“Don’t they want to meet me first?”

“I know them. This is fine.”

“How?”

“Lauren—” Kenzie’s eyes narrow “—do you want the job or not?”

“Yes. I mean I think I do, as long as everything works out.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

I mentally start tallying the things I need to ask as Kenzie reverts her attention back to her phone.

“Perfect. You start tomorrow at three.”

“I have class until three thirty.”

“Every other day they won’t need you until four. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’re smart.” With that, she stands up and leaves.

“Apparently not smart enough,” I mumble, collapsing on my bed and focusing on the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars that decorate my ceiling.

The Weight of Rain _2.jpg

THE ADDRESS Kenzie texted to me is nearly two miles from the bus stop. I know I’m supposed to be heading south, but apart from that, I’m clueless. Portland is a big enough city that even though I’ve been around numerous parts, I’m still not intimately familiar with most of it, including this area that’s boasting large homes and wide sidewalks that have grass and trees painted along both sides as well as down the median.

I grip my messenger bag and pull it higher on my shoulder as I try to figure out my directions app for walking.

Thirty minutes later, annoyance and frustration are clawing at my nerves. It’s cold and damp out, the sky a misty gray, yet I’ve been picking up the pace in hope of not being late, and now sweat is making me feel sticky and making my bag and jeans rub uncomfortably. My hair is adding to my irritation, heavily weighted as it actively attempts to strangle me. I still have no idea where I am, but I’m positive I’ve passed this house already. It’s lime green, making it stand out. The house is beautiful. I’m sure most architects and artists would consider it a masterpiece with a long wraparound porch, wide-paneled siding, and an intricately carved bargeboard along the roofline that looks like it was hand carved. There are matching gablet windows on the second story that make me yearn to curl up with a sketch pad and cup of hot chocolate in this cold drizzle. I can’t imagine why they painted the damn thing such an intrusive color; it nearly matches the lichen moss that blankets several of the large rocks in the front yard.

“You look lost.” My head jerks from the rocks that rest against the sharp contrast of the garage doors, which are painted a crisp white, to where an older man is standing with a small smile that, even with his unfamiliarity, I can see reaches his eyes.

I brush the small wisps of hair clinging to the sides of my forehead—likely curled and sticking out at dangerous angles, making me look both younger and homeless. I try to paint a smile on my face and nod. “Yeah, I keep getting turned around. I’m supposed to be on Cedar Drive. Do you happen to know where I can find it?”

“Cedar Drive? You looking for the Knight residence?” He takes a few steps closer to me, letting the screen door fall shut behind him.

Relief makes my smile grow. “Yes.”

“You’re not too far. You’re just going to head up two blocks, take a left on Washington, and head that way three blocks. You’ll see Cedar on your right. It’s a narrow road, easy to miss.”

“Left on Washington, right on Cedar?” I repeat in question, ensuring that’s all there is to remember.

“That’s it. You’ll have a small trek to get to their house, but you’ll probably be there in about twenty minutes or so.”

I don’t have twenty minutes to spare—I’m supposed to be there in four. “Thank you so much for your help. Have a great day.”

“You should try smiling more.” I have to turn to look back at him because I’m already moving quickly in the direction he pointed. “Smiles like yours make this world a better place.”

I intentionally don’t smile at his assessment. Instead, I redirect my focus and pick up my pace to cut my time, hoping his twenty-minute prognosis is an estimate of how long it would take him to reach the house.

Each of my breaths stretches into white clouds of lace as I jog down the road, my ears and lungs burning from the cold though my muscles are too warm. The road is narrow, only wide enough for a single car to pass at a time, and both sides are covered with an encroaching green mass of trees and moss that has made the road both darker and slicker. I haven’t passed a single house since I turned onto Cedar, like I’ve entered another part of Oregon, something closer to Mount Hood, where it’s typical to find houses surrounded by nothing but wildflowers, heavy curtained fir trees, and single dirt roads that you can get lost down for days.

A turn of the narrow road breaks the monotony of green, and a large cabin-styled house appears with a dark green roof and wide driveway. A loud sigh emits another large billow of white as I hurry toward it.

Stopping at the front door, I feel the cold roughness of my jeans clinging to my calves from soaking up the water from the road. My heart races as my finger connects with the doorbell while my eyes slowly rove around the porch. It’s stained a dark brown to match the house. The front door matches the dark green roof and is detailed with carvings of small squares and thick lines, bordered by much finer lines that make the door look subtly expensive.

The door opens as I’m studying the wooden blinds covering the windows facing the porch, all of which are drawn shut. My attention snaps to where a little girl with dark brown hair lying in waves down her petite frame, is staring at me. Her eyes are wide and a sea green that makes me think of an ocean painting I’m currently working on for a class—it would be the perfect hue for the caps of the waves, right before they turn opaque as they hit the surf. Her lips are folded against her teeth as she stares at me. It’s not in wonderment. No, I’ve seen this look; she’s judging me. Mentally berating me, likely for being late and my appearance if I look half as bad as I feel.

“Hi, you must be Mercedes. I’m Lauren.”

Her small hand remains wrapped around the doorknob as she continues staring at me, and I turn to glance in the same direction to ensure there’s not something or someone behind me that’s holding her attention. There’s only the same looming trek of forest that I ran through to get here, though.

“I’m really sorry I’m late. I kept getting turned around. Cedar Drive isn’t marked, so I thought this was just a driveway or a dead-end road.”

“Are you from another planet?” Her voice is gravelly for being so young, but it’s her words that come as a surprise.

My eyes widen in confusion and my head tilts. “Some days it feels like I am, but as far as I’m aware, no. Ten toes, ten fingers, one belly button.” I’m not sure where this explanation derives from, but I regret it instantly as I see her face contort with obvious repugnance.

“Are your parents home?” I ask in an attempt to change the subject.

“My mom’s dead.” I’m fairly certain my eyebrows are lost in the mass of curling wisps clinging to my forehead. There is no emotion behind her words; it’s simply a statement.

“I’m sorry.” My voice is much softer, making my already quiet tone come out so low I’m not sure she can hear me.

“Why?” Her eyes narrow again, but this time she looks like she’s angry rather than curious.

I stare back at her in confusion for a moment and then shake my head ever so slightly. “Because you lost your mom.”

She lifts her shoulders and focuses her eyes over my shoulder. “Shit happens. Right?”

I leave her question unanswered, not sure if I should reprimand her for swearing when she’s all too right. Then her eyes come back to me, seeking validation, and I swallow though my mouth is still too dry from my run and the cold temperatures. “Shit happens,” I agree.


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