“I’m sorry Kate. I thought you wanted this.” His hands drop from my waist.

“I do.” I whisper. “I just don’t know if you want it as much as I do.”

“You’re not sure if I want you?” I nod.

Jon imprisons my eyes with his sharp gaze. “I want you so fucking much. I think about you all the time. I think about you even when I don’t want to.”

I gulp nervously and lick my lips. They suddenly feel dry as I breathe roughly through my mouth. He’s stealing my resolve. I never give in, but I want to with him. Maybe I can let myself have him, just this one time.

Jon wraps my hand in his own and grips it over his straining erection. He moves our hands together up and down the hard length of his cock, still covered in his jeans. Even through the stiff fabric I can feel how long and big he is. I lick my lips again, this time in eagerness.

“This. This is what you do to me Kate. I want you, make no mistake.”

His hand leaves mine to trace the front of my lingerie, cupping my breasts in his large hands. I continue to stroke him. His head dips, kissing and sucking the skin on my neck. My head falls back, giving him better access and I clutch the waistband of his jeans. I work my fingers to quickly unbutton and unzip them, reaching inside to grasp the soft skin around his hard length.

He halts my progress by bending down low. I squeal as he picks me up over his shoulder. My ass is high up in the air and my head hangs upside down over his back. He slaps my butt making me yelp again.

“Bed. Now.”

He walks us over to my mattress. It sits atop a simple platform in one corner of the room, a small privacy screen dividing the space from the rest of the studio. Despite what people think, I rarely have company. The bustle of the city sounds through the large tinted windows.

Jon drops me on the bed and crawls over me, kissing my lips and stealing my breath before moving down my body. He sucks and nips across my neck and barely concealed breasts, pulling down the lace cups to suck each nipple one at a time into his greedy mouth. I feel worshiped and my panties soak in anticipation.

His hands find the zipper to my skirt and tugs. He stands from the bed, pulling my skirt off leaving me only in my bra and matching lace thong. I reach to pull off my heels but Jon halts me with his hand.

“No, these stay on. You’re my personal fucking wet dream, Kate, and I’m going to memorize every second.”

He makes quick work of his clothes and stands before me at the edge of the bed in all his glory. I’ve seen a lot of cocks and his is larger than average. I swallow in an attempt to clear my watering mouth.

“Condom.” I croak out. “We need a condom.”

“Do you have any?” He asks and I nod, remembering I have a few stashed in my bathroom cabinet.

“I’ll be right back.”

I scramble from the bed with as much grace as I can muster and make my way into the small bathroom. I open the cabinet and search, haphazardly knocking over a few things as I finally unearth the box. I catch my own reflection in the mirror.

I look wanton, I look thoroughly fucked, and I don’t look like me. And we haven’t even done the deed yet. My heart skips a beat making me question if this is a good idea. I want him. God, I’ve always wanted Jon.

“Don’t be such a chicken shit!” I whisper to my reflection. I need this. I deserve this. God damn it I’m going to enjoy this. I take a deep breath and enter the room, box in hand. As soon as my eyes find his my breath catches. He stands waiting at the foot of my bed and the intensity of his gaze cause my steps to falter.

“Come here, Kate.” He commands and I strut slowly to him, purposefully swinging my hips with each step, knowing I look damn good in these heels and lingerie. Daily yoga practice yields a stellar body.

When I reach Jon he smiles before kissing me on the lips, taking the box of condoms from my hands. He grabs my hips, turning and bending me over. I reach my arms out to the bed, catching myself from falling. I can feel him move behind me.

“You ready for me, Kate?”

I tense and he surprises me by moving my thong to the side and runs his tongue between my wet and swollen folds. Spending a few moments to lick and suck me here, making me groan in pleasure.

“So fucking hot.” He murmurs. I feel his body brush the backs of my legs as he stands and gives my ass a little spank. He reaches over to grab the box and unwrap a condom. I’ve imagined this moment countless times since I first began crushing on this man back in high school. I always thought if we made love it would be more romantic or I could at least see his face.

Jon picks up on my nerves, running one of his hands up and down my back. The other moves between my wetness, sliding two fingers inside.

“So ready for me to fuck you. Don’t worry Kate, this will feel good.”

He moves his fingers and replaces them with his hard length. He stretches me as he fills me, moving in and out with slow thrusts until he’s fully sheathed inside. We both groan at the sensation.

“So fucking tight.” He hisses.

He grips one of my hips with one of his hands for balance and uses the other to reach around, finding my clit with his index finger to rub in steady circles. He thrusts in and out, quickening his pace.

I moan loudly.

“Yeah that’s it, Kate. Let me know what you like. Tell me what you want.”

His words spur on my pleasure.

“Harder, Jon. Fuck me harder.” I beg.

He moves with renewed purpose and drops the hand on my hip. He bends over me, fitting his chest over my back. He weaves a hand into the hair at the nape of my neck and tugs. My head arches with the rest of my body. His lips find my ear, licking and whispering sweet words.

“So good, Kate. You are so good.”

His words push me over the edge and our bodies slap together with sweat and desire. I come hard, screaming out his name. A few thrusts later Jon follows me with his own release. He pulls out and stands, pulling me with him.

Jon turns my body and kisses me, rubbing his hands up and down and all over my back as his tongue dances with mine. His continued enthusiasm has me turned on and ready for a round two. I never experience this. Sex with Jon is intense but also exciting. I want more.

After a few minutes of kissing he finally releases me from his hold.

“Let me take care of this.” He motions the condom he’s now holding and I nod as he goes into my bathroom. I’m spent. Turned on, but spent. I lay in the middle of the bed. Jon is amazing. The best sex of my life.

I smile as Jon comes back into the room. I roll to my side and pat the space beside me on the bed. He grins and walks over to the bed, grabbing his pair of discarded boxer briefs before joining me. I’m a little disappointed that he’s covered up, I like this man naked and was enjoying the free show.

“So, how does this go?”

His softly spoken words confuse me. I’m relaxed and replaying the ecstasy we’ve just experienced in my head. His words pull me from my daze.

“What?”

“Like what’s the protocol here. How does this usually go? Do I stay or should I leave?”

Oh. My mind quickly fills in the gaps as I realize what he’s asking me. He thinks I fuck around, that I do this on a regular basis. That this means nothing to me. My gut twists at the knowledge. Of course he does. I’ve led everyone to believe it.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m just disappointed. Disappointed that he doesn’t feel the same as I do. That I’ve let my hopes get wrapped into the pleasure we’ve just shared.

If he really knew everything. About me. About how I felt about him. He wouldn’t have stayed. I was sure of it. I school my features and smile my most practiced alluring smile.

“That’s up to you Mr. Army. I got what I needed, but I won’t turn down a round two if you’re offering.” I’m disgusted at my own words, they’re in direct contrast to the feelings bouncing around inside, but I refuse to give him any more than I already have tonight. He doesn’t want to talk about feelings anyway. He just wanted to fuck.