“That was...” Thorny paused and looked at the clock. “Shit.”

“What?”

“Pull yourself together. It’s almost time.”

“Time for what?” Nora asked as Thorny disposed of the condom and pulled his jeans on. He grabbed her hand and led her out of the bedroom.

“It’s almost nine. House is on.”

“What is on?”

“You don’t watch House? Who doesn’t watch House?”

“What’s House?”

“You like men who are arrogant imperious assholes, right?”

“Right,” she said.

“Trust me. You’ll love House.” He half pushed, half tossed her onto her sofa. He picked up her remote control and flipped through a few channels. The theme music had only just started. Thorny sat on the couch and hauled her into his arms. He put a pillow on his lap. She rested her head on it and him.

“Comfortable?” he asked.

“Very.” She was lying on her sofa curled up with her head in the lap of a male escort while a TV show that was apparently about the rudest doctor on earth played on her television. Thorny wore only jeans. She had on nothing but her panties and Thorny’s T-shirt she’d thrown on. And she liked it.

“By the way,” Thorny said as the show went to commercial, “this right now...this is the Boyfriend Experience.”

Nora smiled up at him.

“I need a boyfriend.”

30

A Thorny Problem

THORNY SPENT THE NIGHT.

Not only did he spend the night he stayed the next morning and helped her cook breakfast. Together they stripped the stained sheets off the bed and Thorny helped her put on fresh ones. They took separate showers and since yesterday’s summer storm had broken the heat wave, they went for a walk in her neighborhood. She showed him all her favorite houses, all her favorite haunts. The coffee shop where she’d written her last book, the little historic library where she did most of her research, the pond where she went to feed the ducks when she’d worked so much the bread she’d bought had gone stale before she could eat it.

Arm in arm they walked back to her house. She knew Thorny would leave her soon. His own life waited for him back in the city, but he seemed in no hurry. Was this still part of the Boyfriend Experience? Or did he really want to be with her?

“So...” he said as they turned the corner onto her street. “Do I get to see you again?”

“You get to... Fuck.”

“That goes without saying.”

“No. I mean, fuck.” She pointed at a car in her driveway, a silver Rolls-Royce. “Kingsley is here.”

“Oh, fuck,” he said.

“Can you give us a few minutes? I’ll get rid of him,” she said.

“Half an hour? You’ll be okay?”

“I’m Mistress Fucking Nora, right?” she said, forcing a smile. “I’m always okay.”

He kissed her on the cheek and set off walking. Nora steeled herself for whatever it was that brought Kingsley over to her house. Whatever it was, it probably wasn’t good. Kingsley hated leaving the city for the “wilderness,” as he called Connecticut, and only did so under duress.

“King?” she called out as she shut the front door behind her. “You here?”

“In your bedroom, Maîtresse,” he called back. “S’il vous plait.”

Nora sighed and marched upstairs. As she neared her bedroom she heard someone speaking. Her.

“Ever fuck an underage boy?”

“Yes.”

“Do you ever fuck girls?”

“I have. I do.”

“Client?”

“One is. The only client I fuck. I mean, other than you...”

Nora rushed into her bedroom and ripped the camera out of Kingsley’s hand.

Then she slapped him so hard her hand rang like a bell and five finger marks glowed bright red on his olive skin. His eyes blazed momentarily with fury as he raised his hand to his cheek and faced her.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.

“You didn’t answer your phone,” Kingsley said.

“That’s why you’re here? That’s why you’re in my house without invitation going through my personal things? All without my consent?”

“You gave me the key to your house.”

“For emergencies. Not so you can come in and go through my stuff.” She hit the button and erased the tape before Kingsley could look at another single frame of it.

“When you fuck a client it’s my business.”

“I did not fuck a client.”

“Alec Thornberry, aka Thorny, paid me one thousand dollars for one hour of your time. And on that tape you call him your client.”

“That was a joke and it doesn’t matter. You should never have looked at that.”

“I’ve seen you fucking before, remember?”

“Fine. I’ll put a camera in your bedroom and secretly film you and Juliette. How much would she like that?”

“That’s entirely different.”

“Right. Because you respect Juliette and you clearly have no respect for me.”

“This has nothing to do with respect. I can’t trust you with your clients anymore. Not after Talel. And certainly not after this.”

“I had no appointments after Thorny, and I didn’t have to work this morning. I have a personal connection with Thorny that made it awkward to take money from him.”

“You gave him pity sex because he has a brain tumor?”

“It’s not a— Kingsley.” She pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes. She almost never had headaches but it felt as if she were about to have an aneurysm herself. She took two deep breaths and met Kingsley’s eyes. “I like Thorny.”

“I can tell,” he said. “You promised me you’d never sleep with a client again.”

“He canceled his session with me.”

“So you could fuck him with a clear conscience?”

“I decide who is and is not a client. I didn’t want him as a client. That is my right.”

“Fine. Fuck him then. But do you realize he could have taken that tape and blackmailed you with it? The Red Queen getting fucked by a notorious male escort while admitting she fucks her clients.” Kingsley pointed at the camera. “Do you mention Søren on the tape?”

“Not by name.”

“So you did?”

“I’m not having this conversation with you. I know you think you’re protecting me. I know you think this is your job. But you don’t seem to realize what a gross violation of my privacy this is. I am disgusted with you right now. You could have at least waited until I came home and asked me what was on the tape. I would have told you.”

“No, you wouldn’t have. You don’t even answer the phone when I call you, and I’ve called you two dozen times in the past twelve hours.”

“I turned off my phone since it was my night off, and I didn’t want to be interrupted because I was on a date.”

“A date? You don’t date.”

“Of course I don’t date. When I try to date anybody, you and this fucking job get in the way of it. I have to fuck clients because they’re the only men I ever see.”

“You want more free time?”

“I’d love it,” she said.

“Fine. You’re fired.”

Nora was speechless.

For all of one second.

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me all you want. I’m calling Detective Cooper on your friend Thorny.”

“You’re having Thorny arrested? By one of my own clients?”

“I am.”

“I spent the night with him so you’re having him arrested? You can’t punish Thorny to punish me.”

“If it’s the only way I can punish you, then so be it.”

“You’re as sanctimonious as Søren, and he gets paid to be holier-than-thou. Have you forgotten you have no room to talk? Who have you not fucked in this city? Or blackmailed for that matter? At least what Thorny does is consensual. You have fucked many a person over without asking permission first.”

“I swore to Søren I would protect you. You’re not making that job very easy, Maîtresse.”

“You fired me and you’re having Thorny arrested and for no reason other than I slept with him without asking your permission first. Kingsley, you are out of control. You came into my house without permission and violated my privacy and Thorny’s in a way that is borderline unforgivable. I love you. You are now and always my King and I would step in front of a bullet for you. But if you ever do anything like this again, it won’t be Søren you’ll have to worry about. I will castrate you and hang your balls on the rearview mirror of my Aston Martin and take everyone in the tri-state area for a ride. Do you understand that?”