Finn stares at us and he acts like he knows.

“You knew?” I whisper.

“I did,” he answers. “But then I thought I was crazy, because all of the déjà vu and things happened over and over, and my memories didn’t seem real.”

“Maybe we’re all crazy,” I say, and Dare shakes his head.

“No. They think we are, because it doesn’t seem plausible. But we’re not. Sabine knows the truth, but she’s been using their perceptions against us. They’re making people think that we’re sick, that we are insane. But we’re not.”

“What do we do?” I ask and the future seems bleak. “The past is a prison.”

And we’ll never break free.

“We have to stick together,” Dare says, and he’s resolute. “We’ll get this sorted. We’ll figure out what to do. Sabine needs us. We just have to control our dreams. That’s how we spin out of the moment and into another.”

“But how can we control dreams?” Finn asks doubtfully.

It’s an excellent question.

“We’ll have to figure it out,” Dare says, and he’s tired. “My mother died, and I don’t agree with Sabine that it was a mistake. I think things happen for a reason and if we try and change it, that is the mistake.”

I agree.

Dreams aren’t real. They’re only real if we make them that way.

“I need to talk to you,” I tell Dare, and he knows what I need to say. He’s hesitant but he walks with me through the gardens, away from the house, away from people who can hear us.

“You betrayed me,” I tell him and my whisper is broken with sadness.

“I tried to tell you,” he says sadly, and I know I know I know when it was. The night my mother was killed, one of the many times I re-lived that moment. “You tried to tell me, but we spun. It changed.”

Dare nods and his eyes glisten and my heart breaks.

“I love you, Calla. I couldn’t bear to lose you. I thought it was hopeless. Sabine let me believe that it had to be you or Finn, and she convinced me that Finn was already lost. He was supposed to die when he was small.”

He was, I know that’s true. “But I can’t live without him,” I manage to utter, and my words are hot, my eyes are hot.

Dare nods. “I know that now. I know.”

My heart freezes in pain, frozen at the mere thought.

“I’ll die without Finn, Dare.”

“I know. I’ll sacrifice myself. Perhaps that will work.”

“No,” I almost scream, because the panic the panic the panic. “No. I can’t lose you, and they say it has to be Finn. So your sacrifice would be for nothing, just like your mother’s. There has to be another way. I’ll change it in my dreams. We’ll do something.”

“I don’t think that will work,” he says doubtfully. “It’s going to take a sacrifice from Cain’s blood to finally make this stop. You’re not of Cain. You’re of Abel.”

“Please promise me,” I beg, clutching at his shirt. “It won’t be you. It won’t be Finn. We won’t give up.”

He’s wordless as we enter the secret garden,

Our place.

The angels stare at us with empty eyes, and I sag into Dare.

He’s so warm,

So strong, so strong,

So real.

“Is this really happening?” I ask him. “Because sometimes, I can’t tell the difference.”

He tilts my head back with his thumb, lifting my face to the sky. His eyes claim me, stroke me, ignite me.

I fold into his palms,

And he holds me up.

“I’m real,” he says into my hair. “You’re real.”

We’re standing in the moonlight,

There’s no reason to be afraid.

Right?

Dare kisses me and his lips are sunlight. He touches me and his fingers are the moon. It’s night somewhere, and by night we are free.

We come together like the stars,

Beneath the shelter of the gazebo.

Away from sight,

Away from everything.

Just us.

Our skin is hot,

Our mouths are needy.

We are alone.

But for the godforsaken angels.

“The angels scare me,” I whisper to Dare, and I clutch him close.

He holds me tight.

“I know,” he says. “Why is that?”

“I don’t know,” I answer, and it’s the truth. “Maybe it’s their eyes. They see me.”

“I see you,” he reminds me, and his eyes are black.

Black, black,

Black as night.

“Will you always?” I murmur, and his neck tastes like salt. My fingers find his LIVE FREE.

“Yes,” he promises.

“Repromissionem,” I tell him. “It’s Latin.”

“I know.”

That night, I sleep in my room and Finn sleeps with me.

“Have I died in your memories?” he asks me suddenly, just when I’m slipping into sleep. I’m hesitant, but I nod.

“Yeah.”

“More than once?”

“Yeah. How about me… in your memories, I mean?”

He shakes his head. “No. You lost your mind a few times, but you never died. You were sick once, and Dare was sick once. Something was wrong with your heart, but then I gave it to Dare in my dream. Then he was sick… but then it changed again. I don’t know how, but I saved you once. I’ll save you again.”

Save me, and I’ll save you.

“You lost your mind in my memories, too,” I tell him, and I think we must’ve passed the madness back and forth, taking it from each other, over and over. Because we never want each other to suffer. We’re twins. We’re closer than the very closest thing on earth.

“Calla,” Finn starts to say and I want to interrupt him because I think I know what he’s going to say. “What you said earlier, about not changing things… you were right.”

My heart sinks.

“And you changed things for me. I was supposed to die already.”

“You fell, in kindergarten. From the climbing rope at school,” I tell him. “How is that something that should be meant to be?”

He shrugs. “It just is. And I think changing it and changing it and changing it is just banging your head against a rock.”

“You’re not going to die, Finn,” I instruct him, and he laughs without humor.

“I’m not sure it’s up to us,” he answers. “Not in the end. I’m meant to save you, Calla. I feel it in my bones.”

I don’t know if he’s right. All I know is that I can’t live without him. I fall asleep holding his hand. In the morning, Dare is sitting in the room, waiting for us to wake up.

My eyes are groggy as I stare at him, and the things from yesterday come back to me, and I sit straight up.

“Did anything change while we slept?” I ask him quickly, and he doesn’t know.

“All I know is that we’re going to Oregon,” he tells us. “I called your father and we’re leaving on the next flight.”

Finn and I pack because going home seems reasonable, because Whitley is filled with secrets and danger and because Sabine is here.

When we leave, when we drive away, I look over my shoulder and I swear I see the curtains move from a small room upstairs. Someone is watching us go, and the hair raises on my neck, because Sabine isn’t trying very hard to keep us from going… it’s almost as if she wants us to.

Dare drives, and I’m beside him and he grasps my hand.

“It’ll be ok,” he promises me. “Just stay awake. Stay awake for now, until we figure out what to do. Don’t dream.” Finn agrees from the backseat and we drive away away away away from Whitley. We drive to the airport, and we fly home, and when we get home, it’s night and we drive to the funeral home through the rain.

If we can just get there, it will be ok. I feel it in my heart, in my bones, in my soul. The tires crunch on the road, and the lightning lights up the sky, and cliffs are jagged and real. I’m so exhausted and my eyelids are heavy, but if I close them if I close them if I close them… I do. They’re too heavy to resist and the hooded boy is outside my window.

He’s next to the car window and he moves with us and his lips are moving and I hear his whisper.

“Go

to

sleep.”

His fingers are on the glass and I touch them because I can’t help it, and I feel my energy slip slip slipping away, and I can’t resist it and I drift away in sleep.