Then I heard my savior’s voice in almost a whisper. He’d come to rescue me from my impending fate. His hand was reaching for mine, while the other held up a revolver locked and loaded for protection. “I’ve got you, Cassie. It’s going to be okay. I’m getting you out of here.”

I clung to him as he lifted me out the bedroom window. Once my feet hit the ground another agent was there to take me to safety. I turned back around to make sure Agent Campbell was following, but he disappeared back inside.

I heard yelling again, but couldn’t make out what was being said. Another team of agents kicked in the front door and entered the home. I watched it unfold from behind a car.

There were more gun shots and then a lot of silence. I covered my mouth and tried to hold in the tears, but was unsuccessful. My heart was being torn into a million pieces. Before I knew what was happening, my delicious burger made a second appearance. I vomited all over the ground and my feet. My knees became weak and I fell down to the side of my puke. This wasn’t happening.

My ears began to ring, and I was losing my ability to think rationally.

Had this really happened? Was my boyfriend, the man I supposedly loved, dead inside of the house? Had I been the reason he’d been shot?

I already knew the answer, and it made me feel sicker. I couldn’t handle what I’d done. I wished I’d been the one who was shot.

While struggling, I heard someone calling my name. It was hard to recognize at first. It wasn’t like I’d known him long enough to familiarize myself with it.

Agent Campbell ran up toward me, lifting me to a standing position. I watched an ambulance pull into the driveway and the paramedics rushing inside the house. I glanced at Agent Campbell, and then back to the house. Being escorted out in handcuffs was Rocky.

Once I knew he couldn’t hurt me, I made a dash for the front door, desperate to find Brant unharmed. I knew it was unlikely, but still hoped for a miracle.

There was blood everywhere. A pool was forming under his body as the medical workers did their best to revive him. They were doing CPR and calling out for him to breathe. I sank down beside him and fell apart. I thought he was my future. We’d run away to start a life together, only to have it be the end of his. I couldn’t contain the excruciating emotions that overwhelmed me.

Every second that went by left little hope for Brant to survive. As I waited for the verdict, I felt someone come up behind me and touch my shoulder. I already knew who it was, though I didn’t turn to address him. If he wanted to take me to jail for interfering I deserved it. There was nothing else to live for now. I’d lost my hopes for a future. I’d not only caused the death of my boyfriend, but I’d lost hope for my own life. I’d never be able to forgive myself for what I’d done.

The moment they announced his death I knew nothing would ever be the same. When Agent Campbell lifted me to stand again, I held out my wrists and prepared to be detained. This time I’d take that call, and I knew exactly who I needed to reach out to.

Chapter 18

Logan

I wished it didn’t have to end this way; with her surrendering as if she’d been a part of this from the beginning. Instead of cuffing Cassie, I pulled her into my arms and let her cry. She was unresponsive for a few seconds, and then finally broke down.

There was nothing I could say to ease the pain. She’d lost the person she thought she’d spend the rest of her life with. Regardless of what he’d done, she’d forever blame herself. I knew I was to blame, at least for her part in it all.

As much as I’d tried to protect her, some people just don’t want to be saved. For Cassie, it was more of her needing to make up for her mistakes. She wanted to do the right thing and save her boyfriend. Unfortunately she was unable to convince him they were better off leaving. Brant was probably too messed up to understand what was happening. Maybe if he’d been sober she could have gotten to him in time.

While I stood holding the girl I barely knew, I watched the paramedics preparing Brant for transport. He’d be taken the morgue and from there someone would have to claim his body. I wondered if it would have to be Cassie. Would she have to suffer the pain over and over again until it consumed her? Would she revert back to drug use to alleviate the pain?

A part of me wished it were that easy. I’d buried my feelings deep inside of me and let them linger for far too long. By the time I started to feel better, I had so much pent up anger I needed to take it out on something. I destroyed property, and beat my drunk friend to a pulp. After that night something inside of me changed. I knew I couldn’t inflict harm on others just because my life sucked.

I had a choice, and I chose to get myself together.

I’d prided myself in being a sort of hero. On this night I’d been the reaper. My involvement had left one man dead. As I held onto the woman who loved him, I wondered if she’d ever see me as anything more than the person who caused this to happen. Blaming me would come easy for her, and I couldn’t expect it to be any other way. It was my burden to carry, and hers to overcome.

“Come on. Let me get you out of here.”

She pulled away and walked in the direction of her bedroom, from what I assumed. I followed her, watching as she gathered her things. Her sniffles indicated she was still crying, even though I was unable to see her face. “Do you need help?” I offered.

“No. I think you’ve done enough.”

“Cassie, I never meant for anyone to get hurt. You know that. I begged you not to  come here tonight.”

“Don’t.” She pointed at me. “You don’t get to scold me. I know exactly what I’ve done.”

“I wasn’t going to scold you.”

She rushed by me. “Just get me out of here. I can’t stand around staring at the blood for any longer.”

I don’t know why I kept pushing. It was obvious she needed time to take it all in and understand what came next. She had a long road ahead of her, and I wished there was something I could do to make it easier. I hated having something to do with her pain.

That’s when I knew I was going to watch out for her, at least until she could get back on her feet, or finally be able to call her family and ask them to forgive her. Cassie needed support, not someone pushing her to do the right thing.

I’d caught my guy. While he was behind bars, we’d tear his life apart until we found enough evidence to keep him in jail for the rest of his days.

Chapter  19

Cassie

Dead.

Brant was dead.

It kept repeating in my head, including the sound of the gun going off. After seeing Rocky being carted out I realized he’d been injured. I wondered if Brant had gotten a shot in before being gunned down. I hoped it were the case, because at least he didn’t go down without trying.

Agent Campbell drove us away from the scene. I didn’t really care where we were going. I knew I’d been clean for long enough where drugs weren’t in my system, but I still felt dizzy and out of control. My mouth tasted like puke, and my stomach was back to reminding me it was yet again empty. I stared out the window, watching the miles distance me from where I’d witnessed something horrifying. I didn’t know the first thing about overcoming such a devastating loss. I honestly didn’t even know if I wanted to. I felt responsible. So many times I could have said something to Brant. If I’d only acted sooner he would have still been with me.

Then I thought about the cheating, and the way he’d abandoned me in my time of need. Would we still be a couple if he’d lived? Could I have forgiven him for being unfaithful?