“Thank you for your help today. I’m going to think about the second dress,” I say to Louisa.

“Yes, of course,” Louisa says, giving me a puzzled look at my abruptness.

Julia and I walk out of the store and decide to have lunch at a bistro nearby.

“Sophie, what happened in there?” Julia asks once we are seated in the restaurant.

I stare out the window and breath out a heavy sigh.

“I don’t know, I started freaking out I guess.”

“Why, you mean you were getting cold feet?”

“I guess you could call it that. You know I was engaged to marry someone else less than a year ago? I went through a lot of the wedding planning. Bought a dress and everything. Trying on dresses again just brought up these feelings of guilt and remorse. I love Marcus, I do. But marriage to someone like him scares me.”

“What about it scares you?”

“He was such a player before, enjoyed variety. How can he really commit a lifetime to me?”

“Marriage is a gamble. I had some of those same feelings with Richie. Wondered if I would be enough for him. It’s hard marrying a man who has girls throwing themselves at him. It’s hard marrying a hunky man,” Julia says with a wink.

I let out a small laugh. “I’ve actually met two of Marcus’s ex’s and he tells me they meant nothing to him. Maybe that’s what he will be saying about me five years from now.”

“No Sophie, I see the way he looks at you. With the look of eternal love.”

I give her a coy smile as I fiddle with my water glass. “He does seem pretty devoted to me.”

“I think what you’re going through is normal. Just remember, follow your heart.”

“I know, you’re right.”

“Now, back to that amazing dress. Is it the one?”

“Yes, I did love it on.”

“Then let’s go buy it after lunch and you can check that off your wedding to do list.”

“Sounds good. Thanks for going with me today. I would have loved to have my mom with me, but I will be lucky to get her to fly all this way for the wedding.”

“Really? Why do you say that?”

“She adored John, my ex. She thinks I’m making a mistake marrying Marcus. She doesn’t think he is a long haul kind of guy.”

“That’s too bad. I wasn’t sure my parents were going to like my tatted up rocker man, but once they spent time with him, they saw how sweet he is and he won them over. Has your mom spent anytime getting to know Marcus?”

“No, not really.”

“Then she doesn’t really know him does she?”

“True.”

Chapter 13

Marcus

“Hi, any luck finding a dress today?” I say, walking into the kitchen. Sophie is pulling something out of the oven and I give her a peck on the lips.

“Not yet,” is all she replies. She’s a little sedate tonight and seems preoccupied.

“Did you make an appointment with the Savoy?”

“Not yet.”

“Sophie, I want to set a date. We need to book the reception venue soon.”

“I know.”

“What’s wrong, do you want it somewhere else?”

“No, the Savoy is fine.”

“Just fine, Sophie, it’s one of the poshest places in London to have a wedding. Can you show a little more enthusiasm?” Damn, my feelings are hurt. It’s as if she doesn’t want to get married or something.

We eat in silence for a while before she speaks again.

“I’m sorry, it’s been a long, overwhelming day.”

“I thought girls love wedding dress shopping and all that girly stuff.”

“I just missed having my mom there with me.”

“Oh, I see,” I reply. I know all too well how Mrs. Shawn feels about me. She doesn’t think I am right for her precious daughter. I’m going to give her the world on a silver platter, but that’s still not good enough for Mrs. Shawn.

“You know how she hates to fly, so I didn’t bother asking her to come help me.”

“I do know how she feels about us getting married, about you marrying me. Is that what this is about?” I ask. Sophie shrugs.

“Look Marcus, I went through all this not too long ago and it’s just overwhelming me.”

“Do you have any regrets,” I dare ask and then hold my breath while I wait for her reply.

“No regrets, more like remorse and guilt for what I did.”

“I love you Sophie, and I want you to be my wife. Do you want to be my wife, do you want ME to be your husband?”

“Yes, of course I do. You know I do.”

“Well sometimes you don’t act like it,” I say with a scowl. Do you know how many women would love to snag me as a husband, I feel like saying, but I bite it back. What’s up with her? I know she loves me. She’s afraid of marriage.

“You’re afraid of marriage aren’t you?”

“I think so.”

“Usually it’s the guy that gets cold feet, my dear. But then again you aren’t the typical female, I knew that from our first night together,” I tease.

“I know, our relationship hasn’t been the typical courtship, now has it?” she says with the wicked smile I love.

“No, you made me chase you, I had to fight for you tooth and nail.”

“You weren’t used to that were you Golden Boy? You were used to getting what you wanted, when you wanted it,” she quips.

“You got that right, but in the end I won you over, didn’t I?”

“Yes you did. I love you Marcus, I do.”

“But you still have cold feet.”

“No, it’s the wedding planning that’s getting to me, that’s all.”

“Fine, then I will schedule the appointment with the wedding caterer at the Savoy and we will go together,” I say.

“That sounds perfect.”

“It’s settled then.” I can’t believe how much I have to push Sophie down the aisle, this girl who is the love of my life. It’s like she’s dragging her heels to the altar. Isn’t it usually the girl dragging the guy to the altar? What’s wrong with this picture, I think to myself. All I want is to make my Sophie happy.

Chapter 14

Sophie

I feel so much remorse for what I did to John. Sometimes it makes me feel like I don’t deserve happiness because of it. Shopping for a wedding dress again today brought all of these emotions to the surface again. As hard as I’ve tried to ignore them lately. I look at a picture of Marcus and I took together in Hawaii and then it makes me think of Krista.

“Hi Mom,” I say when my Mom picks of the phone.

“Hi honey, how are you?”

“A little overwhelmed.”

“Why?”

“I went wedding dress shopping today and I really wished you could have been there with me,” I admit and am met with silence on the other end.

“Sophie, you know how I feel about it all.”

“I know, that’s why I didn’t ask you to come." I know I’ll be lucky to get you over here for the wedding.”

“London is far for me.”

“But you will make it right?”

“Have you and Marcus set a date?”

“Not yet.” There’s a deafening silence on the other end of the phone.

“Mom, can’t you try and be happy for me?”

“I was happy for you…”

“Was as in you aren’t now?”

“You really think you can tame a man like Marcus?”

My mother goes right for the jugular, right to the heart of my insecurities. Now I’m the silent one. Is my mom right? Mothers usually are.

“Oh, by the way, I ran into Mrs. Devereaux when I was shopping down on Rodeo, near their jewelry store. She was barely cordial to me, especially after how you treated her poor son, who could blame the woman.”

“Mom, please. Not a day goes by that I don’t have remorse over what transpired between John and I. I’m sorry, but I had to follow my heart. Don’t you understand?”

“No, but I’m sorry I don’t. John was so perfect in every way for you. How you could pass him over for a man like Marcus is beyond me. The Hunter name, his money and the lifestyle you seem to think he can provide you lured you in. I just hope he’s home with you at night. You will have always keep a close eye on that one, mark my words.”