I began gradually moving my body over his. Our pace was slow, our kisses ravenous. A few minutes went by; a few glorious minutes where I felt like nothing in life could feel better. Then I watched him come undone. He dug his fingernails into my ass and stilled me, low groans escaping from his spent lips. I kissed them, letting my lips remain over his. Being with Logan was effortless. I didn’t feel like a whore, or something desperate to bury my demons. It felt right.

Just because the intercourse part was over, didn’t mean Logan was done. Once he calmed down, he spun me around and pulled my back up against his chest. His arms came around, and I twisted my neck around to kiss him again. He took the bar of soap from the little decorative box and began stroking it over my skin. He coursed it against each of my nipples, sending shooting tingles back down to my still pulsating pussy. This time I was the one making the soft noises.

Logan continued down, lowering his hand until it was over my pussy again. He rubbed with pressure, a constant tempo that sent me into a frenzy. While my body jerked above him, he did his best to steady me. Then I went limp, allowing him to hold me with his strong arms. He kissed the side of my face as we lay there together, no words necessary.

I was in heaven. Never had an encounter felt so intense. In all my time I’d spent with Brant, I’d never known him the way Logan was allowing me to. I didn’t even know how to comprehend it all.

Later, when we were both tired of being in the water, we retreated into the bedroom, choosing to share a bed instead of separating. Logan never let me out of his sight. He held me close, every so often kissing me to remind me he was there. Sleep came easy, probably because I knew there was no safer place to be than in his arms.

Chapter 28

Logan

I’d gone and done the unthinkable. I’d not only slept with an informant, but I’d done it selfishly, knowing I was about to betray her trust by taking her home to her family, where she’d hate me for certain. At least I knew they could give her the love and support she’d need.

With my job and the work I did, she’d never be able to handle my lifestyle long term. Trying to justify reasons why she wouldn’t want me should have made it easier. I couldn’t understand why it was becoming tougher by the minute.

Now, while she slept so peaceful in my arms, I laid awake wondering how I was going to let her go. I thought about how I was going to look at her without letting on there was something wrong.

I couldn’t deny how good it felt to be with her. She was like a flower, blooming and coming to life after a bad winter. I wanted to be her ray of light, but instead I was going to be the storm that came in and washed away any hope she had of us being anything more than a brief affair.

How could I not hate myself? I felt disgusted. She didn’t deserve to hurt; to be tossed aside again. She wasn’t someone’s trash. She was an amazing person; one of the best I’d ever met. Inside of her was a heart that yearned to be accepted. She was unique, and that’s what I treasured most about her. After she let down her wall, we’d connected undeniably. I craved to be in her presence, to bask in her essence. A part of me considered turning around and being selfish. Why couldn’t I keep her for myself? Would it be so bad to fall into whatever was happening between us? Didn’t we both deserve to be happy? Wasn’t it our turn to experience a positive outcome, instead of the looming darkness we’d both been pervade to?

With an unknown future looming, I tried my best to go to sleep. For the time being I was elated. I had a few more days to enjoy everything she had to offer. Maybe in that time I could figure out a way to give us both what we needed. Maybe she’d still want to be with me, even after I forced her to face her family. Maybe she’d appreciate my efforts and fall into this thing deeper because of my attempts to help her.

Or maybe she’d hate me, regretting every second of being in my presence. They were all understandable possibilities. I had to hope for the best, but expect the worst. I’d prepare myself for the moment I had to accept how it all turned out, no matter what it would do to me. It was still too new to know where it could lead. Maybe that would help me cope if she decided to cut ties and add me to the list of people she never wanted to hear from again.

I woke up to an empty bed. For a second I pictured her leaving in the middle of the night to avoid the inevitable. I considered the possibility of her regretting having slept with me. Maybe it would be better if she had. Then I wouldn’t have to be the one to end things so abruptly. Cassie was going to feel used. There was no getting around it. The moment she realized she was being set up to go home, our relationship would be over permanently. She wouldn’t want to remain friends or keep in touch.

Until I heard movement in the bathroom, I was freaking out. The door blasted open with a puff of steam exiting first. Cassie came out wrapped only in a towel. She got one look at me and headed towards the bed, leaning over to plant a fresh kiss on my lips. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You smell nice,” I said as I pulled her on top of me. Every time I considered the consequences of my actions and was determined to do the right thing, she’d flash that pretty smile and cloud my judgment.

“I wanted to be fresh, just in case.”

Was that a hint she wanted more? Did I have time to brush my teeth, or did she prefer I turn her around and give it to her from behind? I wasn’t sure how to take it.

Since she was still in my arms, only a towel and light blanket separating us, I tapped on her ass, hoping she’d stand so I could take care of some business in the bathroom. She got off the bed and made room for me to stand beside her. I didn’t bother covering up. She’d seen everything I had to offer, even my morning wood. “This is probably a terrible question to ask, but do you want to have breakfast or fuck first?”

She snickered while twisting her hair. “What do you think?”

“I think I’m not about to presume anything. It’s better if you guide me through it blindly.”

“Blindly?” She backed away. “What’s wrong? Does it distract you when I’m naked?”

I pulled her close. “Something like that.”

“You know, if we spend the whole day in bed, we’ll miss out on the slopes. As much as I hate having to wait for nice things, I’m pretty sure we’ll survive if we hold off until dinner.”

“I’d prefer it if you were the dessert.”

“I think that could be arranged.”

As hard as it was going to be to live with, I decided to go with the flow. Being with Cassie was fun. She never asked for strings, not that I could offer her anything. Our road trip may not end well, but we’d have a good time while still on it. When she said she knew how to ski, I got the impression she’d still be a bit clumsy. Nope. Not Cassie.

She took me up on the lift, hopping off when we got to the advanced slopes. Since I wanted to keep up, I didn’t lead on about my inexperience. Sure, I’d been a few times as a kid, but this was a different ballgame. I watched her take off down the mountain, doing my best to keep from crashing into a tree and ending my existence. Cassie was skilled. It was obvious she’d done this plenty of times, while I hadn’t been in at least ten years. I’d thought I was in shape, but my inability to balance property told me different.

As hard as I tried to remain on two feet I felt myself going to the side. In a matter of seconds I was in a dead roll, plunging down the slope. The ski’s unclipped and were left behind a few feet from where my body finally came to halt. Before I could look up and a pair of legs were standing over me. “Jesus, Logan. You said you could ski. I thought you meant you were pretty good at it. I never would have taken you to this level.” She crouched down. “Are you okay?”