door was open, it was much louder. The Guns N’ Roses song, Welcome to the Jungle, pulsed out of the speakers. In the middle of the room was the raised boxing ring, surrounded by tables set up for the judges, officials and VIPs. Punters were flooding in through the main entrance to my left, raising the noise level with every passing minute.

I couldn’t see them, but Juniper and Sia had insisted on coming when Zac had told them about it, and I wondered if they were there yet. It would be good to have a few friendly faces in the audience for my first fight, and I was grateful for their support. Apparently it’s different when you’re in the ring, and nothing can prepare you for how you’ll react.

Knowing I would be called soon, I made my way back to Zac, who was now standing, and a relieved expression replaced his furrowed brow when he saw me.

“You’re on in fifteen minutes. Let’s start warming up.”

I glanced over at Christina who was busy admiring her reflection in a hand mirror, and I felt some of my butterflies disappear. Vanity has no place in the ring.

“Don’t get too complacent, Jules,” Zac said when he saw what I was looking at. “She may look like a show pony, but she has more experience than you in the ring.

“I don’t care what experience she’s had,” I stated. “I’m going to smash her.”

After my warm-up, Zac stood in front of me and held both my upper arms, looking me dead in the eye. “Sweat more in peace. Bleed less in war.”

I looked at him quizzically, a fine trickle of sweat dripping down the side of my face.

“That’s an old boxing mantra.” Zac’s soothing voice calmed more of my nerves. “You’ve put in the hard work, Jules, and now it’s your time to fight for glory.”

“Juliette Salinger. You’re up,” the official announced. Then he moved over to my opponent, Christina Lee, and I watched her nod as she bounced around, warming up. She’d thrown a few glares my way, but they bounced off me like ping-pongs.

Zac put my red hooded gown over my shoulders and ushered me towards the door. I was glad I’d taken a look earlier so I wasn’t so awestruck by the room, even though it was now full and a lot noisier. We made a beeline for the ring as the MC announced us to the sound of loud applause. I climbed into the ring and moved to my corner. I was glad to have Zac with me for last-minute advice based on what he’d seen of Christina’s warm-up.

“You’ve got this, Jules,” he stated firmly as he pushed my mouthguard into place. “You’ve got three rounds of three minutes each. Make every second count.”

I nodded and moved away from him, turning to face my opponent. I cast my gaze quickly around the audience, immediately spotting my friends. It was hard to miss Sia jumping up and down like a yo-yo, calling out in an over excited tone, “That’s my friend up there.” Sitting down next to her was Juniper, Jason and Aspen. Wow. I had a lot of support. I scanned the rest of the audience, unable to shake the strange feeling making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I could feel Leo’s presence, even though I couldn’t see him. It was probably just nervous tension.

I bounced on the spot, my head protector firmly in place and my hands securely covered in black Everlast gloves held up in front of me. My mouthguard was uncomfortable, and I jostled it around in my mouth, trying to get used to its presence.

It was time to focus. It was time to be in the moment and find my magic.

Unlike martial arts, boxing does appear simple, with just the punches, but there’s far more to it than that. Unlike kickboxing, where you can kick opponents from a distance and keep them at bay to slow the fight down and get a breather, and Muay Thai, where you can gain a breather by locking your opponent in a grapple, boxing affords you no break. You can’t hold, so you can only keep the opponent at arm’s length. Effectively, they can always punch you. This will mean the work rate is exceptionally high, as you need to keep exchanging blows to keep ahead on the score cards.

I knew my punches were far from perfect. Zac had done his best to train me, but I had an inner strength and a steely resolve to harness adrenaline rather than be crippled by it. I’d been tapping into it for years, and I was banking on that being my ultimate weapon.

I stared in the eyes of my opponent and, in that moment, I could see all her demons. My eyes were speaking to her and I knew she understood. “I’m going to win. I’m going to own this fight and I’m going to own you.” Her eyes faltered and I thought I had her.

I thought wrong.

The three minutes between the buzzer announcing the start and finish were a blur. I honestly wouldn’t have been able to describe a single thing that happened.

When I stumbled back to my corner, Zac was waiting for me. He took out my mouthguard, wiped my face with a towel and gave me a mouthful of water, holding out a bucket for me to spit in. “You need to slow down, Juliette. You rushed all your punches and you’re not being effective. You’re just trying to smash her without thinking.”

I nodded my head, barely able to form a single cohesive thought. What if I can’t channel my adrenaline? What if I fail? What if she really hurts me? A flurry of negative thoughts entered my psyche, and I felt my confidence seeping out of my sweaty pores. When I’d seen all of Christina’s demons, I guess she’d seen mine too.