This is just the beginning.

I want to go see Felicity. I want to stand up and get in the elevator. I want to walk into her room and see her face. I need to see that she's alive for myself. My fear is that she won't make it. I can't lose them both. I won't survive.

Felicity's doctor showed up right after Elliot's left. He said that she should recover but that she has a long road ahead of her. Her burns weren’t nearly as bad as they had anticipated. Most of them were superficial and will heal on their own. She's still unconscious and not out of the woods completely. They need to evaluate her once she wakes up. Until then they won't know if there is any brain damage.

"I can't lose her." I have to say the words out loud.

"I know. You won't."

"You don't know that. You can't promise me that." I know Will's intentions are genuine but false hope isn't going to do me any good and neither are promises that he can't possibly keep.

"You're right. I can't. She has a chance, though. She made it through the surgery. I'm sure she has a rough road ahead of her, but she has you. You'll help each other through this."

I let his words sink in. I'm going to have to help her through this. Through her recovery and the loss of Elliot. Who's going to help me?

"I will."

I must have said that out loud. I never meant to ask the question, but I'm not surprised by his answer. "Why?"

"Do I have to have a reason?"

I turn toward him and look him in the eye. "There's a reason for everything in life. There's a reason Elliot... There's a reason Felicity is lying in a hospital bed right now. There's a reason you are sitting here with me. Some of the reasons suck. What's your reason?"

"I care about you, Reagan. A lot. More than I should. I'm hoping that someday you might feel the same way about me. If not, I'll gain an amazing friend out of the deal." Always so honest.

I want to care about Will. If there's been anyone I've met who's been worth caring about, it's him. I didn't realize it at first, our date being cut short and all, but I realize it now. He's a good person, a good man. He's the kind of man that I've been trying to avoid all these years for fear of falling in love with someone else. Someone that isn't Luke.

Luke. I wonder if he knows.

"I have to head to the airport soon to pick up Felicity's parents. Why don't you wait upstairs with her? I'm sure she'd like some company." Will stands and holds his hand out for me. I place mine in his and allow him to pull me to my feet. "I know this is horrible timing, but I'm going to kiss you, Reagan. Not because I'm trying to get you in bed and not because I like you. I'm going to kiss you because you need it. You need something good right now and it's all I can offer you. I can be your consolation prize."

He's right in so many ways, but I'll never tell him that.

I let him kiss me. It's sweet but passionate. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. He responds perfectly, pulling me into his body and holding me there. When our lips part, my first thought is that I want him to do that again. For me, that's the opposite of normal.

"Ready?"

His eyes meet mine and I see the meaning behind that one word. For the first time ever, I don't hesitate. I don't run. "Yes."

Walking hand in hand to the elevators, I smile. I think about how Felicity would be proud of me. Thinking of Felicity causes me to think of Elliot and my smile fades. Guilt creeps in. I lost him today. He was smiling and happy this afternoon. He was alive, fighting with Luke on the phone. He had his entire life ahead of him. He was going to ask Felicity to marry him.

It all ended in the blink of an eye. His life was cut short by some asshole that decided to run a red light. He destroyed Elliot's world. He destroyed the Evan's world. He destroyed a large part of my world.

The door to her room is open. I take a step in the door and I feel like I'm being punched in the face. So many sounds assault me at once. Felicity is hooked up to a bunch of machines, but she looks like she's sleeping peacefully. The doctor said that they were able to remove the machine that was breathing for her. She's still hooked up to a heart monitor, an IV and a couple of other machines that I have no idea what they are for.

"Are you going to be okay if I leave you here and head to the airport?"

"I'll be fine. Thank you for all your help and for picking them up. Will I see you when you come back?"

"I'll bring them up here. Did you want me to stay?"

Do I? No. "I was hoping that you might bring me back home. If she's not awake by the time they get here, I want to give them their space with her."

"Sure. I'll see you in a little bit. Call me if you need anything."

Will closes the door behind him and I take the seat next to the bed. I caress Felicity's hand and talk to her like she can hear me. I tell her all good things, only positive things. I tell her all about how amazing Will has been. I tell her about my plans for taking this one seriously and giving him a chance. When the words come out of my mouth I'm shocked. It was only this afternoon when I told him that I couldn't offer him more than friendship. Now, I'm telling Felicity that I want more.

I'll have to be the one to tell her about Elliot. I don't want to be that person but at the same time, I do. She's going to need me when she finds out. I'm going to need her when I finally say the words aloud. Until then, it's not real. Not as real as it will be at least.

In less than an hour, Will is back with the Granger's in tow. I hug them both as they cry on my shoulder. Felicity looks just like her mother. I've seen pictures of them together before, but the resemblance in person is scary. They could be twins, born twenty years apart.

I need air. I have to get out of this room. I'm going to start crying if I don't get a moment alone so I excuse myself for the night. They promise to call if she wakes up. I give them my key to the house and the address in case they want to get some rest. I know they won't show up. They probably won't leave her side until she's awake.

Will offers to come in and keep me company but I want to be alone. Opening the front door, walking into the silence that is waiting for me, is more than I can handle. I'm exhausted, but I need to run. It's the only time I feel like I'm not alone.

I change and slip on my shoes. I stretch for a few minutes on the deck before taking off down the beach. I don't push myself. I'm barely running. I stop after only a few yards and drop on the sand. I watch as the wave’s crash against the shore in the moonlight. It's beautiful and I wish I had someone to share it with.

My mind wanders to Luke. I'm sure James called him and told him the news. I'm sure he'll come home to lay his brother to rest. I'll be seeing him soon but for the first time since he left, I don't want to.

I call Felicity's parents before attempting to sleep to see if there's any change. She still hasn't woken up. The doctors came in and checked on here after I left. They spoke to the doctor about her condition and her chances. They seem to be optimistic at this point. Her body is healing. Their main concern still is whether or not she has any brain damage and they won't be able to tell until she wakes up.

Sleep eludes me as I toss and turn for hours until I finally give up. Every time I close my eyes I picture Elliot. His face is bruised and battered. He's bleeding and screaming for help. I can't remember the man he used to be. I can't remember the boy I grew up with. That's who I want to remember. I don't want my last memories of Elliot to be of today, of this accident.